Such a mess on facebook

LegacyUser

Going unregistered for this because i am so embarrassed. Was logged into my facebook when i got a notification in which a pupil in the school i teach in was mentioned, how or why i dont know but there are a couple of mutual friends from assistants who worked in the school. I clicked on the post and before i knew anything else it said friend request sent. i was abselutely panicked and cancelled the request straight away but im sure they will have got a notification

How do i react to this, have been sick to my stomach all day and so upset. Have turned down numerous requests from students in the past and would never accept students or have any interaction with students on facebook. I am sure everyone in the school will soon know what happened, how do i deal with this, am going to spend my whole summer worrying about this.

Do i just deny that i sent the friend request and say iy must have been someone messing? I 150% would never befreiend a student, i am so upset here, am basically in tears all day. Work in a reasonably small town and my reputation will be ruined.

hollyday

Hi OP
You could deactivate your account for a few weeks, I'm sure they'll have forgotten about it by the time you go back on

Tombi!

You might be able to cancel it:
Go to that person's profile (timeline)
Hover over the Friend Request Sent button at the top of the page
Click Cancel Request from the dropdown menu

Otherwise just wait for them to accept it, defriend them and then just make it quite clear on monday: you had no idea to how use Facebook and managed to add a student.

If you want to defriend:
Go to that person's profile (timeline)
Hover over the Friends box at the top of their profile (timeline)
Click Unfriend

Honestly, it's the internet. Even the most tech savvy of people still make bigger mistakes than you. It's just a friend request sent. It's not like you started sending them pictures of you or anything like that.

Lots of people do much, much worse than you with their mistakes. Don't worry about it

And do note I got those instructions from the help section in Facebook so it's quite obvious that everyone needs instruction with the internet. Just be a bit more careful and don't let anyone make it out to be a bigger issue than you not understanding everything about Facebook.

LegacyUser

Thanks for the replies, it really was just a genuine mistake. name of this student for some reason appeared in a notification on my page, think it might have been one of the other boys messing, and when i clicked on link i obviously clicked add friend on my touchscreen phone by mistake.

I deleted the request straight away within 2 minutes as i checked how to do it as you have posted here with facebook site, so they will know it was not me trying to add them as a friend really. They probably never even saw the request on facebook but will have got an email informing them of friend request. I am just dreading the reaction, not back until the end of augustand will worry until then. I am a youngish female teacher and have had comments from this lad and friends before and the slagging and reaction i will get from him and his friends will probably be terrible.

I still feel so sick and down, everyone will think i am some kind of creep or something. Other teachers, students, maybe even management in school might hear about this. When it comes up, should i just say what happened or try and play it off by saying someone must have been messing with my account or something?? Am i over-reacting or should i really be worried?

Galadriel

Unreg 1234 wrote: »

Thanks for the replies, it really was just a genuine mistake. name of this student for some reason appeared in a notification on my page, think it might have been one of the other boys messing, and when i clicked on link i obviously clicked add friend on my touchscreen phone by mistake.

I deleted the request straight away within 2 minutes as i checked how to do it as you have posted here with facebook site, so they will know it was not me trying to add them as a friend really. They probably never even saw the request on facebook but will have got an email informing them of friend request. I am just dreading the reaction, not back until the end of augustand will worry until then. I am a youngish female teacher and have had comments from this lad and friends before and the slagging and reaction i will get from him and his friends will probably be terrible.

I still feel so sick and down, everyone will think i am some kind of creep or something. Other teachers, students, maybe even management in school might hear about this. When it comes up, should i just say what happened or try and play it off by saying someone must have been messing with my account or something?? Am i over-reacting or should i really be worried?

I don't use facebook too often but I'm sure you don't get notifications any more if someone requests to add you as a friend.

woodchuck

Unreg 1234 wrote: »

Am i over-reacting or should i really be worried?

I think you're over-reacting. There's no point in worrying yourself sick about this all summer. Sure by the time you're back in the classroom they'll have had a whole summer of experiences and probably won't even remember it! And since you cancelled the request so quickly they might not have even noticed it anyway.

