Problem with a guy from college

LegacyUser

Hi guys going un reg here

Ok my problem is what i guy i go to college with

Ok the guy Q is a repeat student and is/was friends with a friend of mine who was in his class the year before so thats how we got chatting

Also the guy was very over weight this has a point which i will bring up later

Over the year i was his only friend in the year only person he set beside chat to and what not

I always invited him on nights out and anything me and the lads went anywhere and he always refused

Ok in class one they we where told about a project in which we had to do and i said ok i will do it with you anyway we ended up failing the project due to the fact the guy did no work what so ever for it we said that I will do this part and you will do that part. I had all my work done (Which was bad because i had no idea what the project was on about due to the fact over 4 weeks he never sent me on his work on the night before in which had notting to do with anything). As i was angry that i failed it but who wouldn't be i blame him on not giving me any work what so ever and your man was pissed at me over it.

Ok fast forward a week we had one more test to do in MS Access. In which i got 95% in the test thank god. Ok the guy needed help so i said i will help you but i am not going up to the college to show you as one its raining out and 2 i live 20 mins wuck from it. After a hour he txted me saying he was outside my place. Ok for 2 hours i showed him how to do the work and one of my outer friends also helped him. After we where done i told him i wont to stop somewhere and get something to eat in which we did and i ended up paying for his food as well because he had a face on him. He also failed that but that was his own flat as he never went to class.

Then during the exams the guy never spoke a word to me.

Then about 2 days later a got a mail on Facebook from a friend of his making fun of the way i dress my haircut, being skinny and thinking i am **** hot thinking i am great with girls and that i am gay. The min i read that i txt the guy and asked him to ask his friend what they hell was that about never said anything to him about what was in the massage . He replied with not my problem about what he made fun of what you ware and calling you gay.

I txted back again going really i am upset about this your my so called friend would you not do anything about it. I got a txt back saying you thinking your so great you dont no what hard times are rubbing everything you have into peoples faces (I dropped out of college do to bulling and had a nervous breakdown because of the bullying and i ended up working for nearly 9 months doing 40 hour weeks and making a very good wage) and thinking your great with woman because you are good looking. And that your skinny you always show off about it. And showing off with your great stuff you where with your gay shoes

I txted back saying what are you on about i never do anything to you in my life, I no hard times as my dad in the last 5 years nearly went bank rout opening up his new shop and that we had no money for 2 years because of it and that i enjoy my money as i work hard for it and buy my self nice things with it. And about girls and me being skinny i go wucking everywhere to keep fit and i only eat health foods as i wont to look after myself. With girls i do not sleep around i dont believe in one night stands i only wont a girlfriend. An

HE left me a voice mail after that Bit.ching me out of saying he will get his come back on me and so on.

Like i am still deeply upset over all of this as i was his only friend in the college year and i have no idea what made him go crazy on me over a stupid test.

What do you think i can do about this problem ? as i am still deeply upset over this i just dont wont to be facing him when i go back to college as i dont think i done anything wrong.

Sorry for the bad spelling as i have deslliexa

emilyjmc

To be honest he sounds very silly and immature. I think he's jealous of you. To him it must seem you have everything he doesn't - good looks, good at your college work, popular (if you are always the one trying to include him) and obviously have lot of get up and go if you managed to get a good paying job.
This is his problem not yours, and never mind his friend - who cares what they think? I've found that usually when people attack you and you havent done anything it's due to their own insecurities.
Best thing you can do is rise above it. Block the pair of them on facebook so you don't even have to think about getting nasty mails from either of them.
When you go back to college be polite and civil but don't get drawn into feeling sorry for him or having a row with him if he trys to upset you. Don't gossip to other people about his behavior as it'll only make you look bad.
If anyone asks why you aren't friends anymore tell them you just drifted apart... don't go bad-mouthing him or you will look just as bad.
Please don't worry yourself about this, go back to college and finish off your course it sounds like you will have no bother with it. There is nothing you can do about his bad behavior so try to ignore it as best you can - remember it's not about you or your fault, it's his own issues.
All the best

bfocusd

Have you met or know the person who posted the stuff online?
If he's not got any friends, id say he's either got a new mate and is putting you down to make himself seem more confident, as in, he doesn't need you, he's better stuff to be doing, making you out to be the looser or he's created the page himself to rile you up and get your attention, he could possibly be gay himself and in denial.

