Maintenance payments / court orders that I can't afford to pay

347k

Hi folks
First post here !
I have a problem and I am looking to see if anyone has some much needed advise on their way around the following;
I'm separated three years now and all court orders are in place. Access is going well and the 2 kids are fine and getting on really well.
Here's the rub - i cant meet the existing mortgage, direct debits, loans etc that my ex wife and myself had in place before we split along side running my new life with my new partner and baby.
Quick overview of money - 55% of what I earn goes to my 'old life' and that's a court order. To pay my rent and live a modest 'new life' I am loosing around €300 to €450 per month since the baby was born and depending on when bills fall - just incase this makes any difference in separation....she was having affairs so this wasn't my choice

I need info on what might happen should I not pay the full maintenance. I'm not looking to avoid paying - ill pay my way but I'm paying for her phone, car, the works and cash but the kids don't seem to be seeing much of it though.

I'm really scared of what will happen if I don't pay up in full. I can't afford a solicitor because I'm hemoraging money each month AND I work for myself and have to keep my wages above what they should be to meet the payments to the ex - this will make the company bust in a matter of months !
If I went to the courts I'm sure they wouldn't believe me and can't afford legal advise so hope someone can enlighten / inspire me for free

Thanks for reading this long-winded thread !

daltonmd

Hi there, that is a tough place to be. Can I make one observation?

Are these 2 women and 3 children completely dependant on you?

Does your ex or current not work?

347k

daltonmd wrote: »

Hi there, that is a tough place to be. Can I make one observation?

Are these 2 women and 3 children completely dependant on you?

Does your ex or current not work?

Hi there
Yes. All three children are dependant on me. The ex has never worked and the 'current' is on maternity leave so very limited income

Like I say, I don't mind paying my way and looking after my two children i had with my ex - they are always a priority

I didn't mention this earlier but there has been no attempt from the ex to officially split - I presume this is for financial and security reasons

I went to 6 mediation sessions and she only turned up once and there is nothing I can do about it - and she knows
She knows the system inside out

daltonmd

347k wrote: »

Hi there
Yes. All three children are dependant on me. The ex has never worked and the 'current' is on maternity leave so very limited income

Like I say, I don't mind paying my way and looking after my two children i had with my ex - they are always a priority

I didn't mention this earlier but there has been no attempt from the ex to officially split - I presume this is for financial and security reasons

I went to 6 mediation sessions and she only turned up once and there is nothing I can do about it - and she knows
She knows the system inside out

Ah, but you have court orders in place? How did that happen? Is this an agreement with her?

aujopimur

If you can't afford a solicitor, apply for legal aid at your nearest Law Centre,
from there you can apply for an adjustment on your maintainance order.

347k

daltonmd wrote: »

Ah, but you have court orders in place? How did that happen? Is this an agreement with her?

Yes there are court orders in place. Long story short - she met someone planned the best way to 'get shut of me' and had it planned down to a tee. I hadn't even properly moved out before I was in court and getting the monthly lump sum and weekly maintenance slapped on me.
I was in such a state for the first while I didn't really know what was what and therefore just paid up
I then started to try to rebuild my life, get to see my kids and get a place to live. This took some time and at this point the money wasn't a massive issue in my head.......now it is
At present, the way things are, my life can't be rebuilt fully, I have no freedom and I am just going to work to pay for my old life - my 'new life', while not fancy, is getting me into debt.

347k

aujopimur wrote: »

If you can't afford a solicitor, apply for legal aid at your nearest Law Centre,
from there you can apply for an adjustment on your maintainance order.

Yeah. I hear ya. Legal aid is a no go, I earn over the limit. If I go for a variation of maintenance I have to represent myself and that fills me with dread

Abi

347k wrote: »

Hi folks
First post here !
I have a problem and I am looking to see if anyone has some much needed advise on their way around the following;
I'm separated three years now and all court orders are in place. Access is going well and the 2 kids are fine and getting on really well.
Here's the rub - i cant meet the existing mortgage, direct debits, loans etc that my ex wife and myself had in place before we split along side running my new life with my new partner and baby.
Quick overview of money - 55% of what I earn goes to my 'old life' and that's a court order. To pay my rent and live a modest 'new life' I am loosing around €300 to €450 per month since the baby was born and depending on when bills fall - just incase this makes any difference in separation....she was having affairs so this wasn't my choice

I need info on what might happen should I not pay the full maintenance. I'm not looking to avoid paying - ill pay my way but I'm paying for her phone, car, the works and cash but the kids don't seem to be seeing much of it though.

