What do you to alleviate stress?

Tombo2001

Stress is a part of everyones life. its certainly always been part of mine...

In the past year I've noticed myself more stressed than normal, that is to say, i've been feeling stressed or tense or agigitated more than I did in the past. With that, I've also been more short-tempered.

I'm not sure the reason why, I've had a change of job, it might be related to that.

Anyway, I've never tried to tackle stress directly because it was never a maor issue. I've always had outlets to relieve it, like sport.

I've had other times that I felt very stressed but I knew there was a direct cause, like a death in the family, and dealing with the death implicitly helped with dealing with the stress.

But I've never said to myself "this feeling of stress is getting to me and I want to do something about it"....that the stress itself is the issue I wanted to address.

Just wondering, have people done this and how have they gone about it.

FizzleSticks

This post has been deleted.

Tombo2001

Thanks FizzleSticks, you are right on a lot of levels. Particularly about stressing out about small things when you might have other things that are far more relevant that are going well, but you just dont think about them.

But stepping back from the 'me' part of it, I'm not asking for an answer to my stress issues, more I guess what I was asking was,

how does one go about alleviating stress, if its an ongoing issue in your life....?

Is there an approach to it? Have people specifically decided to tackle the stress issue in life, and how have they done it.

There are a lot of ways that people indirectly try to tackle it, booze would be the most obvious one...I feel stressed, I need a drink...or in more positive way, leaving a job that was too stressful would be another.....

But that wouldnt be a decision to try to tackle the problem of stress per se; in the case of leaving the job anyway, its a person saying "this job is pissing me off so I will leave it".

What I am interested in more is the conversation of....

"I am someone who regularly and consistently suffers from stress, whether I am doing this or doing that or living here or living there, stress is an issue......so what can I do about being less stressed".....

So what I was wondering was, if someone has made that decision.....then how did they go about it.....and did it work.....

I know the basic ways to address stress would be for example, cut out alcohol or coffee, exercise more, better time management, better organisation, meditation.....perhaps also there is anger management techniques, or an examination of one's personality to evaluate stress triggers......its the more esoteric end of this conversation that I'd be interested in.....


Again, I think everyone suffers from stress, some more so than others. Has anyone tried to tackle stress itself head on, rather than indirectly, and what did this involve.

username123

Generally speaking Ive always found that alleviating the source of the stress (is there is an obvious one) to be the best course of action, however, besides stating the obvious - sometimes either there is no obvious source, or, its not possible to get rid of that source.

So, then to tackle the stress itself. Exercise is my number 1 stress buster. I love to swim, it lets my mind go into that zen place where I just dont think about anything yet think about everything if you know what I mean - total mental relaxation. Running is the same, although something my brain doesnt shut down as completely (possibly because Im thinking about the running as I find it hard).

For some people it might be a hobby, playing a musical instrument, or something else. I find exercise works best for me because my mind can race with a stressful issue and exercise tires me so I can usually sleep better, which helps too.

we'llallhavetea

Have you tried counselling op? It kind of sounds like an anxiety disorder. Maybe a trip to your gp would be wise.

Tombo2001

aya startin wha wrote: »

Have you tried counselling op? It kind of sounds like an anxiety disorder. Maybe a trip to your gp would be wise.

Did try it once, years and years ago after a relative died, I did two or three sessions with a psychologist. I didnt find it that great, in particular the guy said to me "maybe I should put you on medication" and in he said it in a way that (I felt) was vaguely threatening......I think he said it after I disagreed with some point he made. Anyway, I felt it was uncalled for, I had been referred to him by a GP, but that wasnt what I was asking for. So I didnt go back. I don't think I would go back. My opinion of mental health treatment within the Irish medical system would be low and I know a few people who have been through the system with much more serious issues than this.

Anyways, again, I'm not really asking for a solution to my problems. I'm more interested in what others have done to alleviate stress.....if they have tried to tackle it as an issue head on. If you havent, then you havent.

Thanks anyway for reply.

Tombo2001

username123 wrote: »

So, then to tackle the stress itself. Exercise is my number 1 stress buster. I love to swim, it lets my mind go into that zen place where I just dont think about anything yet think about everything if you know what I mean - total mental relaxation. Running is the same, although something my brain doesnt shut down as completely (possibly because Im thinking about the running as I find it hard).

.

I completely agree, diet and exercise are the first ports of call.

Actually, I'm injured at the moment, normally I run a lot. You are right about swimming, it is the best way to clear the mind, all one can think of is finishing the length of the pool.

Semele

Tombo2001 wrote: »

Anyways, again, I'm not really asking for a solution to my problems. I'm more interested in what others have done to alleviate stress.....if they have tried to tackle it as an issue head on. If you havent, then you havent.

This is something that I'm really interested in, both on a professional and personal level. Have you looked into Mindfulness at all? It's an approach originally used in Buddhism but which has gained a lot of interest from psychology due to great evidence showing its benefits for alleviating stress and depression and generally increasing your sense of wellbeing. The versions of it used as psychological approaches are things like Mindfulness-based Cognitive Therapy (MBCT) and Acceptance and Committment Therapy (ACT). Worth wiki-ing if you want to know more.

