What to do about this !!!

LegacyUser

Ok am a working with a girl who is the same age as me who's 20

But the problem is that she was a boyfriend for the last year and she basically does everything for him and i am kind of the only outer guy she speaks with.

I have been none stop flirting with her and she's i have been and she has also giving me kind of hints about shifting her on a night out

She has catched me in the act looking at her ass a few times and i just get a smile back from her

She keeps on asking my boss what days i am working and she try to work with me all the time

She thinks that i am full of my self due to the fact i have a ANS to every to see says to me but she is as bad on the outer side with her remarks

So what i am going to do about it as i would love for this girl to be my girlfriend but why did she had to have a boyfriend what to do ?

xzanti

I would hazard a guess that she's just getting a kick out of your "non stop flirting with her".. maybe her day just goes faster with someone acting the clown to impress her

You say she has a boyfriend whom she "does everything for".. so it sounds like she's pretty much set on this guy..

Has your Boss actually told you that she's been requesting the same shifts as you? Or are you just assuming this because you coincidentally keep getting them together?

SunnyDub1

What to do about this 123 wrote: »

But the problem is that she was a boyfriend for the last year and she basically does everything for him and i am kind of the only outer guy she speaks with.

There is your answer......

TBH op, your wasting your time and feelings.
you might be reading into things to much. She works with you so I'm presuming she has to make some kind of effort with you, maybe she's just a friendly person and has a lot in common with you and enjoys your company, doesn't necessarily mean she fancies you.

Imo if she was anyway interested in starting a relationship with you she wouldn't be with her boyfriend.

I'd move on.

stargazer 68

Op
How do you know she does everything for her boyfriend?
How do you know you are the only other male she speaks to?
How do you know she requests the same shift as you?

Stop wasting your time and leave her alone. She is getting a kick out of you mooning over her. If she was interested in you she would have dumped this other guy already.

Oryx

Kind of hints? You guys are amusing yourselves with 'harmless' flirting in the workplace. This girl is not free to go out with you, so you have two choices. Stop messing around with her, or ask her outright if she is interested in you.

If you ask, and she is interested in you then it is up to her to leave her boyfriend before she can go out with you. If she isn't at least you know where you stand.

Motley Crue

This girl seems to love the attention, pure and simple, and doesn't seem to really want you as her boyfriend. If it was a choice of working with you or working with a much older man who made sure she did her job every evening instead of starring at her ass then I think she'd make sure she worked with you. She obviously gets to act as she pleases just by flirting with you and she probably enjoys it immensely. But you will get nothing out of it.

And no girl offers a "shift" on a night out ahead of time unless

A) they really intend on doing it and they're known to be easy or
they're just looking to exploit you/take advantage and get something on false promise

LegacyUser

Like i really have notting to loss over this as i don't care if anything happens

But there last weekend i was flirting with people who came in and it was pissing her of big time like giving me dirty looks for doing in.

I forgot to add as well last week her boyfriend cut off all his hair and she was moening to me about saying i have perfect hair and the perfect body and what not

Also she told me she doeint see her self with the boyfriend in a few mouths and that she is getting sick of him

How do you know she does everything for her boyfriend?
She drives him everywhere and gets stuff for him

How do you know you are the only other male she speaks to?
She told me the only lads she speaks to are me,BF and best friends BF

How do you know she requests the same shift as you?
My boss told me and i don't think after 5 years of working with him he would lie to me about that. She can work with me our a girl who the same age as us as well

Like i think she is seeing in me some guy who's not as lazy as her boyfriend has money and has the balls to put her in her place and i think thats why she is trying to make a move on me. Even her mother who came in said to me this is the good looking guy who you work with and she went bright red so really i just don't no

My mind is going WTF about everything

Mr. Loverman

I'm guessing you are very young.

This girl has a boyfriend.

Find a different girl.

The end.

Janey_Mac

What to do about this 123 wrote: »

Like i think she is seeing in me some guy who's not as lazy as her boyfriend has money and has the balls to put her in her place and i think thats why she is trying to make a move on me. Even her mother who came in said to me this is the good looking guy who you work with and she went bright red so really i just don't no

My mind is going WTF about everything

There is nothing you can actively do here.

She has a boyfriend. Either she'll leave him or she won't; you have no control over this and you should be keeping your nose out of it.

