Ex is also a colleague...

sessionone

Hi all,

I've been going out with a girl, who happens to be my colleague. She started as an intern, but eventually got a permanent position. We got together accidentally, when she still was an intern; got really really drunk and woke up in my bed. Our f.... buddy situation lasted for about 7 months, she then decided to go back to her ex, but for some reason eventually ended up with me.

Our relationship was really passionate, but at the same time very intense. However, after 6 months, none of us could stand each other any more, and we decided it's enough.

My problem is that I see her everyday. I still have strong feelings for her, was entertaining the idea that we might work on it, but last week I found out that she already has another guy (a month after we broke up, perhaps even less). She is very very pretty, way out of my league, and when I see her, I get really nervous. I know that it's probably down to me being jealous, and I hope this will pass soon. We don't work in the same department, and I'm trying not to go to where she's sitting, but everyday she comes down to our department to chat to the girls, to do this and that.

I would like some advice on how should I go about this. We're both mature people, but I feel like I am acting like a moron. I'm either glancing at her, or sit all seriuos, or pretend I don't see her. I really hate how I'm feeling right now.

Any ideas? Thanks. Sorry if this is a bit long....

SineadMarie

Must be so hard seeing her everyday, are you still friends? I know you have strong feelings for this girl but shes with someone else now. You's tried and it didn't work out just remember that and try move on, go out and enjoy yourself and spend time with friends. In work just get on with it and try not think of her as your ex just another work colleague. I wish you all the best.

DangerMouse27

Hey sessionone.

There is only one thing you can do. Move on. Forget about her and go and live your life. Im pretty sure you are going to meet someone incredible who will want the whole 9 yards with you.
Have a look outside the workplace, or even the local pub or nite club and even the town. Expand your horizons.
Go home and put away anything thats hers in a box in the wardrobe. Put on some cheery music and tell yourself that tmrw is the start of new you! Go get em Tiger.

We have all been there.

sessionone

Thank you, guys.

She did say that she wants to remain friends, because it's easier for HER, but I don't believe in that and I told her that I don't want this friendship. To me it's all or nothing.

I am trying to move on, I know that it's just a matter of time. I've been through worse, definitely.

Of course, seeing her every day is hard, and she knows how I feel. It's like she does it on purpose. Even today she comes down with two bottles of wine and asks me whether the wine is alright. I try it, yes, I say, it's ok. Then later she comes for a bit of shoulder massage from our girls, and sits next to my desk. I sit at mine, answering emails and I'm boiling inside!!!!! Perhaps it's my problem that I'm finding it so hard to deal with it, but it is very annoying and distracting.

Thanks.

den87

Hey OP, I am in your situation (kinda), I work with my ex every day and we were together for nearly 5 years, it sucks and is in no way easy. The best advice I can offer is be as professional as you can be, a simple hi and bye every day will do, you don't have to chat to her.

even if you don't wanna be friends, just be professional, give her nothing to say. I think women find it easier to move on from my own experience, dont be friends with her if you don't want to, look out for yourself.

sessionone

What makes it even worse, is that at work we are all great friends, we hang out and party together. Now it's strange because when something is on, it's either me not going or her. We also get lots of invitations to informal parties from our partners (which usually are alcohol fuelled, but fun). So now I can't even go to these.

I'm thinking of unfriending her on facebook, but to me it seems a bit desperate. What do you think?

SineadMarie

sessionone wrote: »

What makes it even worse, is that at work we are all great friends, we hang out and party together. Now it's strange because when something is on, it's either me not going or her. We also get lots of invitations to informal parties from our partners (which usually are alcohol fuelled, but fun). So now I can't even go to these.

I'm thinking of unfriending her on facebook, but to me it seems a bit desperate. What do you think?

Yes i would unfriend her on fb and maybe have a chat with her explain that your finding it difficult to move on and if she could respect that by keeping her distance as much as possible until your in a better position to be her friend. I hope your ok i know how hard a break up can be.