Calling first grandson after grandad??

littlemissteach

Hey,
I'm just wondering does this tradition still stand?
I am carrying a boy, and all going well, it will be the first grandchild on both sides, and therefore, first grandson.
Now my in laws have said the name is totally mine and hubbys choice, but my mom and granny are really insistent that I call the baby after Hubby's dad- thing is I don't like his name!!
Is this tradition still used a lot or is it fading out now?Then I was gonna give the baby the middle name of hubbys dad, but I really want to put MY grandad's name in the middle- so I really dunno what to do- Is there a particular rule regarding naming the first grandchild/son?!

Thanks a mill guys

The Big Red Button

Call him what you want to call him.

Why on earth would you give a baby a name that you don't even like?

No, there is no rule about what name you give any child, first grandson or not.

Joe10000

There is no rule but it was an old tradition to do this and a good one if you ask me but it's long since gone, call your baba whatever you want.

Mr Benevolent

My grandparents wanted me to have my grandfather's name 32 years ago and the tradition was near dead by then. They didn't get their way. The 'tradition' is utterly dead now.

allprops

If it's upsetting you, you could put it in as a third name. The tradition is dead though.

clappyhappy

He is your son name him what YOU BOTH like. As said before you could give him a middle name of said grandfather, or leave out both grandfathers completely in name. Enjoy your new arrival when he comes along, best of luck

the_syco

chatterpillar wrote: »

Why on earth would you give a baby a name that you don't even like?

Agreed. Put it in as their second name, or something.

In saying that, my name is [fathers fathers name] [mothers fathers name] [surname].

It's all down to what name you like, IMO, as you'll be calling them that for the next 1000 years

WhatNowForUs?

I think the tradition these days are to call your child what you want to call them. Middle name maybe would be nice.

Squiggler

It's your Mum and Granny who are pushing you to use your Father-in-law's name, not your OH's side of the family.

Call the baby what you want to call him. If baby is going to have your OH's surname then he's already carrying the flag for that side of the family, name-wise.

If we have a boy he's getting my maiden name (as firstname), my dad's firstname (as middle name) and hubby's surname. That was my husband's suggestion. My maiden name is also a boy's firstname and has some nice short version options.

littlemissteach

Squiggler wrote: »

It's your Mum and Granny who are pushing you to use your Father-in-law's name, not your OH's side of the family.

Call the baby what you want to call him. If baby is going to have your OH's surname then he's already carrying the flag for that side of the family, name-wise.

If we have a boy he's getting my maiden name (as firstname), my dad's firstname (as middle name) and hubby's surname. That was my husband's suggestion. My maiden name is also a boy's firstname and has some nice short version options.

That's what I feel too- its gonna have the surname from my hubby's side!Thanks everyone for all your replies, you've really put my mind at ease.The OH's parents are very easy going about it, they said don't listen to anyone because everyone will be telling you do this and do that...sure I had my mother tell me last night I just can't get a red buggy cos they look tacky....hello????Where did that come from!?

cch

The people I know who named their baby after someone specific did it mostly because the person had died and they wanted to honour them / keep their name alive. But they certainly didn't follow any specific rules.
Saying that it seems like your mother and grandmother are VERY traditional if they're insisting your child is called after someone not even from your side of the family!! They might let you away with this one on the basis of "fathers choice" but if/when you have a second child be sure they will try insist you name that one after a grandparent on your side.

littlemissteach

cch wrote: »

The people I know who named their baby after someone specific did it mostly because the person had died and they wanted to honour them / keep their name alive. But they certainly didn't follow any specific rules.
Saying that it seems like your mother and grandmother are VERY traditional if they're insisting your child is called after someone not even from your side of the family!! They might let you away with this one on the basis of "fathers choice" but if/when you have a second child be sure they will try insist you name that one after a grandparent on your side.

But that's the funny thing- I want to put my grandad(RIP)name as the middle name and my mam/gran are saying "noooo" put in hubbys dad's name instead....ugh....drama drama drama...does anyone else have people interfering like this?!Granny also said don't dare to buy anything for the baby until he's home...so how's he supposed to travel home in the car?and what he's gonna sleep in ??A box?!aargh!!

xzanti

littlemissteach wrote: »

my mom and granny are really insistent that I call the baby after Hubby's dad- thing is I don't like his name!!

They're chancing their arm... He's YOUR Son, call him what ever you want to call him..

I got that off my FIL when I was expecting.. "if it's a boy we must name him ****"..

Let me see, er........ NO!

Xdancer

It really annoys me when family think they can tell you what to name your child. Luckily no one in my family would be so rude, and my boyfriend's family were telling me what I couldn't call her.
We had a few names chosen, and she was going to be called what we wanted regardless of what anyone said. We kept the name to ourselves until she was born.

It's your baby, so you chose the name not anyone else.

Neyite

littlemissteach wrote: »

But that's the funny thing- I want to put my grandad(RIP)name as the middle name and my mam/gran are saying "noooo" put in hubbys dad's name instead....ugh....drama drama drama...does anyone else have people interfering like this?!Granny also said don't dare to buy anything for the baby until he's home...so how's he supposed to travel home in the car?and what he's gonna sleep in ??A box?!aargh!!