I know it's not nice to be saying, he was most likely left alone for a reason, maybe people in your class avoided him because of his attitude, someone could have past experience with him, he seems to have no social skills what so ever too.

Was the bullying you left over any way related? Also I hope you made a complaint, no one should be bullied into leaving, its your right to have an education

When you go back to college, don't allow fools to make your life miserable, if you do see him walk past with your head held high, eventually he will become frustrated that all of his hard work picking on you has failed and he will make a fool of himself. he thrives on attention even if it's for all the wrong reasons.

He's not going to be in your life forever, he's in your class, hang out with the people you were with and just enjoy college, it's one of the most fun times of your life don't let his petty attitude ruin it on you!

thefeatheredcat

He doesn't seem to have taken any responsibility in his failings in letting himself down for the project and the test but is instead projecting it on you and blaming you and effectively bullying you via the "friend" (I suspect is a bogus account?) and through his own actions.

He is out to make you feel bad for your own success due to jealously and insecurity.

You have nothing to feel bad about here; the problem is this guy's problem and own issues and has nothing to do with you. He sounds really bitter and sour about it all and you just happen to be a convenient target because you helped him and in his eyes it's apparently your fault he failed and is jealous that you did well and have done well for yourself and is looking to put you down.

I wouldn't just go to the length of blocking his profile, I'd report it. And I would keep a record of texts and voicemails and go to the Gardai if it continues.

LegacyUser

The bullying was no way related i was in a different college and the gay just keep on calling me gay, tried set my door on fire in my apparment ,attacked me. But in the end the Q who done the bullying came out as gay. I just a very unlucky person when it comes to meeting people

Like after nights out he used to ask me whats did you get up to. Got the shifted and a phone number i am delighted for myself maybe might get a girlfriend you never no. He always had a face on him and very bit.ch towards when i told him about any girl that i no.

This so called friend got a lot over the way i dress ( I wear super skinny jeans, REally fancy shirts and tees, Leather jackets, and stylish boots all the time i like to think i am in some indie band in the way i dress) my haircut and everything and on my Facebook you can't see any of my photos unless your friends with me i just found it so random to get a massage like that from i person i dont even no.

With the jealously and insecurity you might be right. But this guy has a better laptop and car then me so i dont no how he get jealous about that. The insecurity might be his wight and that he see me as some one who's skinny and looks after him self and wishes to be someone like me.

Also i was seeing a counselor over what happen to me before i she made me for conadint in my self with chatting away to people and that to never put your self down for anyone.

HE lived with a girl i used to joke to him about for being hot which she was and i asked for him try set me up and he came out with a 10000 reasons he can't and crap like that. But one of my outer friends asked me to set him up with the girl i lived with and i was ok come up and see what she says when try and chat her up. I think the reason he refused to set me up was that i think he is gay and and wonted me i no it might be a stupid thing to say but when you look back at it all adds up kind of.

I just seen to met people like that in my life. I have a great group of friends who all like me and are always happy to do stuff with me and go out and go places. But this guy i just dont get he reminds me a lot about the guy who give me crap in the last college over him trying to deal with being gay.

bfocusd

All you can do is be yourself, if they throw any abuse at you, brush it off your shoulders, its not worth dwelling over, I've had similar situations like you and I was even doubting myself, sometimes I still do because of people's attitude towards me.

Lots of people have issues they don't even realise they carry around daily and degrade others because they feel superior, but they cant understand why they aren't as popular or confident.

I would go back to college, keep away from the guy and be polite if necessary, be civil I suppose, if he continues to bully of make an official complaint, no need to say anything to him, or get into a confrontation, just walk away and let the college put him into his place.

edellc

Dude the guy is just suffering from his own insecurities and instead of doing something about them he is taking it out on you, or to put it nicely being a complete bitch

Delete him as a friend on FB and next time you have the displeasure of bumping into him just ignore him and rise above, you take care of yourself, so what most people do these days we are not living in the stone ages so just move on and leave him to his pathetic life

On a side note, your in college and say your doing very well, well I beg to differ if your spelling is anything to go by, if you want to get a job after college make sure you can spell, employers hate spelling errors and there is really no need for it your laptop has a spell check so if you cant spell, use it.

bfocusd

edellc wrote: »

On a side note, your in college and say your doing very well, well I beg to differ if your spelling is anything to go by, if you want to get a job after college make sure you can spell, employers hate spelling errors and there is really no need for it your laptop has a spell check so if you cant spell, use it.

