It's been a while since we had a funny pet stories thread

girl in the striped socks

Now I know there is an animal & pet forum. But to be honest AH is funnier & has more people to offer up funny pet stories. And AH isn't as judgemental as A&P.

My dog was lying on my lap a few minutes ago & he decided to get down. As he stands up to get down he turned to look at me & proceeded to fart into my face. My vision is kinda blurred so apologies if there's spelling mistakes.

So, anyone have funny, weird, strange stories about their pets?

Sauve

I had a cat once. It's dead now.

Lawrence1895

My cats are still afraid of the rabbits

RaRaRasputin

Yep, pets and the joys they bring into our lives...

Some months ago me and my partner decided to leave the cat alone for one day, no longer than 24 hours. The only reason we had him inside rather than out was because the weather was really bad then. Anyway, he had plenty of food, treats hidden all over the house, his toys and his toilet which he always used before if he had to stay in.
Clearly this time he didn't agree with staying in, though he was happy enough when we got back home. Initial happiness ceased and turned into nervousness when I walked up the stairs, because he knew what I was about to discover. I am unsure how and why, but he had managed to **** all over the bathtub. It wasn't only the size of the **** (though I first wondered in shock if someone had broken in to have a dump in my tub), he also must have maneuvered his weight on the rim of the tub to ensure it slit down in a satisfactory manner. It took me ages to get that stuff out of the tub and the room seemed to smell for days on end...somehow I always check the bathroom now if we dared to lock him in for some hours.

No more hidden treats from now on..

WumBuster

And it hasnt been a while since Ive listen to someone go on about their goddam pets. Get a life!

Gummy Panda

Ha ha cats. Those furry little critters are great

steddyeddy

Like the one were the chimp ripped someones face off?

full_irish

WumBuster wrote: »

And it hasnt been a while since Ive listen to someone go on about their goddam pets. Get a life!

and I mean every word!

Medusa22

WumBuster wrote: »

And it hasnt been a while since Ive listen to someone go on about their goddam pets. Get a life!

Plenty of people bla bla about their children and I don't want to hear that either but it doesn't stop them. Nobody forced you to click on this thread.

I also have a cat and he is great, so are dogs! I had my cat spayed and he seemed to take his revenge out on my ex-boyfriend, as he often liked to jump from a height onto his balls Envy! Whenever he complained I had to point out that he probably saw something moving under the duvet...

mikemac1

We're close to the parish GAA field

The golden retriever robs like a tinker and is often down there snatching sliotars during training
Coming home so proud of himself


The club got a new stand from Lotto money and GAA grant and Tipp and Limerick came to play a challenge match.
TG4 there too to cover it

Runt of a dog ran on the pitch, stole the sliotar, ran around and delayed the game.
Shamed on national TV. :mad:


I didn't run on to get him, I disowned him, not my dog, nothing to do with me

Chucken

WumBuster wrote: »

And it hasnt been a while since Ive listen to someone go on about their goddam pets. Get a life!

Aw do you not have a pet.

full_irish

A few years back, I installed one of those 'invisible fences' where he gets shocked via collar to keep the dog (King Charles) in the garden and out from under the wheel of a car.

First time the dog wanders over to the fence, gets the inevitable shock... lets out a yelp and literally did a back-flip. I know I shouldn't have but had tears in my eyes I was laughing so much

girl in the striped socks

WumBuster wrote: »

And it hasnt been a while since Ive listen to someone go on about their goddam pets. Get a life!

Plenty of people have pets & this may shock you but they enjoy having them & get a laugh out of their antics.
Pets are fantastic.
Just remembered another one. Guards drive into the house to deliver a summons. As I was walking out the front door to them the dog, in his stealth like manner, tried to jump in the window the guard had just let down. It was beautifully timed, he appeared out of nowhere & managed to give the guard a slobbery kiss. He was gone around the back before the guard even knew what happened. Luckily he laughed it off, no more summons since though

368100

Springer spaniel got into the conservatory where I was painting and while I wasnt looking started drinking out of the bright green paint tin. All I remember is the mischievous face covered in green. Took her to the vet and after she drank lots of water all was well :-)

1ZRed

My cat used to go around the village and steal other cats kittens and then show up with 20 of them. She was a girl but we called it Oscar naturally.

