recent break up, but says he still loves me.

LegacyUser

My guy recently broke up with me. We were having a lot of pointless arguments and things were just getting out of hand. I went over during the week last week when I’d calmed down to talk about things. We talked about ourselves as individuals and as ourselves as a couple. I asked him would he get with someone new if the chance arose, and he said no, that he wants to work himself out and be with me. He says he still loves me, and that he misses me, but he doesn’t do anything about meeting up with me or anything. Some days I feel quite happy about the fact that he said he wants to work things out but then other days I just don’t believe him because I feel he should be making a bit more of an effort if he wants to get back with me.. Do you think maybe he just wants some time apart for the moment? Or do you think I’m being played by him? I just don’t know what to do. I love him, I want to spend my life with him, but I can’t wait around much longer for someone who doesn’t seem interested…

Lorna123

He wants a break so stay away from him, meaning no contact until he contacts you next. There is nothing stopping you from going out with your girlfriends and enjoying yourself in the meantime. You don't have to wait around for him. He will get in touch with you when the time is right and when he gets in touch with you it will all be more positive.

LegacyUser

I actually did the opposite. We both stayed texting each other, he did say he wanted to be with me, but that we needed a break, but i think i've messed up now. I'd do anything to make things right with him again, but i think i'm only pissing him off at this stage

snafuk35

confusedgal1 wrote: »

My guy recently broke up with me. We were having a lot of pointless arguments and things were just getting out of hand. I went over during the week last week when I’d calmed down to talk about things. We talked about ourselves as individuals and as ourselves as a couple. I asked him would he get with someone new if the chance arose, and he said no, that he wants to work himself out and be with me. He says he still loves me, and that he misses me, but he doesn’t do anything about meeting up with me or anything. Some days I feel quite happy about the fact that he said he wants to work things out but then other days I just don’t believe him because I feel he should be making a bit more of an effort if he wants to get back with me.. Do you think maybe he just wants some time apart for the moment? Or do you think I’m being played by him? I just don’t know what to do. I love him, I want to spend my life with him, but I can’t wait around much longer for someone who doesn’t seem interested…

Go with your instincts.
You were having pointless rows and things were getting out of hand.
If he says he doesn't want to be with anyone else and wants to work things out and you don't believe him because he isn't making an effort and you don't know if his just playing with you, then you are probably right.
You said you love him but you can't wait any longer.
Go with your gut.
If he turns tomorrow up and he's doing what he is supposed to do, then that's great.
If not then it should be over for good.
Life is too short.
Find yourself someone who will put in the work and ditch this fool.

dannyc31

imo i think he's just being the typical cowardly man. he's basically saying we need a break but i beleive with that break he's hoping that you'll go off the idea of you two getting back together. him telling you he still loves you is just making himself feel less bad about himself wanting to end things. he may still love you, but that doesnt mean he still wants to be with you.

i'd say you need to start the process of trying to get over this guy cause i'd say he could easily tag you along for months until he meets a new girl.

LegacyUser

dannyc31 wrote: »

imo i think he's just being the typical cowardly man. he's basically saying we need a break but i beleive with that break he's hoping that you'll go off the idea of you two getting back together. him telling you he still loves you is just making himself feel less bad about himself wanting to end things. he may still love you, but that doesnt mean he still wants to be with you.

i'd say you need to start the process of trying to get over this guy cause i'd say he could easily tag you along for months until he meets a new girl.

Do you think so? I mean he says he wants to try dating again, but that we should wait a few weeks just to get over the initial break up. I'm so confused. Reading answers like this almost convince me he is a bad guy, but then I can't help but hope he is telling me the truth when he says he still wants to be with me. I'd feel so stupid if I did wait around and he moved on, but I don't want to lose him, I don't know what to do

snafuk35

confusedgal1 wrote: »

Do you think so? I mean he says he wants to try dating again, but that we should wait a few weeks just to get over the initial break up. I'm so confused. Reading answers like this almost convince me he is a bad guy, but then I can't help but hope he is telling me the truth when he says he still wants to be with me. I'd feel so stupid if I did wait around and he moved on, but I don't want to lose him, I don't know what to do

