Writing dialogue

HalloweenJack

I'm currently working on something that's dialogue-heavy but I don't think it would work if I wrote it as a straight play.

However, I've noticed that when I'm writing the long dialogue pieces, I rarely use "he said" or "she said", etc. I think it's clear enough from the scenario who is talking and who is responding. When the dialogue shifts to another (third or fourth) character, I then use "so-and-so said" or something along those lines.

I know I've read books where this happens. As I was typing this, I just flicked to a random page in a James Ellroy book and sure enough, this kind of thing was there. I just feel like I may be pushing it to an extreme but, at the same time, I feel I would be needlessly putting in "he said", etc., if I did it more and might break up the flow.

Any opinions or advice?

pickarooney

HalloweenJack wrote: »

I'm currently working on something that's dialogue-heavy but I don't think it would work if I wrote it as a straight play.

However, I've noticed that when I'm writing the long dialogue pieces, I rarely use "he said" or "she said", etc. I think it's clear enough from the scenario who is talking and who is responding. When the dialogue shifts to another (third or fourth) character, I then use "so-and-so said" or something along those lines.

I know I've read books where this happens. As I was typing this, I just flicked to a random page in a James Ellroy book and sure enough, this kind of thing was there. I just feel like I may be pushing it to an extreme but, at the same time, I feel I would be needlessly putting in "he said", etc., if I did it more and might break up the flow.

Any opinions or advice?

After the first couple of lines it's unnecessary. The characters should take turns and even if they don't it should be obvious from the content who is who.

Das Kitty

As long as it's clear who's talking, avoid speech-tagging where at all possible.

And don't use a whole load of 'saidisms' if it can be avoided (your murmured, queried, exclaimed, etc.)

Sometimes a tidy method is to have the character perform some action or gesture immediately before or after the dialogue.

Mix it up, would be my advice.

pickarooney

Das Kitty wrote: »

Sometimes a tidy method is to have the character perform some action or gesture immediately before or after the dialogue.

Be very careful with this - doing it too often can make a passage unreadable so only add this kind of thing in if it's strictly necessary. Personally, I would say only if there is a marked pause in the dialogue.

Das Kitty

pickarooney wrote: »

Be very careful with this - doing it too often can make a passage unreadable so only add this kind of thing in if it's strictly necessary. Personally, I would say only if there is a marked pause in the dialogue.

Which is normally when ambiguity arises.

echo beach

A lot of dialogue without a few 'he said' or 'she said' can be hard to follow, especially if the characters, say members of the same family, have a similar style of speech.

It can be useful if the speaker sometimes puts in the name of the person they are talking to,
e.g 'Are you listening to me, Mary?'
' I would listen to you Jack if you ever said anything important.'

ahayzer42

Is it vital that the dialogue be written directly? You could write some of it indirectly which is what I try to do if it's becoming too long.

If it's related to something you've said already then the reader will know if you shorten it down to: jack explained the situation with joe, or whatever and you can elaborate a bit on it.

The other thing I do, if I have a long patch of dialogue is break it up with maybe a paragraph of action or thought. Say, your character is trying to talk the other into doing something, not a great example but anyway, break the dialogue with a paragraph of Jack thinking through the idea in his head or remembering a similar occasion or whatever. It delves into the character a bit more as well I find.

DublinWriter

Both James Joyce and Roddy Doyle use the same hypen-led quoteless convention for dialogue. It can be quite immediate and gripping, but confusing for the reader six lines in when trying to figure out who is saying what.

Antilles

I find the only time it causes a problem is when you're using short, snappy dialogue so every sixth word is "said". Apart from that, it's fine. If it's causing issues with the flow of your text, just add action around the dialogue to indicate who is talking:

Stuart aimed his slingshot at the ostrich and grimaced. "I can't believe the President is making me do this."

Dervla scowled at him. "Get on with it, will you? Marine One is waiting."

EileenG

echo beach wrote: »

It can be useful if the speaker sometimes puts in the name of the person they are talking to,
e.g 'Are you listening to me, Mary?'
' I would listen to you Jack if you ever said anything important.'

Be careful of this. About once per exchange is as often as you'll get away with this, or it sounds like a mini info-dump. Most people don't use names in general conversation, they say "you." not "you Name".