Mum: I'm not an Alco

LegacyUser

Hey guys,

my widowed mum was diagnosed by doctors and received treatment for alcoholism 12 years ago when I was in college. She has decided that she no longer fits the alocholic bill and has started drinking again. She lives far away and I'm unsure as to how much she is drinking. She tells me that she is drinking below what is recommended by her local GP (she has started seeing a new one who doesn't know her past). I am getting sick and tired of her behaviour since she's started again (lying, extravagant spending, zero empathy etc.). I am afraid to let her go and to turn my back on her. I don't want my children growing up without their grandmother but I feel like I have to. I feel that even a text is enough to enable her.

Has anyone been in similar situations and how did you cope?

Morag

There is support for those who have a family member who is an alcoholic.
al anon runs meetings all over the country for people who are in the siltation you are in,
where people can talk and share coping strategies.

http://www.al-anon-ireland.org/meetings.htm

Taltos

OP - for what it's worth my mum is also an alcoholic - told her years ago that if she ever chooses to drink again I cannot be there for her again - nearly destroyed me last time.

Sometimes the best thing you can do is just to take care of yourself and your kids.

Sorry.

Also do get in touch with someone like alanon - it might help to talk to someone who knows where you are coming from.

estar

hi i definitely recommend al anon. i am sorry you are in that situation.

Esoteric_

I'm also the daughter of an alcoholic parent. I can only echo what the others have said.

Definitely contact Al-Anon. They can provide some invaluable support.

At the end of the day, as hard as it is, you have to look after yourself and your children first and foremost. I know that leaves you in an impossible position because you want to be there for your mum, but yours and your children's well being has to come first.

All the best, OP.

curlzy

Hey,

My mam's an alcoholic too. She's in recovery 24 years now (go mam ). You really can't sacrifice yourself for an alcoholic, it doesn't do them any good and the contact destroys you in the process. Your children are better off with no grandmother rather than an active alcoholic grandmother so stop feeling guilty about that.

Go to Alanon, this is what they are for. They will help you through these ****ty confusing emotions.

I would cut contact until she's back in recovery.

Best of luck.