That's just nuts.
If you want someone to actually have a serious relationship you shouldn't stand for that kind if rubbish.
Contact him right now and give him an either/or choice.
He either cops himself on right now and you are together like a proper couple or he can forget about it.
If he doesn't get the blunt hint then just say goodbye, good luck and have a nice day.

dannyc31

Do you think so? I mean he says he wants to try dating again, but that we should wait a few weeks just to get over the initial break up. I'm so confused. Reading answers like this almost convince me he is a bad guy, but then I can't help but hope he is telling me the truth when he says he still wants to be with me. I'd feel so stupid if I did wait around and he moved on, but I don't want to lose him, I don't know what to do

what? he wants to start dating again does he mean between you two? you know what that is code for. "i want my cake and eat it" starting off dating again means things being less serious so there is less pressure on him to make any sort of commitment to you. he's saying to you "i'd like to do the honeymoon period again with you cause i enjoy that part".

thats not good enough, you shouldnt take that **** off him. tell me was it you that called over to him to talk that time or did he call you over to the house to talk? if it was you doing the chasing i'd say its not looking good for him wanting to get things back on track.

play hard ball with him and tell him if he doesnt know what he wants to do in 3 or 4 weeks time then you're done. and this starting dating thing rubbish is a load of crap as i mentioned above.

how long have you been with him btw?

LegacyUser

Yeah, it was me who went over that time. Yeah, he said he wants to try start dating me again. His words are "we should take it slow and try build up to our old relationship". I admit that we did rush into things before, but even so, I just know that it's gonna be me making all the effort. I do try and pull away, I seriously do, it's just i miss talking to him so i text him. I think I know deep down that ye are all right, but I just want to wait, like I have been for a good while (even before we broke up) to see if he'll cop on and realise that he has a girl who loves him and wants to be with him, yet he's slowly losing me. I know my self respect needs to be higher, and if it was, i'd say fudge this shiz and move on, i just can't help but hold on, just in case..

snafuk35

confusedgal1 wrote: »

Yeah, it was me who went over that time. Yeah, he said he wants to try start dating me again. His words are "we should take it slow and try build up to our old relationship". I admit that we did rush into things before, but even so, I just know that it's gonna be me making all the effort. I do try and pull away, I seriously do, it's just i miss talking to him so i text him. I think I know deep down that ye are all right, but I just want to wait, like I have been for a good while (even before we broke up) to see if he'll cop on and realise that he has a girl who loves him and wants to be with him, yet he's slowly losing me. I know my self respect needs to be higher, and if it was, i'd say fudge this shiz and move on, i just can't help but hold on, just in case..

You already had a relationship and it has reached a point already.
Does he think this is a clock you can wind back and pretend what happened before never happened or was erased?
You shouldn't fall for this crap.

Hang on in case of what? Another rinse and repeat?

If you want your self-respect back, give him a choice:

(A) A serious relationship

or

(B) Feck off.

Matteroffact

confusedgal1 wrote: »

My guy recently broke up with me. We were having a lot of pointless arguments and things were just getting out of hand. I went over during the week last week when I’d calmed down to talk about things. We talked about ourselves as individuals and as ourselves as a couple. I asked him would he get with someone new if the chance arose, and he said no, that he wants to work himself out and be with me. He says he still loves me, and that he misses me, but he doesn’t do anything about meeting up with me or anything. Some days I feel quite happy about the fact that he said he wants to work things out but then other days I just don’t believe him because I feel he should be making a bit more of an effort if he wants to get back with me.. Do you think maybe he just wants some time apart for the moment? Or do you think I’m being played by him? I just don’t know what to do. I love him, I want to spend my life with him, but I can’t wait around much longer for someone who doesn’t seem interested…

First of all you need to give him time to sort out how he feels. Quit texting him and calling over to him. That is doing no good at all. You are panicking and that is just pushing him further away. If he loves you he will be back but let him come back to you. You putting pressure on him is not going to work. Time will sort this one out OP so give it time.