I think there is very very little chance of this coming up with management. Maybe if you were actually friends with them on facebook, but not for a cancelled request. But even if it did, just say what you said here; accidental click of the button through a mutual friends link that you retracted immediately. I think it's only an issue if you make one out of it.

Tombi!

So you're a young teacher and mistakenly added someone on facebook and you were on a touchscreen phone.

Seriosuly, you're overracting greatly. Just message the fella and explain something like "sorry about that friend reuqest, was on a touchscreen and hit the wrong button, that's why I cancelled it".
He might not get an email though since some people have email notifications disabled.

I'd just not bother (unless he messages you) and if anyone asks about it at school just be blunt: I hit the wrong button on the phone, that's why I removed the request a few minutes later.

TBH, I think that would be your best option instead of telling the lad why (unless he messages you of course). And depending on wht they say to you in school, you might want to bring it up with the principal (and yes, if they start the messing on facebook just block them nad keep the messages, just incase you need to stop show the other staff if you did happen to make a complaint about them).

Of course that's something different but basically: you hit the wrong button (you'll get laughed at for that) and removed the request and that's that. End of discussion, nothing else needs to be explained. Anyone asks anymore you can't tell them anymore since you had other motives other than "damnit, hit the wrong button, better go remove the request".

wylo

Did this happen today? If so , once you get a night or twos sleep you probably wont care nearly as much.


As for the technicalities of it, heres the bad news, he MAY get an email.
The good news is he WONT get a notification because you cancelled, I know this because I just added my account to another account I have and cancelled straight away, when I logged in to the other account there was no notification.

Look, the big deal youre making out of this is all in your mind, some people would do that and think "oops hehe", and another person would feel sick to the stomach. Im just highlighting that because in truth, its not something to worry about.

The only bit of practical advice I can offer is to make sure your own account is private, and also , if you can confide in a good friend/teacher in the school, have a chat with them about it, you will probably notice by the grin on their face that you are making a big deal out of nothing.

woodchuck

Brutal Deluxe wrote: »

Just message the fella and explain something like "sorry about that friend reuqest, was on a touchscreen and hit the wrong button, that's why I cancelled it".

To be honest I wouldn't even think you should draw attention to it unless someone else brings it up.

Tombi!

woodchuck wrote: »

To be honest I wouldn't even think you should draw attention to it unless someone else brings it up.

Oh I agree. That's why later on I added that I think her best option would just be to ignore it and only tell him what happened if he messages her (or asks her). But yeah, OP like everyone else isaying, sleep on it and realize you just need to get used to touch phones a bit more

Batgurl

You poor thing.

Look, he may not get a notification and even if he does, this is what you should do.

Go into your privacy settings and put your account onto non-viewable by anyone who isn't a friend and non searchable.

That way, even if he does get a notification, it will redirect him to an error page. (trust me I have my account on the highest setting)

Also, maybe consider changing your name to something different. That way if he tries to find you on facebook through the friends of friends, it'll be a different name so he won't even know it was you who added him. Just someone with the same name.

Don't know if that helps, but that's what I would do.

LegacyUser

genuinely thanks so much for all the replies, is helping to put my mind at ease a little. As people have said i made a genuine error and maybe just need to stop worrying so much.

I thought about changing my name or maybe even making my profile non searchable but then kind of felt that if i do that now it will kind of seem like i have something to hide to these students as i know they have searched for my profile before so know my account name. Maybe in a few weeks i might change name, just going to be a lot more careful on facebook and phone especialy!

Best case scenario they wont actually have got an email so this is a total non issue and worse case scenario if it comes up when i return to school as people here said I just make clear I hit a wrong button completely by accident and immediately deleted the request?

LegacyUser

Just to say my account as and always has been totally private so that if people searched and found me literally all they would get is my name and profile picture

Ciks

Just block him and none of your details will come up if he tries to find your page, etc. He might have gotten the email notification as others said but assuming he's a very active user chances are he gets dozens of emails from Facebook and probably doesn't even look at them.
Don't overthink it

irishbarb

If it were me, I wouldn't go blocking him, changing my name or changing my settings on Facebook, since you know students have probably already looked you up on Facebook it will look like you have something to hide. You cancelled the request, don't do or say anything unless you are asked about it. If you are, just say exactly what happened.

