Funny David Feherty Quotes

thisNthat

If any of you are not golfers and don’t know who David Feherty is, think of an Irishman who was a professional golfer, and is now a TV commentator for Golf Channel, and has his own show.
The stuff that just rolls off of his lips is so funny that for a few years they wouldn’t even let him do the Masters coverage for fear he would offend the Masters Committee.

On a possible injury to Rory McElroy -- “Fortunately, Rory is only 22 years old, so his right wrist should be the strongest muscle in his body.”

“That ball is so far left, Lassie couldn’t find it if it was wrapped in bacon.”

“I am sorry Nick Faldo couldn’t be here this week. He is busy attending the birth of his next wife.”

On Jim Furyk’s swing -- “It looks like an octopus falling out of a tree.”

On Luke Donald's recent success -- “He’s a bloody walking ATM. I slid my AmEx card between the cheeks of his ass and out popped $500.”

Describing VJ Singh's prodigious practice regime -- "VJ hits more balls than Elton John's chin."

"That was a great shot -- if they'd put the pin there today."

"All you need for a happy life is good health and a bad memory."

Describing a player's tee shot -- "Everything moves except his bowels."

"Watching Phil Mickelson play golf is like watching a drunk chasing a balloon near the edge of a cliff."

newport2

He's definitely come out with some great one-liners over the years, some great ones in your OP!

He does come out with some awful drivel in between though, sounds like he's trying too hard to be funny a lot of the time. I find him a bit annoying tbh, but I figure I'm probably outnumbered by those who like him though!

Bruce Critchley drives me mad, would nearly press the mute button when he's on. :mad:

I watch an awful lot of golf though, so I guess most commentators are going to get somewhat annoying to listen to week in, week out talking about the same thing. I sound like a grumpy old man here, rant over

A New earth

Liked the title of one of his books

"Somewhere in Ireland a Village is Missing an Idiot"

SHOVELLER

Funny guy but disappointed that he has more or less given up on Ireland.

FixdePitchmark

Anybody watch Feherty - good show.

But some of his little comedic interludes are a bit much, It is a sort of corny rehearsed moment - some of the pros are very serious and it is a bit awkward. Sometimes the pros think he is just rude and it is funny then by accident.

He has the gift of the gab and lovely swing.

Freemount09

He does have some good sayings alright. Haven't seen his show, I would watch it - when is it on ?

Also, might be a Q for another forum but does anyone have instructions on how to tune a sky box to get the golf channel ?

InTheRough

I think Feherty also described Colin Montgomerie as having a face "like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle"?

not yet

Mid-atlantic gobsh1te....

SnowDrifts

Some funny ones here as he rips players at the Tavistock Cup

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=vpK7ipARF3o

lowelife

InTheRough wrote: »

I think Feherty also described Colin Montgomerie as having a face "like a bulldog licking piss off a nettle"?

Also didnt he start the "Mrs Doubtfire" thing that wound Monty up so much he asked for him to be kicked out the team room in 1999 @ Ryder Cup in Brookline

RikkFlair

"I'll be rooting for USA in the 2012 Ryder Cup"

That was a funny one.

Seves Three Iron

Each to his own I suppose but I find Feherty to be easily the most annoying personality/analyst/voice over/whatever he calls himsef in golf - by a country mile. Americans obviously think he's funny and it would appear he's making a pile of cash for himself. Just confirms my suspicion though that self confidence is far more important than actual talent.

onlyfinewine

A New earth wrote: »

Liked the title of one of his books

"Somewhere in Ireland a Village is Missing an Idiot"

Do you think it might be a self-portrait?

fearruanua

some other quotes I found online

"From my own experience visiting the troops in the Middle East, I can tell you this, though: despite how the conflict has been portrayed by our glorious media, if you gave any U.S. soldier a gun with two bullets in it, and he found himself in an elevator with Nancy Pelosi, Harry Reid, and Osama bin Laden, there's a good chance that Nancy Pelosi would get shot twice, and Harry Reid and bin Laden would be strangled to death."

Feherty has had a long struggle with depression and alcoholism, which he publicly addressed in 2006. In an interview with Golf Magazine about his problems, Feherty said "I used alcohol to mask my inner demons".
The outspoken columnist then took a shot at actor and noted Scientologist Tom Cruise, who has said that therapy and drugs are useless and that depression can be cured by physical exercise:
"Actually, some sort of exercise would have helped me. If I kicked the sh1t out of Tom Cruise, I'd feel a lot better about myself."

slave1

I watched one of his programs when on hols in the states this year and he came down pretty seriously when discussing receovery from alcoholism with John Daly.
He (Feherty) can only do it with a daily cocktail of drugs, a lot of those drugs can have a fair impact on one's personality, just saying.

SnowDrifts

Speaking of John Daly and Feherty - it's hard not to laugh at the following clip where he says in the most genuinely serious tone - "It's not stupid!"

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7swLLh0apy0