Was I rude or ok?

moonrise

I was in a shop today, just at the counter paying for my stuff. It was quite busy and crowded.

Behind the girl who was serving me, another girl appeared who recognized me from being in the shop a few weeks ago because I'd asked her about a particular product. She is a very open and friendly person so she smiled warmly and said Hi, how are you? I just said Hi, but didn't say anything to the question as I was just packing my stuff and that is how I would normally act in that situation.

I didn't think I was unfriendly and certainly didn't intend to be, if I was. Basically, I made eye contact, I may have been a little surprised for a split second, then smiled a little, or made the effort to, but I don't know.

Anyway, when I didn't answer the question, I just heard her saying "oh I'm just happy today". So I guess she had expected me to be more friendly or took offense or something. I felt bad about this afterwards, although maybe she's forgotten about it, as she seems to be a naturally bubbly person who is just always friendly to everyone.

It just makes me feel that there's something wrong though that I can't just suddenly be friendly and open in a situation like that. And to a question like "how are you", what am I supposed to say to that? But then I'm thinking, it's not so much that, because if there had been no-one else around, I'd probably have answered and maybe even chatted a little. I would just like to hear what others think, like if you were in that situation, would you read my response as rude?

StillWaters

I don't think you were rude moonrise, rude would be if you ignored the comment, and left the girl looking foolish.

Me? I'd just have said, 'Hi, I'm good, but <insert typical Irish comment about weather>, yourself?' Its a stock answer which will never see you wrong. Don't stress about it, you did OK.

Dark Phoenix

I don't think you were rude but I also don't think answering 'how are you' is difficult either - just smile and say 'good thanks'?

Big Bag of Chips

Lots of people ask "how are you" and don't expect a reply! "hi" is often a very acceptable response.

Stop over thinking it, you can be certain she thought no more of it.

Daisy M

I think what you said was fine and remember the customer is always right!! Maybe when she made the comment she was actually speaking to someone else who asked her a question like "what has you in such a good mood"?

The_fever

What other people think is absolutely none of your business. Ask yourself what were your motives , did you set out to be unfriendly , no. So give yourself a break.

ncmc

I don’t think you were rude OP, I would say “hi, how are you” to people all the time and wouldn’t expect an answer. You met the girls eye contact and said hello, absolutely perfect response. After all, you don’t know this girl, she just served you once, it’s not like she is a close friend who would expect you to get into a whole big chat. Stop worrying OP and forget about it, I guarantee she has!

Just an aside on the “hi, how are you” thing, my husband always says it; in that Irish way that doesn’t expect a response. When we were in America last year, I had to tell him to stop saying it to every shop assistant etc, as they always answered “I’m fine, how are you” and a whole conversation would start! I think it’s just in Ireland that this question doesn’t require an answer!

wylo

I think she sounds more rude tbh, because she expected you to engage and reacted when you didnt, then again, she might have just been joking/sarcastic.

snafuk35

moonrise wrote: »

I was in a shop today, just at the counter paying for my stuff. It was quite busy and crowded.

Behind the girl who was serving me, another girl appeared who recognized me from being in the shop a few weeks ago because I'd asked her about a particular product. She is a very open and friendly person so she smiled warmly and said Hi, how are you? I just said Hi, but didn't say anything to the question as I was just packing my stuff and that is how I would normally act in that situation.

I didn't think I was unfriendly and certainly didn't intend to be, if I was. Basically, I made eye contact, I may have been a little surprised for a split second, then smiled a little, or made the effort to, but I don't know.

Anyway, when I didn't answer the question, I just heard her saying "oh I'm just happy today". So I guess she had expected me to be more friendly or took offense or something. I felt bad about this afterwards, although maybe she's forgotten about it, as she seems to be a naturally bubbly person who is just always friendly to everyone.

It just makes me feel that there's something wrong though that I can't just suddenly be friendly and open in a situation like that. And to a question like "how are you", what am I supposed to say to that? But then I'm thinking, it's not so much that, because if there had been no-one else around, I'd probably have answered and maybe even chatted a little. I would just like to hear what others think, like if you were in that situation, would you read my response as rude?

You weren't rude. You said "hi." If you are bit shy there's nothing wrong with that. You'd be in trouble if you swore at her or said something stupid like that. So just relax and the next time a nice girl says hello, say hello back and be more cheerful.

looksee

I had that with a colleague, she said 'how're ye' just as she passed me, I was taken a bit by surprise as I was not paying attention and I just made eyecontact and smiled, but as she walked away I could hear her saying sarcastically 'I'm fine xxxx and how are you'. I put it down to her ignorance as firstly I hadn't ignored her, I had acknowledged her, secondly 'how are you' doesn't require a lengthy speech in reply, and thirdly making a production of a casual greeting in a busy environment is a bit childish.

robman60

Personally, I'd consider "Hi" and "How are you?" as similar greetings. I don't always reply to how are you with an answer about my well-being, I normally just say hi back, especially if I'm caught off guard, so to speak.

I think you're over-thinking this a lot. It's nothing to feel bad about.

Pissarro

You weren't rude at all. You're a more private person than she is. You acknowledged her and smiled. In Ireland when we say "How are you?" we don't, in my experience, mean it literally" and accept responses like "Oh hello XXX and so on. If her response was sarcastic then I'd say she was a moody individual who hadn't enough cop-on to realise that just as many people would respond as you did as there are people who know her well who would launch into a short conversation. She may be a friendly person but also one who oscillates between being too friendly to moody. You're a polite person - don't give the matter any more brain space.