Once a cat broke into the house and was found sitting happily on the toilet seat.

On other time the cat locked its self in the car for the day.

A heap of cats got up onto the roof of the house at night and started scratching at my sister's sky window. She got up and got the sh1te scared out of her.

And they all lived happily in a green barrel which we effectionally called "the green thing".

Yes a lot of my stories involve cats but we go through them like shoes.

Edit, I'm reminiscing now and remembering a few more stories. No cats thankfully.

In the summer time when I was younger and at the beach when the Irish students are around, the dog would take off and proceed to reek havoc and burst balls, steal sliotar, knock down little kids, steel their spades (buckets given the chance) and then roll around on their sand castles (while covered in seaweed) , eat jellyfish and then throw up everywhere and at one point the dog stole an American tourist's kite and sprinted around the beach with it unable to be caught.

Man I miss that dog. We had some good Marley and Me moments together!:)

Smidge

Has anyone seen the youtube clip with the Labrador dreaming and then runs into the wall?

My dog dreams like nobodies business, pretty funny to watch.










Doesn't run into walls as not stupid;)

woodoo

WumBuster wrote: »

And it hasnt been a while since Ive listen to someone go on about their goddam pets. Get a life!

Who forced you to read this thread.

TheBegotten

Our mutt goes mad at anyone over the age of 13 walking past our house. Also buggies with rattly wheels, German Sheps, the occasional tractor (though he's stopped that now, thankfully), trailers, and cats on the wall. Everywhere else he's the nicest, friendliest, most playful dog you could ever hope to meet, especially with kids. But he's as territorial as hell.

Dartz

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ubf28LPnfYs

This makes my dog go ****ing nuts. Even just hearing it makes the **** go wild.

cruais

My parents cat was diagnosed with depression! :eek:

salsagal

we 'inherited' a dog called Rafferty.. he looked like a seal on short stumpy legs, with the colourings of a dalmation.

So he first started coming home with tennis balls, (it was in the days when it was ok to let dogs out around the neighbourhood without a leash) then it was an action man, then one day he brought home a wellington, the right one...we joked about wanting the match...but lo and behold he came home with the match!

Then it escalated to a box of 6 eggs, and a stick of butter, finally a frozen chicken! It was when the milkman mentioned to my mum that some of his customers were missing their deliveries, that we realised WHERE he was stealing the stuff from!

At one point we had a collection of 43 tennis balls...Thanks Rafferty! RIP.

--LOS--

I got kittens a few weeks ago, one of them sucks on my boyfriends ear, his eyebrow, basically anything it can get hold of, it's funny but slightly unnerving Love it when they ambush each other when coming back from going to the toilet, one of them will jump out from around the corner while the other one leaps a foot into the air. One of them is kinda ginger/black/white and it's paw looks like an icecream cone coz there is a pale triangular ginger bit leading up to its white toes, always gives me a giggle when its licking its paw then, as if it's licking an icecream cone :pac:

Ficheall

Which of these stories are supposed to be funny?

girl in the striped socks

Ficheall wrote: »

Which of these stories are supposed to be funny?

Not an animal person?

Ficheall

That must be it.

meoklmrk91

A buddy of mine was staying over for the few nights and my animals decided to give them a warm welcome.

They woke up in the middle of the night and thought they were paralysed as they couldn't move their legs, flipped back the covers and there is the nearly 30KG dog asleep on their legs.

One of the cats also pissed on them while they were asleep a few days later. Oh how I laughed.

--LOS--

Ficheall wrote: »

Which of these stories are supposed to be funny?

you really need to rub a cat, it's awesome

KKkitty

Had a dog called Freddie growing up. He barked in his sleep and made running movements too. Used to wonder what he was dreaming about. My mam had a cat who could open the back door from the outside and inside. The cat was given the dear deli ham as a treat at the start but soon turned up its nose at normal cat food and clawed at the fridge for the ham instead. Another cat used to lick peoples hair.

