Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

whichisit

  • 16-07-2012 11:51pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Split up with my ex 3 years ago, went through all the motions, got out there, doing my own thing, all that. Still miss him heaps though (we dated for years). Went on a few dates but my heart really isn't in it, but maybe I just haven't met the right guy yet.
    Am I stuck in a rut emotionally or should we still be together? How do you know the difference.


Comments

  • #2
    SheFiend
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 362 ✭✭SheFiend


    Did you want to split up?


  • #3
    Piliger
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,741 ✭✭✭Piliger


    whichorwhich wrote: »
    Split up with my ex 3 years ago, went through all the motions, got out there, doing my own thing, all that. Still miss him heaps though (we dated for years). Went on a few dates but my heart really isn't in it, but maybe I just haven't met the right guy yet.
    Am I stuck in a rut emotionally or should we still be together? How do you know the difference.

    Hi OP. While you're here read back a few pages of threads and you'll find similar situations and a lot of good advice.

    Moving on is a very difficult thing after a long deep relationship. You are far far from alone in this.

    However 3 years is a long time and you really need to let go of this man in your heart. You need to tackle why you are hanging on to his memory ?

    Do you have secret dreams you might get together ? Are they really realistic ?

    If not you really need to let them go because until you do .. you will not be able to move on and when a great guy comes along you won't be in any condition to take advantage.

    Best of luck.


  • #4
    Ickle Magoo
    Closed Accounts Posts: 17,485 ✭✭✭✭Ickle Magoo


    whichorwhich wrote: »
    Am I stuck in a rut emotionally or should we still be together? How do you know the difference.

    I think the biggest tell-tale is that you both want to be in a relationship with each other...and is that relationship healthy for you both.

    You clearly split for a reason and it's perfectly possible to be in love with someone while knowing a relationship with them wouldn't be in your own best interests - which is a really hard place to be. It is a kind of grief process you have to go through when a meaningful relationship ends - and much like any other kind of grief, that is very individual and can take considerable time.

    It might be worth reminding yourself why the relationship ended and the boundaries you have/your partner had and what kind of relationship you/they want/ed that triggered the end of the relationship. It's easy to look back with the old rose-tinted specs and see a missed opportunity - it's sometimes worth exploring if that really is the case.

    All the very best.


Advertisement