If the constant flirting when you know she has a boyfriend is bothering you, then back off and stop flirting. Explain this to the girl if you want because she will probably wonder. Ask the manager to stop putting you on shift together so much.

There is nothing you can do to make her leave her boyfriend, and going over every word and action looking for clues that it's going to go your way is pointless and just stresses you out.

LegacyUser

Op i was in same situation before.Met this nice girl before who always talked about the bad things about her partner.But op i think you are been lead on.As rest said she either leave him or wont.in my experience they never do because of long personal feelings and hurt they would create leaving their old bf.An example as you said was to be given dirty looks by her for your flirting even though you are not even in a relationship with her.think about it op,shes with someone else.why would she care who you flirt with?.

Stop wasting your time with her op.she is enjoying the attention.find someone else worthy of your time.

Big Bag of Chips

She has the best of both worlds. She has a bf, and she has a fella in work who is mad about her too, and giving her loads of attention.. Why would she change that set up?

I don't know why you think "having the balls to put her in her place" is attractive to her? If some fella thought he had to "put me in my place" I wouldn't be hanging around.

Or maybe you mean something else, and I'm picking that bit up wrong?

Until she finishes with her bf you should steer clear. Do you want an angry (ex)bf turning up at your job?

Stop paying her so much attention and see what happens. She might break it off, and then chase you... OR - you might find a really nice available girl, while you're not obsessing about this one!

LegacyUser

Guys just a update about this

Was working with the girl last night again and she was telling me even more about how sick of the boyfriend she is

And that she was thinking of braking up with him as she does not see a future with him

Then her mother came into work and she nos there is something up between us with the flirting and the inside jokes between us

Also that night this hot nerdy girl was also in and i told her thats my perfect girl right there. Her reply was what about some one like me i am better looking then her.

Then when i was chatting her up she was there giving me dirty looks again

What am i post to do about it ?

Oryx

You've already been told what to do. You two should leave each other alone, you'll just mess with each others heads. What you describe going on is just so immature and unnecessary and if you keep going on with this high tension flirting and dirty looks and stuff, its bound to end badly with the two of you falling out.

Lorna123

What to do about this 123 wrote: »

Guys just a update about this

Was working with the girl last night again and she was telling me even more about how sick of the boyfriend she is

And that she was thinking of braking up with him as she does not see a future with him

Then her mother came into work and she nos there is something up between us with the flirting and the inside jokes between us

Also that night this hot nerdy girl was also in and i told her thats my perfect girl right there. Her reply was what about some one like me i am better looking then her.

Then when i was chatting her up she was there giving me dirty looks again

What am i post to do about it ?

Sounds to me like she is into you OP. She is not sure though how you feel about her so she is testing the water. Could you jokingly say to her "pity you have a b/f, because you and I could be great together" and see what she says. If you say this very confidently with a big flirty smile on your face then you might get some information from her. As far as I can see she is interested in you so you need to take the next step or this will go nowhere. Or another thing you could say is "let me know when you split up with your b/f and we can then go on a date together", something nice and light. Best of Luck

ibarelycare

She doesn't sound like a very nice girl at all. Talking about her boyfriend behind his back like that is very low and she just seems to be looking for attention. Her mother doesn't sound much better, have they no respect? I don't know why you'd want anything to do with her tbh.

LegacyUser

Lorna123 wrote: »

Sounds to me like she is into you OP. She is not sure though how you feel about her so she is testing the water. Could you jokingly say to her "pity you have a b/f, because you and I could be great together" and see what she says. If you say this very confidently with a big flirty smile on your face then you might get some information from her. As far as I can see she is interested in you so you need to take the next step or this will go nowhere. Or another thing you could say is "let me know when you split up with your b/f and we can then go on a date together", something nice and light. Best of Luck

I think she no's that i like her and i was on my phone as well the outer night and she told me you txting your girlfriend and i was like i wish i had a girlfriend. Got a big smile back from her over this. So i think she wont's me to make a move of some kind but i am not that kind of guy i will only make a move she brakes up with him.

Also i have told her i am moving in with a group of girls next year and she said she better be good looking as a am not going to look at a ugly person.

She will be in the same city as me next year for college and that i have already invited her to my housewarming and she has told she well be there as she can't wait to met my friends.

I like the girl there is something about her i just like and i haveint felt this way about a girl since my ex.

