Why don't people like me?

LegacyUser

People, in real life and online really just don't like me and I don't know why. I try to interact with other's but they never seem interested, in fact there cold silence sort of is a reply. I don't have any friends and my family don't really include me or like me. People seem drawn to be mean to me. I don't know why, I'm like a magnet for it, I be nice to them, really nice but it doesn't have any effect. Even people who appear to be usually nice or project an air of 'niceness' or 'bubbliness' don't do so to me. I really don't why and I'm getting sick of it. I really just want someone to be nice to me, or at least smile at me or want to talk to me.

Abdul Abulbul Amir

juper wrote: »

People, in real life and online really just don't like me and I don't know why. I try to interact with other's but they never seem interested, in fact there cold silence sort of is a reply. I don't have any friends and my family don't really include me or like me. People seem drawn to be mean to me. I don't know why, I'm like a magnet for it, I be nice to them, really nice but it doesn't have any effect. Even people who appear to be usually nice or project an air of 'niceness' or 'bubbliness' don't do so to me. I really don't why and I'm getting sick of it. I really just want someone to be nice to me, or at least smile at me or want to talk to me.

Exactly how are people mean to you? What was the last occasion when something like that happened?

HOS 1997

I think you need to work on your self confidence. Learn to like yourself and be less worried what other think of you.

I don't want to sound cliched but there are people out there who will like you for who you are, you may not have met them yet but don't stop trying or give up hope.

Oryx

How do you act with other people? Do you initiate conversations? Do you smile much? It could be that how you think you come across to others and how you actually come across are different things, particularly if you are naturally shy. You say you have no friends. Well friends don't appear fully formed out of nowhere. Friendship develops through meeting people with common interests via clubs, volunteering, hobbies or work. You need to get yourself out there and do stuff. Not to 'make friends' but to meet people and develop your social skills. Friendships will happen naturally out of that. Everyone does not hate you. They simply don't know you.

a fat guy

Could you give us an online example of this happening?

We won't be able to figure out who you are, since you're unregistered, and I have a sneaking feeling that you're just really sensitive...

If you'd like to overcome this obstacle, then I suggest doing the Myers Briggs personality test and reading the personal growth section for your type.

http://www.humanmetrics.com/cgi-win/jtypes1.htm

You'll be grand!

mikemac1

Maybe you a bit shy but people don't see that, they see you as a bit aloof and arrogant. Realy you're not arrogant at all, you're a lovely person but if I met you I might think you are very cold

You can't always depend on people to be friendly with you and invite you along to things
If you want to head to drinks after work don't wait for some enthusiastic person to beg you to come, invite yourself and you bring people along


You are worrying too much about what others think
And realy, most of the time people are not thinking about you at all, they have their own stuff to deal with


As for you being a bit of a target, well assholes and bullies didn't change the second they left school, they still exist and can be found in offices and workplaces around Ireland
If you're a bit quiet and shy you can become a target
Same way as you walk down the street the confident person gets no hassle but the person with the head down, shuffling along gets roared at by skangers. You look a target and they'll take you up on it

Work on your confidence OP, maybe some self defense training?

Lorna123

juper wrote: »

People, in real life and online really just don't like me and I don't know why. I try to interact with other's but they never seem interested, in fact there cold silence sort of is a reply. I don't have any friends and my family don't really include me or like me. People seem drawn to be mean to me. I don't know why, I'm like a magnet for it, I be nice to them, really nice but it doesn't have any effect. Even people who appear to be usually nice or project an air of 'niceness' or 'bubbliness' don't do so to me. I really don't why and I'm getting sick of it. I really just want someone to be nice to me, or at least smile at me or want to talk to me.

Just because others don't give you feedback all the time doesn't mean they are ignoring you, and this is especially true when online. People are usually looking out for themselves and won't take you under their wing. You have to be the one to do all the work. That is just how it is. Stop thinking that people don't like you, they probably have no feelings about you one way or the other until they get to know you. You won't get positive feedback from someone unless you do something to please them. Oftentimes people don't even respond to kindness. Just do what you have to do and forget about whether people like you or not. Smile a lot, that is a good start.

P.S. I like you