Basically all of the approaches are to do with learning to really be present in your body and in what you are feeling (there is a meditation component to this, but it can be as informal as training yourelf into the habit of stepping back from situations and taking a minute to reflect on how you feel). In the modern world we are so often in a rush, trying to manage the demands on our time, mentally living in the past (regrets etc) or in the future (stressing over things we have to do etc) and manage to neglect where we are and who we are at this very moment. All these approaches are about learning to be in the moment, to become aware of our feelings and thoughts as they naturally come and go without trying to push them away/change them/repress them. I've been trying it for a few weeks and it has been great so far! If you're interested, a few books that are great (more on the psych rather than spiritual side though) are this and this

Meditation is certainly one way to tackle the problem. If you are not into all the woo and nonsense that normally surrounds things like meditation then check out "Vipassana" meditation which is about as secular and woo free as it gets. It is called "Mindfullness Meditation" and stress is one of the very things it is targetted at. I would recommend books by Jon Kabat-Zinn like "Wherever you go, there you are" "Mindfullness for Beginners" or "Full Catastrophe Living: Using the Wisdom of Your Body and Mind to Face Stress, Pain, and Illness".

I teach a class here in Maynooth, free, in it. Class is full and I have "real people", students from the college, Seminary Students and one actual real live priest in my class. So all very fun and they have been reporting to me that it has helped them with everything from stress to alcohol addiction and even grief.

Other ways I deal with stress are to make time for myself. As I am prone to stress the projects I do for myself tend to be rather extreme. I built a small house on my land single handedly, learning all about wiring and plumbing as I went. And a Jacussi. And a Herb and Vegetable garden. And I am currently reading about making tree houses. But your own projects need not be so extreme! Just find something you like doing and get good results from that make you feel good.

Another great trick with stress, when you are running around thinking "I have to get X and Y done FAST" for example, is to just stop. Sit down. 10 minutes. And realise that the world does not end if you do not get everything done in seconds. You get up after that 10 minutes and its still all ok. After a lot of times doing that it starts to change you.

Eating and cooking is another huge one for me. When the gfs decided they wanted to start on children and stuff I decided to move to much healthier living. Hence the veg and herb garden. I slowly got into cooking and got much better at it. Now cooking itself has become an outlet and hobby for me. But also the new healthier eating... almost processed food free entirely in many ways... also has benefits on stress and your energy for dealing with it.

Like you I try to get involved in sports too. Capoeira is my main physical outlet. I also own a large wolf so I get up early in the morning and run with him for an hour. Then after work in the evening I tend to fast cycle for an hour to let him sprint alongside. Occasionally, among all the stuff I have just listed, I also find time to walk or run parts of the "Wicklow Way". Sometimes getting out of cities and towns and into a place with not a sight of humanity for miles around is a great killer of stress.

All of the above works. I do a lot as you can see. Not a spare moment all things considered. We even ditched our television because there was just no time left in life for it. But your own solutions need not be so extreme and time consuming. The trick however is not to try and change yourself over night. You will likely fail and stress even more over it. People who try to make sea changes over night tend to fail and suffer for it in terms of stress and confidence.

INSTEAD list for yourself what your goals are. X amount of hours excercising. X doing a hobby. X cooking. X whatever. And work towards them at the slowest pace you can. For example take excercise. Someone should not go from 0 minutes to 120 minutes over night. They will give up. Instead do 1 minute TODAY. Not tomorrow, not next monday, not new years day. Today.

Not more than a single minute. Then do 2 the next day. Then 3 the next. Its a very very slow path to where you want to be but suddenly after 3 months you are doing 90 minutes of excercise a day. Take the same approach into any life change you work on.

Any questions or responses to any of this do not hesitate to drop in the thread and I will do my best to answer.

Dermighty

I exercise twice a day at least 4 days a week, most weeks I'll exercise at least ten times (intensely for 40 minutes or more each time).

I find it really helps a lot, helps me to relax more, enjoy food more and enjoy sleep more.

I recently (a week ago) started running, I can feel the difference that has made already! I feel so relaxed all the time, and I can honestly say that was not always the case!

saa

I have destructive and nurturing ways of relieving stress. The best way I avoid it is to put the effort in to develop a good state of mind through educating myself about the mind and self with meditation. Reminding myself that everything is under control, if im stressed in a situation that should not be as stressful as im experiencing it as I have gone into my childlike state and I'm just scared.

Sure there is drinking, comfort eating and lying in bed all day but then I feel shiite after those so in the moment it feels easier and like it alleviates stress but it perpetuates it, now drinking, comfort eating and lying in bed all day once in a while in healthy doses isnt so bad just not on a daily or weekly basis.

Meeting up with friends relieves most of my stress or a good gig but theyre not always an option so those well being tools help me big time.


Nice cuppa as well!

Tombo2001

Thanks for all the answers folks, won't comment on individual points as there an awful lot there, but its very interesting. Food for thought.

banquo

I used to suffer very badly from stress, and I rejected most of the advice that people always trot out I.e. diet, exercise, meditation.

Gave running a go. After three days of running a bit (had never done it before) I felt amazing. It really, really just poofs away all the stress and you feel normal again. Definitely give it a go.

The second thing I tried was meditation. Though I had an Eric Cartman attitude to this stuff before, words cannot describe how fantastic it is for stress. There's a book called Full Catastrophe Living that I tried out. It comes with exercises. It was like Cillit Bang for stress.

My recommendations anyway, best of luck!

qrrgprgua

I have a lot of Stress at work. I find taking a week off and going somewhere,(hiking) helps me. I did a hike in Greece in 2011 and Spain(camino de santiago) this year.

I also run and cycle.

I also never take a phone on holidays or a private one that only my wife has the number for....