Teens and nightclubs

samina

I have a 17 year old who's friends go to nightclubs in town. They're the same age as her and are allowed to go. In my mind tells me she shouldn't be in town at all hours at her age full stop regardless of the reason. On the other hand friends are allowed and if I'm honest I did it.
Anyway am too strict I'd really like other peoples opinions?

FANTAPANTS

you done it let them enjoy it before they have money worries job worries etc!!!!

liliq

It really depends on your daughter I think.
If she's sensible enough, I'd let her go. If she's a bit careless, I'd let her wait until she's 18.
I was out in town in nightclubs at 15 and 16, but apparently I looked older and had a bit of an old head on me for my age anyway, so I got away with it.
My step sister is only just 18 and has been out in nightclubs for over a year without any hassle.

iguana

Honestly I think you are too strict. She's 17, it won't be all that long until she is legally an adult. Long-term it will serve your relationship better if you start giving her leeway now when you don't 'have' to rather than waiting until she is in a position to ignore your opinion. It sets the ground for an adult to adult relationship of mutual respect and friendship rather than you being a authoritarian whose opinion should only be listened to until she no longer has to. My suggestion is that you have a chat with her and tell her you are happy to give her more adult 'rights' if she is happy to take on more adult 'responsibilities.' So she can go to nightclubs with her friends on the condition that she take over responsibility for a particular household chore. As long as she keeps doing the chore properly she retains the right to go to nightclubs but if she doesn't do it then she loses the right to go clubbing.

Also if she is still in secondary school you need to make sure different rules apply during the school year and those rules are conditional on her school work.

echo beach

The key thing is how is she going to get there and, more important how is she going to get home. 'I couldn't get a taxi,' is a favourite excuse for getting home hours after the agreed time.
Only allow lifts with people you know, who have a full licence and who don't drink or show-off when driving. Let her know that if something does go wrong, her friends go off and leave her or whatever, that she can ring you at ANY time and that she must stay with security staff until you collect her.
You can't keep her away from nightclubs, if you succeed this year she will go next year, so make sure she is safe, and the biggest danger is not in the clubs it is on the roads afterwards.

deisemum

I think you're being too strict and it's a case of do as I say and not as I did.

I agree with the previous advice and I think it's better for all concerned if she's given some privilages so she can gain maturity but it also shows her that with privilages come responsibilities.