No offence edellc, I think you mean well, but he did state that he's dyslexic, not every job revolves around perfect spelling, he may need basic computer skills as a mechanic or something.

LegacyUser

edellc wrote: »

Dude the guy is just suffering from his own insecurities and instead of doing something about them he is taking it out on you, or to put it nicely being a complete bitch

Delete him as a friend on FB and next time you have the displeasure of bumping into him just ignore him and rise above, you take care of yourself, so what most people do these days we are not living in the stone ages so just move on and leave him to his pathetic life

On a side note, your in college and say your doing very well, well I beg to differ if your spelling is anything to go by, if you want to get a job after college make sure you can spell, employers hate spelling errors and there is really no need for it your laptop has a spell check so if you cant spell, use it.

I think you guys are right about him having insecurities and he is taking them out of me. bfocusd i think you are right as well i am not going to even look at him but if he says something to me i will record it.

Have done that already was the 1st thing i done. I will just get on and move on because he will be the one lost in the class now.

The side note i have dyslexia and i can't help with my spellings they will not get any better but i still try and work on them as much as i can

Like i no everyone has there own problems after my nervous breakdown do to bullying that happened to me before i no my own problems and i dont hide from them you just have to get up in life and deal with them because there is not point hiding from them.

edellc

Didn't read he was dyslexic so apologies

However pc's have spell check so no need for bad spelling when typing up a cv and yes jobs may require other skills, but if an employer gets two cv's in and one is spelt correctly and one isn't then its the one spelt correctly that gets the call and the other one sees the end of the bin, that's just how it goes, rightly or wrongly.

gubbie

edellc wrote: »

Didn't read he was dyslexic so apologies

However pc's have spell check so no need for bad spelling when typing up a cv and yes jobs may require other skills, but if an employer gets two cv's in and one is spelt correctly and one isn't then its the one spelt correctly that gets the call and the other one sees the end of the bin, that's just how it goes, rightly or wrongly.

Dragging this topic into "You should be able to use a spellchecker on a computer" is frankly, making you sound like... actually, probably shouldn't say since it'll get me banned! My point is, this topic isn't a self help for a dyslexic person to get a job. He clearly is well able to do that himself. He could also just be using a phone.

I think the best thing you can do is distance yourself from the person. I think he's jealous as he sees your success in college and with others and has taken the choice to mock you rather then dealing with his own problems.

Problem with a guy from college

Problem with a guy from college wrote: »

Ok in class one they we where told about a project in which we had to do and i said ok i will do it with you anyway we ended up failing the project due to the fact the guy did no work what so ever for it we said that I will do this part and you will do that part. I had all my work done (Which was bad because i had no idea what the project was on about due to the fact over 4 weeks he never sent me on his work on the night before in which had notting to do with anything). As i was angry that i failed it but who wouldn't be i blame him on not giving me any work what so ever and your man was pissed at me over it.

I did pretty much 6 years of a business computing/web development course and had to do a lot of group projects, which went from 2-6 people. The sad thing about these is that you're sometimes going to be stuck with people that are that lazy. In future, it might be worth contacting your lecturer and informing them that that person isn't pulling their weight. Previously lecturers have actually advised us to do this; it will likely be kept fully confidential. And might help them assess your marks correctly.

Ok fast forward a week we had one more test to do in MS Access. In which i got 95% in the test thank god. Ok the guy needed help so i said i will help you but i am not going up to the college to show you as one its raining out and 2 i live 20 mins wuck from it. After a hour he txted me saying he was outside my place. Ok for 2 hours i showed him how to do the work and one of my outer friends also helped him. After we where done i told him i wont to stop somewhere and get something to eat in which we did and i ended up paying for his food as well because he had a face on him. He also failed that but that was his own flat as he never went to class.

Honestly this guy is beginning to sound like a deadweight and that he has a lot of growing up to do. The sheer fact that he made a face and you paid for his food - if it were me or any of my friends, we'd just tell them to f*ck off (pardon the profanity, mods, no offense intended) - they're an adult and should be treated as such.

Then during the exams the guy never spoke a word to me.