DEFTLEFTHAND

My little innocent kitten is a cold blooded murderer. My older cat has taken him under his wing and the two hunt together now. I think cats become members of their own feline Mafia. They really are brutal creatures when you look at them, murder is part of their daily routine and no moggy questions it.

dodderangler

My Akita does wake himself up when he farts and he looks at me then as if to say
'eh was that you or me?'
Pets are great

flyswatter

Was holding one of my cats before I was about to leave for school. She shat all over my PE uniform.

cruais

Ficheall wrote: »

Which of these stories are supposed to be funny?

Oh look it's mr/ms personality here..

Squaredude

My german shepherd can now open all the doors in the house,has a knack for hitting people in the balls and recently outwitted a friend and stole his sandwich.He also occasionally howls as loud as he can while he's asleep which is quite unnerving.

DEFTLEFTHAND

Squaredude wrote: »

My german shepherd can now open all the doors in the house,has a knack for hitting people in the balls and recently outwitted a friend and stole his sandwich.He also occasionally howls as loud as he can while he's asleep which is quite unnerving.

Beautiful animals. A work college colleague of mine has one, she's intimidating to look at, about six foot when she stands upright but is a total doll personality wise.

steddyeddy

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Beautiful animals. A work college colleague of mine has one, she's intimidating to look at, about six foot when she stands upright but is a total doll personality wise.

I dont like them unfortuantly but its probrably all in my head. A mate of mine worked with chimps and doesnt think their dangerous either.

Squaredude

DEFTLEFTHAND wrote: »

Beautiful animals. A work college colleague of mine has one, she's intimidating to look at, about six foot when she stands upright but is a total doll personality wise.

yeah you don't realise how big they actually are till they stand upright.great dogs though.
Like butter wouldn't melt in his mouth

RaRaRasputin

steddyeddy wrote: »

I dont like them unfortuantly but its probrably all in my head. A mate of mine worked with chimps and doesnt think their dangerous either.

Zoo/wild animal <=> domesticated animal. Always a good comparison. Thank God for intelligent posters like you in this forum, what would we do without you.

Rubberlegs

Our German Shepherd is a complete pussy. She looks the part, but is terrified of lawnmowers, the hoover, bike engines etc. Nearly drove me mental yesterday jumping at the back door to get in, as everyone was taking advantage of the nice day, and cutting their grass. She wraps her paws around the back door handle, and lets herself into the house, but doesn't have the decency to shut it behind her:(. She also cowers at buses and tractors when we are out walking, such a wuss:o

steddyeddy

RaRaRasputin wrote: »

Zoo/wild animal <=> domesticated animal. Always a good comparison. Thank God for intelligent posters like you in this forum, what would we do without you.

I was on the wine Im afraid :S. My point is that I always take peoples claims that all types of a dog are safe.

Wacker The Attacker

I quite enjoyed putting a plastic bag over my dogs head and kicking it in the bollocks.

KilOit

My cat's breath smells like cat food

RaRaRasputin

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I quite enjoyed putting a plastic bag over my dogs head and kicking it in the bollocks.

If this was a joke it wasn't even close to funny. If it wasn't one I hope that your dog bites you where you kicked him

@steddyeddy
No worries, we've all been there (the wine)

FreeFallin94

My cat got his head stuck in an empty packet of crisps and went mental jumping around the room and shaking his head like crazy. He managed to jump onto the armchair and ended up falling off the armrest. Same cat was neutered and when he came back from the vet he was totally drugged out and was staggering in circles around the garden- brilliant! He also **** all over our bean bag and in a bag of potatoes :L God I miss that cat !

Lawrence1895

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I quite enjoyed putting a plastic bag over my dogs head and kicking it in the bollocks.

I would quite enjoy, if a Mod turns up with a yellow card for a post like this...

merengueca

Took my dog for a walk, let him off his lead on a near deserted field so he could have a run around. The other side of the field there was a man with his two kids flying a kite and with picnic.
The dog runs over to thie picnic, doesn't steal any food just pee'd all over their picnic.

I ran away quickly when the man ran after me giving out that 'your dog just pi55ed on my kids lunch'.