Turned away from gay bar ?

rain10

I know there was an old thread covering this topic but it hasnt been updated or wrote on in a while
Basically i'm straight but going out with a few gay friends this weekend, i've heard great things about gay bars and it sounds great fun, looking forward to just having a few drinks and dance, but i'm a girly girl, i wear dresses/ heels , not anyway over the top but with the risk of sounding incorrect, i dont look ''gay'' as some bouncers stereotype, I'm just wondering will I be refused ? It would be quite embaressing and cant see why I should but ive heard it happening a lot because girls come up in heels and dresses and bouncers saying ''not tonight or questioning when you were last here ? ..:/ advice??

baby and crumble

There's no point in saying you won't possibly get stopped/ told/ hinted that it's a gay bar. But they really shouldn't be refusing you because of the way you look. However, it happens to my girlfriend if she's not with me, and she's pretty stereotypical straight girl to look at.

StanMcConnell

I've gotten a few, "Do you know what kind of bar this is?" from bouncers before, but not got an outright refusal before (at least not while sober). Most likely you'd be fine.

face1990

I've gotten the 'You know this is a gay bar?' before, but a lot of time that's just genuinely to let you know, so that it doesn't slowly dawn on you once you're inside!

If you did get refused I'd suggest taking your business elsewhere (if the group is willing to do so). If it's Dublin you're going to, there's lots of good gay bars. And generally the nicer bars are the also the ones with nicer bouncers.

Or, if you're going out with some girls, perhaps pretend one of them is your girlfriend at least till you get in the door?

LegacyUser

There is no dress code. I've seen several girls in gay night clubs wearing dresses and heals and none wearing dungarees and smoking cigars.

Annasopra

I don't think it's a major problem to be honest.

stephen_n

I don't think it's really an issue for Girls!

kaz_corcoran

Haven't had it happen to me, my girlfriend and a group of her friends did get it in London though, were told that none of them 'looked' gay. I often go out in a dress/shoes, and the odd time have been asked have I been into the bar before, and even a 'you do know this is a gay bar?' but never been refused. As long as you're not incredibly drunk/look like a trouble maker you'll be fine

bodice ripper

stephen_n wrote: »

I don't think it's really an issue for Girls!

I was asked to leave a bar because they were having a gay night. When I pointed out that I was bisexual and my girlfriend was lesbian, we were asked to leave cause we are female. holy ****.

Daith

bodice ripper wrote: »

I was asked to leave a bar because they were having a gay night. When I pointed out that I was bisexual and my girlfriend was lesbian, we were asked to leave cause we are female. holy ****.

Myself and two male gay mates were told to leave a lesbian bar because we weren't "members". Place was empty!

stephen_n

bodice ripper wrote: »

I was asked to leave a bar because they were having a gay night. When I pointed out that I was bisexual and my girlfriend was lesbian, we were asked to leave cause we are female. holy ****.

But that seems to be a gender issue not a sexuality one. Most cases of people being turned away from dual gender bars and clubs, seem to be guys not looking gay enough where as girls do not seem to be stopped for looking too fem!

L1011

bodice ripper wrote: »

I was asked to leave a bar because they were having a gay night. When I pointed out that I was bisexual and my girlfriend was lesbian, we were asked to leave cause we are female. holy ****.

Admittedly, I seriously doubt you'd have wanted to be at a men-only night. Seeing as what the Ladies often get used for...

bodice ripper

MYOB wrote: »

Admittedly, I seriously doubt you'd have wanted to be at a men-only night. Seeing as what the Ladies often get used for...

Not really the point, to be honest. I was already in the bar for an hour, it wasn't a private club. It was absolute bull****.

MultiUmm

The one time I went to Chambers I got the "You do know we cater for the LGBT community?" but I think it was more of a friendly foreword just in case we weren't actually aware it was a gay bar. The staff were lovely there in fairness, and the barman was some looker. Not sure about the other bar/ club in Cork (all two of 'em :pac:) but I've never heard of anyone being turned away yet.

Aurongroove

I dress quite straight (apparently) but I've become notorious in the G at least thanks to my karaoke antics. The bouncers just step aside like I'm a Mafia gangster.

Apparently it;s common knowledge that most of the busy gay bars in Dublin start bouncing straight people first. I've spoken to some buddies of mine (straight) who were planning a night out in either G or Dragon and one of them said "no, we'll never get in if it's pride week"
I looked shocked, but she just shrugged her shoulders.

rainbowdrop

My straight friend got turned away from Chambers last night, fairly pissed off about it to be honest. And it was definitely because she was straight, even though the bouncer gave a few different reason's reasons for not letting her in before admitting it.

Myself and 2 friends (all female) approached the door together, and the bouncer pointed to me and one of the girls (we're both obviously lesbian) and said 'the two of ye can go in' he then pointed to my other friend, who is straight and was wearing a dress/heels and said 'not tonight, you had too much to drink'. I wouldn't mind, but she was only after a couple of drinks and was far from drunk. He then said 'we're full'. When we pointed out to him that the place was half-empty, he specifically said to my friend 'You wouldn't enjoy this kind of place anyway, try Cubins (uber straight Cork niteclub), it would be more your scene'.

To be fair, the other bouncers seemed ok, and said they had no problem letting the 3 of us in, but the main bouncer had said no to my friend, and there was nothing they could do.......

Have been to Chambers loads of times and never been turned away, but I won't be back there again because of that one bouncer and his prick of an atitude

spurious

rainbowdrop wrote: »

<snip>
Have been to Chambers loads of times and never been turned away, but I won't be back there again because of that one bouncer and his prick of an atitude

Write to the manager and tell him/her.
Nothing will change otherwise.