LegacyUser

Thats how i feel about it at the moment Barb, i know that pupils in this class will have searched and found me before so if i block them it just seems like i did something wrong. I honestly hope/ think i didnt, it was a genuine mistake so if they did get an email and if or when it mentioned I'l just say what happened??

Thank you, will try to stop worrying

Ellsbells

In tears all day? That's a big over reaction. If anyone mentions it to you then explain what happened. No big deal!

Daisy M

You have no reason to be upset or worried about this, its not a big deal.

I dont get emails anymore for friend requests or indeed for anything from facebook, there used to be a time when I was inundated with emails about crap but they must have changed this now.

OP there's absolutely nothing to worry about.

No one will say anything. If they do, simply explain you clicked a button by accident. Happens all the time to everyone.

I'm sure you've noticed that if you even hover over a name you don't know, a little box comes up with their cover photo and there's a friend button in it. I don't know if this would come up on your mobile but it does on computers. This makes it so easy to friend someone by accident. So if you are asked anything about it, you don't even have to admit to checking out the profile, just say the name looked familiar, you hovered over it, and when moving the mouse off it you accidentally clicked the friend request button. No one would ever hold it against you.

I know being a teacher is tricky business in terms of making sure your professionalism is never questioned, but honestly, NO ONE would hold an accidental click of a button against you, especially since you've withdrawn the request.

Mousewar

Of course if you want to find out exactly what the student received in terms of notifications/emails just repeat the process with one of your friends (Obviously defriend them first). You'll know the situation then for sure.

However, like everyone else says - genuine mistake and frankly even if it wasn't I'm not sure you could really be accused of much anyway.

But then again, I'm not on facebook so not sure how that all works...

Canard

Might have been said already but 99% of people dont ever read their emails from Facebook - sure why would you when its all there as soon as you log on! :P Because of that, I find that half the time I dont even get emails from it - I might get something like "x liked your status" but then it wont tell me when someone's commented on it. Dont worry!

If its any consolation a few teachers in my school add students and I even have two of my teachers added - I dont think its as weird as some people make it out to be.

rainbowtrout

Unreg 1234 wrote: »

Thats how i feel about it at the moment Barb, i know that pupils in this class will have searched and found me before so if i block them it just seems like i did something wrong. I honestly hope/ think i didnt, it was a genuine mistake so if they did get an email and if or when it mentioned I'l just say what happened??

Thank you, will try to stop worrying

So what if you block them? Why are you worrying about what students think of your profile settings on FB? I have my profile set so it doesn't come up in search results. You are entitled to change your privacy settings at any time, which may include blocking students if you feel you want to. You don't have to justify this to any student. I've had a number of FB requests from students in the past and have rejected all of them. I've been asked by the same students why I've rejected them and they all get a stock response 'You are a student in my class and I am your teacher, I am not your friend'.

Stop worrying about it. You've cancelled the request. Move on.

RoscommonTom

Good chance he might think it was just one of he lads in his class messing and sending friend request from fake acounts, dont worry about it,

Midnight Sundance

Would you maybe put your user name to Irish? I changed my 2nd name to my irish name and it stopped requests from parents or kids from school .

sashafierce

This post has been deleted.

Ham Sambo

Unreg 1234 wrote: »

Going unregistered for this because i am so embarrassed. Was logged into my facebook when i got a notification in which a pupil in the school i teach in was mentioned, how or why i dont know but there are a couple of mutual friends from assistants who worked in the school. I clicked on the post and before i knew anything else it said friend request sent. i was abselutely panicked and cancelled the request straight away but im sure they will have got a notification

How do i react to this, have been sick to my stomach all day and so upset. Have turned down numerous requests from students in the past and would never accept students or have any interaction with students on facebook. I am sure everyone in the school will soon know what happened, how do i deal with this, am going to spend my whole summer worrying about this.
Do i just deny that i sent the friend request and say iy must have been someone messing? I 150% would never befreiend a student, i am so upset here, am basically in tears all day. Work in a reasonably small town and my reputation will be ruined.

Simple... just block them from viewing your FB account.