I think both do have respect

Novella

The girl has a boyfriend. You are continuously ignoring this. Yeah, she's said she is going to break up with him but she hasn't. Firstly, I think it's low that she's speaking about breaking up with her bf with somebody other than him, it shows a lack of respect and secondly, no amount of talking about it actually means anything. If she really didn't want to be with the guy, she wouldn't be.

In my opinion, this girl sounds like she enjoys the attention and the drama. She's young, she's probably a little immature.

You have been given the advice to avoid the situation, but you don't seem to want to listen.

Janey_Mac

What to do about this 123 wrote: »

I think she no's that i like her and i was on my phone as well the outer night and she told me you txting your girlfriend and i was like i wish i had a girlfriend. Got a big smile back from her over this. So i think she wont's me to make a move of some kind but i am not that kind of guy i will only make a move she brakes up with him.

Also i have told her i am moving in with a group of girls next year and she said she better be good looking as a am not going to look at a ugly person.

She will be in the same city as me next year for college and that i have already invited her to my housewarming and she has told she well be there as she can't wait to met my friends.

I like the girl there is something about her i just like and i haveint felt this way about a girl since my ex.

I think both do have respect

Here is one mature solution: you can sit down with her and tell her you fancy her but are not going to do anything about it because she has a boyfriend. Ball's then in her court.

Here is another mature solution: You stay away from her because she is in a relationship and you have feelings for her which she may reciprocate and it will be messy.

Here is an immature action to take: You hook up with her behind her boyfriend's back, it probably ends badly.

Here is another immature action to take: Keep flirting with her and wallowing in the delicious bittersweetness of not-quite-unrequited mutual flirting that's going nowhere, doing bad things to her relationship and preventing you from moving on from this girl.

You've been given advice. There is no magic-wand, fix-it-all for this one. You have to act like an adult here. (And it doesn't seem likely that she will, so it's up to you.)

Lorna123

What to do about this 123 wrote: »

I think she no's that i like her and i was on my phone as well the outer night and she told me you txting your girlfriend and i was like i wish i had a girlfriend. Got a big smile back from her over this. So i think she wont's me to make a move of some kind but i am not that kind of guy i will only make a move she brakes up with him.

Also i have told her i am moving in with a group of girls next year and she said she better be good looking as a am not going to look at a ugly person.

She will be in the same city as me next year for college and that i have already invited her to my housewarming and she has told she well be there as she can't wait to met my friends.

I like the girl there is something about her i just like and i haveint felt this way about a girl since my ex.

I think both do have respect

I think you are fascinated with the idea that this girl likes you but has a boyfriend. She is extra hard to get because of this and so the plot thickens. Give her your phone number and tell her to contact you when she has broken up with her b/f and see how she reacts. Best of Luck.

LegacyUser

Janey_Mac wrote: »

Here is one mature solution: you can sit down with her and tell her you fancy her but are not going to do anything about it because she has a boyfriend. Ball's then in her court.

Here is another mature solution: You stay away from her because she is in a relationship and you have feelings for her which she may reciprocate and it will be messy.

Here is an immature action to take: You hook up with her behind her boyfriend's back, it probably ends badly.

Here is another immature action to take: Keep flirting with her and wallowing in the delicious bittersweetness of not-quite-unrequited mutual flirting that's going nowhere, doing bad things to her relationship and preventing you from moving on from this girl.

You've been given advice. There is no magic-wand, fix-it-all for this one. You have to act like an adult here. (And it doesn't seem likely that she will, so it's up to you.)

Thanks for the help here i will tell her that i have feelings for her but i am not going to say it yet to her i am going to give it a bit more time and wait and see.

I would not make a move be hide her boyfriends back as i think its wrong

She was telling me last night that some one hacked her phone some how and sent a txt she is to good for the boyfriend and that she is thinking it was me who done it and that she was smiling away to me by she was saying it to me

I am going to try and hold of for a few weeks and wait to i am back in college and i no that the boyfriend is not around and i will tell her then. She has accepted my invite to my housewarming party when i get back and thats the day i am going to tell her

