Unrequited love

Wacker The Attacker

Around five years ago I fell in love with a girl that I worked with. I expressed this to her but unfortunately the feelings were not returned. We were always good friends but it took quite a length of time to get over this person. She emigrated to the U.S about five years and I hadnt seen her since until yesterday. I met her localy and chatted to her for a while. We'd agreed to meet and catch up. All the old feeling I had for her were brought back.

Is it usual to harbour feelings of love towards someone who cant return them for so long?

Red Hand

Yes, it can happen, that you may have feelings for someone that aren't returned for a long time. Unfortunately, the best way to deal with this is to avoid the person as you cannot really live like that for a long period of time. It stops you from finding someone you like you likes you back.

borabora

Is your (love) life as full as you want it to be? Or is there something missing? She could be an outlet for something that you need but aren't currently getting.

EZ24GET

Things do change - those old feelings may not last.

aoshea83

This is such a cliche but

http://www.lyrics007.com/Garth%20Brooks%20Lyrics/Unanswered%20Prayers%20Lyrics.html

It may still hold true!

Overheal

I personally find it to be a conflict in self respect: by that I mean what are you going to do: imagine a situation where you get into a relationship with someone that you love, but they don't love you back? What do you want, her pity? If she doesn't love you, that's all anything between the two of you would be. Would you be at all comfortable with that?

Wacker The Attacker

Overheal wrote: »

I personally find it to be a conflict in self respect: by that I mean what are you going to do: imagine a situation where you get into a relationship with someone that you love, but they don't love you back? What do you want, her pity? If she doesn't love you, that's all anything between the two of you would be. Would you be at all comfortable with that?

I understand that nothing is ever going to happen. On the other hand that wont make the feelings go away.

karaokeman

Wacker The Attacker wrote: »

I understand that nothing is ever going to happen. On the other hand that wont make the feelings go away.

Its not meant to, however I do believe your realising that nothing will ever happen is the first step.

We cannot control who we fall in love with, nor can other people control who they fall in love with, or whether or not they have affections for us.

When you think about it, realising your love is unrequited helps you to come to terms with reality. To think about what you would like to happen is only deluding yourself, if you accept that she isn't interested it means that you respect her decision to acknowledge who she's attracted to and acknowledge those she only sees and only will ever see as friends, and that will make her happier in the long run.

I've been in your situation before, and if you really love the girl you will be happy with whatever makes her happy, that may include being with someone she finds attractive. It may not be what you initially wanted to happen, but if it does, all that means is that you've learnt she's not for you and that there's plenty more fish in the sea.

And never underestimate your ability to love, if you get out there more you will meet new people, learn new things about yourself. No matter how much you loved this girl you will meet someone better if you drown out all those old feelings, and focus on becoming happy in yourself whether that means changing career directions, moving away, anything that makes you feel like you've made a better choice with your life will shape how you present yourself to other people and they will like you for achieving that.

Good luck:).