I'm really scared of what will happen if I don't pay up in full. I can't afford a solicitor because I'm hemoraging money each month AND I work for myself and have to keep my wages above what they should be to meet the payments to the ex - this will make the company bust in a matter of months !
If I went to the courts I'm sure they wouldn't believe me and can't afford legal advise so hope someone can enlighten / inspire me for free

Thanks for reading this long-winded thread !

Go back to your court office and advise them that you need to have your maintenance looked at again as your circumstances have changed. They will summons her back to court and you will both have to show what money you have coming in and going out. She's obviously not interested in reducing her payments by not showing up for mediation, and you can't survive like this either.

If she is on SW she can contact them and ask them to means test her again because she is likely to be on a reduced payment as you are giving her maintenance. If you cannot afford to pay as much as you have been, they will review her claim and possibly increase the amount she receives from them to balance it out.

347k

Abi wrote: »

Go back to your court office and advise them that you need to have your maintenance looked at again as your circumstances have changed. They will summons her back to court and you will both have to show what money you have coming in and going out. She's obviously not interested in reducing her payments by not showing up for mediation, and you can't survive like this either.

If she is on SW she can contact them and ask them to means test her again because she is likely to be on a reduced payment as you are giving her maintenance. If you cannot afford to pay as much as you have been, they will review her claim and possibly increase the amount she receives from them to balance it out.

Thanks. I'll try that

Has anyone done this without a solicitor ??

daltonmd

347k wrote: »

Yes there are court orders in place. Long story short - she met someone planned the best way to 'get shut of me' and had it planned down to a tee. I hadn't even properly moved out before I was in court and getting the monthly lump sum and weekly maintenance slapped on me.
I was in such a state for the first while I didn't really know what was what and therefore just paid up
I then started to try to rebuild my life, get to see my kids and get a place to live. This took some time and at this point the money wasn't a massive issue in my head.......now it is
At present, the way things are, my life can't be rebuilt fully, I have no freedom and I am just going to work to pay for my old life - my 'new life', while not fancy, is getting me into debt.

You need to get back to court and have this reviewed. From the court service website:

Can the amount of maintenance be changed/varied at any stage?

Where maintenance orders have been made through the courts either party can make an application to the court to have the amountof maintenance changed, if there has been a change in the financial circumstances of either party.
A change in the maintenance is usually called a 'variation'. A variation can be an increase or decrease in the amount. The party bringing the application for avariation must be able to show the court that there has been sufficient change in financial circumstances to warrant a change.
If there is an attachment of earnings order in place it will be necessary to apply to vary the attachment of earnings order if the amount of maintenance is changed.

aujopimur

347k wrote: »

Yeah. I hear ya. Legal aid is a no go, I earn over the limit. If I go for a variation of maintenance I have to represent myself and that fills me with dread

There's no income limit for LA, it's based on your ability/inability to pay.

347k

aujopimur wrote: »

There's no income limit for LA, it's based on your ability/inability to pay.

Now that's interesting. Thank you very much.
When I applied, over the phone, the person I was dealing with said that I was over the threshold but that she 'would send out the forms anyway'. I never got the forms

I'll follow that up again.

It's important for me to stress that I don't care how much she gets, I just need enough for me, my partner and baby. I'm not greedy and never have been.
I didn't think this would drag on for so long and drag me down so much. There's only one person prospering and it ISN'T me.

I am so fed up of this now I feel like just not paying anymore

Abi

347k wrote: »

Thanks. I'll try that

Has anyone done this without a solicitor ??

Plenty I'm sure, but it's advisable to get a solicitor because if she is on SW, she will be entitled to legal aid.

As aujopimur said, your entitlement to representation through them is means tested. Given the nature of what you've to return to court for, I'm sure they'll consider the fact that if you can barely scrape by on what you have, you'll be unable to pay for a solicitor by yourself.

As you begin to get this on the road, be sure that your ex doesn't start throwing in excuses as to why the children can't see you. If that kicks off, make sure you bring her back to court re the access, which may also be put into the same court date if needs be.

A father has a right to see his children just as the mother does. If you get your legal aid and this becomes an issue, there is a name for this I can't recall, but it basically means that one parent is alienating their children from another. Sorry to throw an even more negative swing on things OP, but the way I see it is, you're better off informed and ready to take action at all times. Sometimes these things do get messy, you're better off being as armed with info as you can be.

Moonbeam

I would apply for a divorce then negotiate the terms of the divorce and get it settled.

I would collect my day to day living expenses receipts and any record of harassment to.