Negativity ruining my life

LegacyUser

is it possible that some people are just born negative people and others positive people?... is there anyway someone can change?... i realize now that i am big time a negative person and always see the glass half empty.... its affecting my relationships both family and personal and my work....
I'm so lucky in so many ways but still feel negative a lot of the time....its got to the point now that i live my life in fear....fear of doing something different, meeting people, moving jobs, fear of how other people perceive me... Its gotton me quite down over the last extended period.... i'm going to a counsellor to try and get to the root of some of my problems but still feel down quite a lot...

has anyone any advice or experiences of how they changed, books... etc,,, any advice appreciated

thanks

Rosy Posy

I have suffered/still suffer to an extent with a negative outlook which can spiral into a depression if left unchecked but I've been doing lots of conscious work to combat it. For me I find that the negative thoughts are a result of me overthinking things and coming at things from a head space so I try to flip that around and fight it by working with my actions and emotions. I find getting some exercise helps me get perspective- doing something physical that also requires me to focus my attention on something other than the negative thought process. Once I'm finished and tired most times I've forgotten what was making me so anxious in the first place. When I'm feeling fear and having that worst case scenario snowball, I try to summon up a really pure positive emotion like love or hope and do a visualisation technique where I surround my self and my family with a protective circle of light. I hope this helps, OP. I think you've crossed the biggest hurdle by seeing that you've got a problem and that the way you're thinking is not helping you get to where you want to be in life. All the best.

ennis81

You can change of course you can I did, in my younger years I was defo more negative and had a bit of a self pitying attitude now I'm older I realise that everyday is a gift and I wasted too much time sweating about the small insignificant things life threw at me, all you have to do is read through some of the harrowing stories here everyday to know how lucky you are, do u think you may be suffering from a bit of depression or have you always felt like this? Get out there and live your life it is the only one you will ever get, and as for what people think of you, this is a great quote that I love and say to myself everyday "what people think of me is none of my business".

LegacyUser

hi guys,

i really appreciate your replies...i really do...they are most helpful....
i guess i do suffer from mild depression and negative feelings a lot of the time....the counselling is helping get some issues out there. Excercise is helping quite a bit too but i'm finding myself eventually going back into negative thoughts, mainly in work when im sometimes idle.... i do realise i am lucky so it makes me feel extra selfish when i dont have one hundreth of the problems others have...
i see friends who are such happy go lucky people and and i want to be one of them.... part of my problem is i hide from the crowd...i'm quite shy and sometimes feel like i'm doing this so people wont find me out(not that there's anything to find out..)... i guess my self esteem isnt great either

ennis81

Ok you've gotta learn how to push the bad thoughts away, when you think of something bad/negative force it away with a good thought, instead of listing your bad/negative points in your head e.g I'm shy, nervous, selfish etc.... list the good stuff e.g I work hard, I care for people, I went out of my way to help someone today, my hair looks nice, its a beautiful day etc...
You are trying to train yourself to see life in a different way, I am a firm believer in if you don't like something about yourself change it. Try and do a few things that take you out of your comfort zone, when I am feeling down or negative a great boost for me is to help someone else with something. You get one life, one body and probably most importantly one mind, look after your mind and be kind to yourself, often our own worst critics are ourselves;)

MrScootch

I find it's pretty hard to feel negative if I'm eating right, getting excercise, getting enough sleep, still not smoking. With those basics covered I feel like I'm able to deal with whatever comes along and then it's about sorting out the right balance in my life, doing things that interest me or that I've always wanted to do, which leads to meeting new people I like, which leads to more socialising and less shyness, by which time I've forgotten about or don't have time to feel negative.