Then about 2 days later a got a mail on Facebook from a friend of his making fun of the way i dress my haircut, being skinny and thinking i am **** hot thinking i am great with girls and that i am gay. The min i read that i txt the guy and asked him to ask his friend what they hell was that about never said anything to him about what was in the massage . He replied with not my problem about what he made fun of what you ware and calling you gay.

I txted back again going really i am upset about this your my so called friend would you not do anything about it. I got a txt back saying you thinking your so great you dont no what hard times are rubbing everything you have into peoples faces (I dropped out of college do to bulling and had a nervous breakdown because of the bullying and i ended up working for nearly 9 months doing 40 hour weeks and making a very good wage) and thinking your great with woman because you are good looking. And that your skinny you always show off about it. And showing off with your great stuff you where with your gay shoes

I txted back saying what are you on about i never do anything to you in my life, I no hard times as my dad in the last 5 years nearly went bank rout opening up his new shop and that we had no money for 2 years because of it and that i enjoy my money as i work hard for it and buy my self nice things with it. And about girls and me being skinny i go wucking everywhere to keep fit and i only eat health foods as i wont to look after myself. With girls i do not sleep around i dont believe in one night stands i only wont a girlfriend. An

HE left me a voice mail after that Bit.ching me out of saying he will get his come back on me and so on.

Christ. He sounds like he has massive self esteem issues and personal views of himself, so he is latching on to you with all the negative aspects; it sounds like you are what he is not and he wants you to feel bad for it.
Don't.
You should be glad with what you are and who you are. Don't let some jackass phase you like that. He just doesn't sound like a nice person at all.

Like i am still deeply upset over all of this as i was his only friend in the college year and i have no idea what made him go crazy on me over a stupid test.

What do you think i can do about this problem ? as i am still deeply upset over this i just dont wont to be facing him when i go back to college as i dont think i done anything wrong.

Sorry for the bad spelling as i have deslliexa

Honestly, you don't have to do anything. Is this guy someone you know personally, from either your hometown or elsewhere, or is he someone you know just through college? If he's someone you just know through college, it genuinely doesn't sound like he'll last very long, especially if he keeps failing things like he is.

If it turns out that he is going to stay, confront him about it in person; it sounds like he's resorting to text messages, Facebook and voicemails because it's easier than saying it to the person's face.

With regards to your dyslexia, I hope you've let your college know about this?

mikemac1

As said already this guy is full of insecurities

He sees you doing well, confident, chatting to girls, good worker and instead of him dragging himself up he is going to drag you down to his level

Might be harsh to say but he is a loser and he probably knows it.
The class see something in him since they avoid him and you don't

He'll leach you OP, he leached off you in the project, leached your money for food and more

I suspect this facebook account was actually himself setting up a fake account and the friend doesn't actually exist

Cut him like a dead-weight

Be civil for sure but no need to sit with the guy or ever do project work with him again

Ickle Magoo

edellec taking a two week holiday for learning nothing from their last vacation.

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ibarelycare

Yeah OP, it sounds like that guy just made up a fake FB account and sent you that message himself. Ignore him, you obviously have a lot going for you and you're doing well in various aspects of your life. Fair play to you. Some people are just twisted and bitter and do themselves no favours.

If you get any further messages like that on FB from "friends" of his, or messages from unknown phone numbers or anything, just ignore them because it's highly likely they're all coming from him.

You've made an effort to extend the hand of friendship, you've helped him with his college work and tried to get him on nights out. You sound like a really really nice person, so please don't let this guy make you feel bad. Don't waste your time with him any more.

Abdul Abulbul Amir

The guy's a nutcase, you're nothing but helpful and he treats you that way. He has serious problems. I don't know if he'll even be around again next year if he's such a bad student, and he's already repeated once, he may just drop out. From the sounds of it he should drop out, he's not taking college seriously.

My advice: think about the situation, realise how he's mistreated you, and get angry about it. That'll help you cut him off and not take his crap seriously.

