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Want to say something but dont know how!

  • 13-07-2012 12:21am
    #1
    Jhcx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,776 ✭✭✭


    I've become very good close friend with this guy. the way it started was that i commented on a thread he started about his brother committing suicide, I opened my hand to friendship and a couple days later he came back and we began talking.
    Its now been a month and we are very close. Talked about a lot of stuff, he's even mentioned good times with his brother, times that he now feels horrible that during his time of need(broke his ankle) that he was mean to his brother. But my problem is i want to ask him how he is coping, is there rage he wants to let out. Like honestly it cant be easy, loosing a brother specially when they were twins. I just dont know how to bring it up or if i should even bring it up.. I dont want to damage our friendship. he has said he's sick of everyone saying sorry and i get that from experience.

    I just want him to feel like its about him not me not to hide the pain cause it will come back and bite. Any idea's what i should do?

    Thanks,
    Jhcx


Comments

  • #2
    Piliger
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,741 ✭✭✭Piliger


    Hi OP. In my view, based on how you describe it, I would advise that the best thing is just to tell him that it would help him if he talked about it to someone, and if he wants to talk about it to you, then you are there for him.
    I would leave it at that, to be honest. Just say it once. He will when he is ready and you can't push him. Everyone deals with this kind of trauma in their own way and he has to find his own way to a resolution.


  • #3
    Jhcx
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,776 ✭✭✭Jhcx


    Piliger wrote: »
    Hi OP. In my view, based on how you describe it, I would advise that the best thing is just to tell him that it would help him if he talked about it to someone, and if he wants to talk about it to you, then you are there for him.
    I would leave it at that, to be honest. Just say it once. He will when he is ready and you can't push him. Everyone deals with this kind of trauma in their own way and he has to find his own way to a resolution.

    Thanks. Suppose thats the best way to go about it. Ya cant be easy trying to deal with it.. just would prefer if he could just say that he's doing little better than im thinking he is..


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