I'd advise keeping the name to yourselves until its inked on the birth cert in the hospital. If you start discussing names then inevitably someone will hate it/went to school with a horrible person with the name etc etc. Once its associated with your child, people will love it regardless.

We were lucky that both grandads shared the same middle name so we used that as a middle name for our son to honour them - but that was entirely our choice and a surprise to them when we did it.

With regard to the supposed bad luck of bringing baby stuff into the house before baby arrives - its so stupid! Do people really think that if something tragic happened to a pregnancy it was because the parents bought a fecking pram?? Its ridiculous, and mothers who suffer losses usually struggle with feelings that they did something wrong somehow anyway and this kind of nonsense exists only to compound their unwarranted guilt.

why not just present things as a done deal:
*shrug* "oh well, the buggy is bought now, and we threw the box away"
*shrug* "no, havent decided the name yet, will let you know when we do"
*shrug* "oh, well the cot is in the house now, might as well get the rest of it"

littlemissteach

Neyite wrote: »

I'd advise keeping the name to yourselves until its inked on the birth cert in the hospital. If you start discussing names then inevitably someone will hate it/went to school with a horrible person with the name etc etc. Once its associated with your child, people will love it regardless.

We were lucky that both grandads shared the same middle name so we used that as a middle name for our son to honour them - but that was entirely our choice and a surprise to them when we did it.

With regard to the supposed bad luck of bringing baby stuff into the house before baby arrives - its so stupid! Do people really think that if something tragic happened to a pregnancy it was because the parents bought a fecking pram?? Its ridiculous, and mothers who suffer losses usually struggle with feelings that they did something wrong somehow anyway and this kind of nonsense exists only to compound their unwarranted guilt.

why not just present things as a done deal:
*shrug* "oh well, the buggy is bought now, and we threw the box away"
*shrug* "no, havent decided the name yet, will let you know when we do"
*shrug* "oh, well the cot is in the house now, might as well get the rest of it"

Love it!!!Can I put you in contact with "my people"!!

xzanti

littlemissteach wrote: »

!Granny also said don't dare to buy anything for the baby until he's home...so how's he supposed to travel home in the car?and what he's gonna sleep in ??A box?!aargh!!

Yeah, my MIL didn't want us to buy anything until the baby arrived, how bloody impractical is that? We have 9 months to prepare ffs.. use it..

My family on the other hand are the total opposite.. my Mother and Sister took me pram shopping when I was only 25 weeks..

MIL refused to have any part in it as she thought it to be bad luck..

Horses for courses I guess but I wasn't having my baby coming home to sleep in a drawer

He was fully kitted out long before he arrived..

OU812

We decided before each of ours were born, that they were individuals & new lives & deserved to have their own lives, not live up to anyone else's, not even as a second name.

iguana

We're expecting a boy and while he will neither be the first grandchild or grandson he will be the first to have my husband's surname. We've gotten a lot of hints from his mother that we should call him after my husband's father. Initially we were both completely opposed to the idea, preferring for our kids to have their own name and identity. But my father in law's name does go well as a second name to the name we have chosen as first choice, so I think we'll probably give him that middle name. I just hope my dad doesn't feel a bit sidelined.

Ms2011

My son's named after his 2 grandads but it was totally our decision to do that no one else had a say in it plus I like my Dads name & it suits our son:-)

As for not buying things for the baby before it's born I think that's crazy, I bought my first baby item at 5 weeks pregnant & had everything bought & the nursery decorated by 25 weeks which was great because I started to get really big after that & would have been in no mood to go baby shopping or decided on nursery decore by then!!

Lisha

When anyone passed a comment on us buying baby stuff before the babies arrival I had 2 responses depending on how annoying the person was...
1. To reply if I left it to my husband we would have nothing, he is a disaster when it comes to shopping.....and ifthat was not enough
2. Thanks for you concern but if something, God forbid, does happen to the baby then a few babygrows/buggy in the house would not make me feel anyworse..............
I had everything in the house before baby arrived. My husband was very nervous (of something going wrong), so he was not overinvolved in the buying of stuff. But it was all in the house, buggy/seat, clothes, nappies, wipes, sudocream, bath, muslins, tins formula, bibs, thermometer, cottonwool,crib, everything even dinners in freezer.
I had section, so could not drive. Husband working away late. He thanked me after sayingthat only for me having all in house it would have been a lot more stressful

On the names thing, definately do what makes you and OH happy.
TBF the fact that you are being put under pressure to choose a name would have me running to do the opposite direction.
Maybe a varient ofthe suggested name, Irish version maybe might suit better. Or second/third name is a nice compromise too

Best of luck OP

notsobusy

I agree it's ridiculous waiting till after the baby to go and get everything. WE bought the cot and buggy when I was around 30 weeks. The only thing i'll say if you're planning for bubs to sleep in a moses basket then don't buy the cot. We went out and bought it and have since been offered 4 of them from friends and family.....bit gutted but hey ho!

In regards to names, name your baby what you want!!! Sure maybe just nod and smile at your mum and then when baby is born and named you can tell her that this is what we've gone with.....

Took us 2 days to name the baby and then he got 2 middle names. My partners brother was hinting for ages to name him after him as that's his dad's name aswell. I didn't like the name at all. His two middle names both have family meanings so that was grand until my mother heard and then wanted to put her maiden name in too! We had to draw a line somewhere!!