LegacyUser

I have have being having a long and hard think about and you guys are right i have removed him on Facebook

I will stay away from him dont worry about that because i just hate any kind of fighting with people and i just find people who are bitter out my positive outlook of life

Thanks guys for your help about all of this

Still i remember the day i handed in that project he came over to me full on in my face and asked why are thick with me.
I was like yes because you done no work what so ever and i worked must of the trying to have some kind of work to hand in tomorrow so we will pass.
He went of with a face on him after i told him that

My outer friends asked what has his problem

But i will not be upset about something as stupid as this and i well move on and enjoy my next 3 years in college

snafuk35

Problem with a guy from college wrote: »

Hi guys going un reg here

Ok my problem is what i guy i go to college with

Ok the guy Q is a repeat student and is/was friends with a friend of mine who was in his class the year before so thats how we got chatting

Also the guy was very over weight this has a point which i will bring up later

Over the year i was his only friend in the year only person he set beside chat to and what not

I always invited him on nights out and anything me and the lads went anywhere and he always refused

Ok in class one they we where told about a project in which we had to do and i said ok i will do it with you anyway we ended up failing the project due to the fact the guy did no work what so ever for it we said that I will do this part and you will do that part. I had all my work done (Which was bad because i had no idea what the project was on about due to the fact over 4 weeks he never sent me on his work on the night before in which had notting to do with anything). As i was angry that i failed it but who wouldn't be i blame him on not giving me any work what so ever and your man was pissed at me over it.

Ok fast forward a week we had one more test to do in MS Access. In which i got 95% in the test thank god. Ok the guy needed help so i said i will help you but i am not going up to the college to show you as one its raining out and 2 i live 20 mins wuck from it. After a hour he txted me saying he was outside my place. Ok for 2 hours i showed him how to do the work and one of my outer friends also helped him. After we where done i told him i wont to stop somewhere and get something to eat in which we did and i ended up paying for his food as well because he had a face on him. He also failed that but that was his own flat as he never went to class.

Then during the exams the guy never spoke a word to me.

Then about 2 days later a got a mail on Facebook from a friend of his making fun of the way i dress my haircut, being skinny and thinking i am **** hot thinking i am great with girls and that i am gay. The min i read that i txt the guy and asked him to ask his friend what they hell was that about never said anything to him about what was in the massage . He replied with not my problem about what he made fun of what you ware and calling you gay.

I txted back again going really i am upset about this your my so called friend would you not do anything about it. I got a txt back saying you thinking your so great you dont no what hard times are rubbing everything you have into peoples faces (I dropped out of college do to bulling and had a nervous breakdown because of the bullying and i ended up working for nearly 9 months doing 40 hour weeks and making a very good wage) and thinking your great with woman because you are good looking. And that your skinny you always show off about it. And showing off with your great stuff you where with your gay shoes

I txted back saying what are you on about i never do anything to you in my life, I no hard times as my dad in the last 5 years nearly went bank rout opening up his new shop and that we had no money for 2 years because of it and that i enjoy my money as i work hard for it and buy my self nice things with it. And about girls and me being skinny i go wucking everywhere to keep fit and i only eat health foods as i wont to look after myself. With girls i do not sleep around i dont believe in one night stands i only wont a girlfriend. An

HE left me a voice mail after that Bit.ching me out of saying he will get his come back on me and so on.

Like i am still deeply upset over all of this as i was his only friend in the college year and i have no idea what made him go crazy on me over a stupid test.

What do you think i can do about this problem ? as i am still deeply upset over this i just dont wont to be facing him when i go back to college as i dont think i done anything wrong.

Sorry for the bad spelling as i have deslliexa

The guy is a sad git and he's jealous and he's a fool who should be thankful he got any help from you at all.

You are a great guy, work hard, keep fit, like to look after yourself, dress well and women like you. What do you have to apologise for?

I would wonder why this guy is calling you "gay." Even if you were gay why would that be something to be ashamed about?

He sounds like a homophobe too and in my experience a person is supposed to be straight but makes homophobic comments is probably gay themselves.

He's obviously mixed up and has problems. Don't have anything more to do with the fool.

snafuk35

Problem with a guy from college wrote: »

I have have being having a long and hard think about and you guys are right i have removed him on Facebook

I will stay away from him dont worry about that because i just hate any kind of fighting with people and i just find people who are bitter out my positive outlook of life

Thanks guys for your help about all of this

Still i remember the day i handed in that project he came over to me full on in my face and asked why are thick with me.
I was like yes because you done no work what so ever and i worked must of the trying to have some kind of work to hand in tomorrow so we will pass.
He went of with a face on him after i told him that

My outer friends asked what has his problem

But i will not be upset about something as stupid as this and i well move on and enjoy my next 3 years in college

Good man yourself.
The guy is a fool and loser.