What do you gos think about that

As i cant believe i got myself into a mess like this

daisy1984

Ok read all the posts and does anybody not see the real truth in this!! THIS WOMAN IS TROUBLE!!! Trouble with a capital T! Dude seriously are you blind!! Ya you like flirtin with her so what, she seem like a total flake!! Get a life and move on man! You can do so much better than a flake!! Honestly if your getting hit on by other girls I dont see why ur letting this woman get to ya!!! Shes got boyfriend and the pure cheek of her flirtin with other men!! If you ended up with her she do the same to you!! without a doubt! Once a cheater always a cheater!! Not worth heart ache!! SHES TROUBLE!!! OPEN UR EYES

Lorna123

What to do about this 123 wrote: »

She was telling me last night that some one hacked her phone some how and sent a txt she is to good for the boyfriend and that she is thinking it was me who done it and that she was smiling away to me by she was saying it to me


What do you gos think about that

As i cant believe i got myself into a mess like this

I don't like this at all. What does she mean by someone hacked her phone? Does she mean that someone sent her a message with no number attached to it? What she is saying here is definitely very odd, almost like she is making this up to see what your reaction is.
Maybe you should ask her straight out what game she is playing. She knows full well that you are interested in her, women know these things and it now appears like she is playing games with you. I don't understand this. I am beginning to think now that Daisy above is right. Ignore her from now on.

LegacyUser

I think i might after a bit of thinking it might be the worst thing ever to make a move and her and tell her i like her. As it will end up backfiring in the long run

Ya i dont get the phone thing myself she was thinking it was me. No the massage was sent from her phone on the night i was off to her boyfriend and she is thinking it was me

I no she nos well that i like her and she's playing games with me and i think she's enjoying it

Well two can play at her game LoL. Going to tell her i am txt a girl and what to see what she says about that when i work with her again on friday

ibarelycare

Dear lord. The pair of you really need to grow up.

Oryx

As i cant believe i got myself into a mess like this

Who do you think youre kidding? Youre loving it, as shown by this:

What to do about this 123 wrote: »

Well two can play at her game LoL. Going to tell her i am txt a girl and what to see what she says about that when i work with her again on friday

This is like watching a car crash. We can all see whats going to happen, but youre having too much FUN flirting and messing with this girl to care. So keep flirting. Play games. Get your hookup. Take the inevitable flak. Come back in oh, about 6 weeks saying how you now have to work with a girl you had a fling with who now hates you.

I'm not usually harsh, but god, you really arent listening at all, here.

Janey_Mac

What to do about this 123 wrote: »

I think i might after a bit of thinking it might be the worst thing ever to make a move and her and tell her i like her. As it will end up backfiring in the long run

Ya i dont get the phone thing myself she was thinking it was me. No the massage was sent from her phone on the night i was off to her boyfriend and she is thinking it was me

I no she nos well that i like her and she's playing games with me and i think she's enjoying it

Well two can play at her game LoL. Going to tell her i am txt a girl and what to see what she says about that when i work with her again on friday

Grow up. Just grow up. You asked for advice, but you clearly don't want it. This girl sounds like a manipulative so and so and you should avoid her and not be the one she cheats on her boyfriend with.

Lorna123

What to do about this 123 wrote: »

I think i might after a bit of thinking it might be the worst thing ever to make a move and her and tell her i like her. As it will end up backfiring in the long run

Ya i dont get the phone thing myself she was thinking it was me. No the massage was sent from her phone on the night i was off to her boyfriend and she is thinking it was me

I no she nos well that i like her and she's playing games with me and i think she's enjoying it

Well two can play at her game LoL. Going to tell her i am txt a girl and what to see what she says about that when i work with her again on friday

How could you possibly send a message from her phone to her boyfriend if you didn't have her phone to do it with and you weren't even near her phone as you had the night off? Why would she think this was you? She is most definitely playing games OP and these games could get you into trouble if you don't stop now. Rather than telling her how you feel about her I would be telling her that while she has a boyfriend you feel that playing games is inappropriate and dangerous and that you don't appreciate it and you don't wish to entertain it any further.

mcmoustache

Would you like to be her boyfriend?

Would you like to be HER boyfriend? Think about it. If she's prepared to treat her boyfriend like this, you would most likely be treated in the same way if you were the boyfriend.

Taltos

OK OP - after getting some pretty unaminous advice here the consensus appears to be to stay away and yet you are choosing to ignore this and go play her at her own game.

All we can do now is wish you all the best but we are closing this thread since you clearly have your mind made up.
If you would though - just re-read the advice proffered, hopefully it will sink in before you do take any action.

Taltos