Friend thinks I'm weird because I won't ''shift'' randomers

LegacyUser

I'm 19, when I was younger I used to shift randomers at night clubs like a lot of young teens do, but I feel like I've just grown out of that now, I find it disgusting and don't see anything attractive about mauling the face off some young, pissed fella. My friend just doesn't understand it, she even asked me was I not attracted to men last night because I wouldn't shift her cousin. I told her it's because I don't know him and he's younger then me. She asked me how did I ever expect to meet a guy then, and I said I prefer when we're out at pubs and a guy introduces himself and you get chatting. She went on to say fine so when we are out at a pub next we'll get you a guy. She just doesn't get that I'm not into kissing strangers, nor am I that bothered about finding a boyfriend. It's really annoying me and I don't think it's any of her business either.

I just need to find the right words to explain to her how I feel about it. I feel like she is starting to put pressure on me to shift random lads when I don't find anything appealing about that any more. I think I've matured and want to meet guys in a more traditional way. She just doesn't get it. Any advice?

tinkerbell

Your friend sounds like a right tool tbh, I'd be telling her to STFU and to mind her own god damn business. It is not her concern who you kiss or not kiss, she sounds like a right immature idiot - what next, she starts lecturing you about not wanting to sleep with randomers? Tell her either she drops it or you'll be dropping her because that is NOT how friends treat each other - you do not pressurise your friends into doing stuff they don't wanna do .....

leahyl

OP, don't let your 'friends' pressure you into anything, you do what YOU want to do and not anything to please someone else!

Your love life is completely your own business and you need to tell her as such. She thinks you won't meet anyone unless you shift random guys in nightclubs - how naive

ugh, seriously your friend sounds as if she is 15 years old.
shifting randomers??

just tell her you dont find people attractive until you get to know them. this is true for me and its all i ever told people ( including the randomers who drunkenly try to throw the gob on me!! )
nothing in it for you, shifting strangers that you dont find attractive!!

Esoteric_

I know plenty of people who will kiss randomers in bars, and each to their own.

However, you're well within your rights to not want to do this (and quite smart for choosing not to!). Let's face it, if you're all over a guy in a bar, the last thing he's gonna be looking for is a relationship.

I'd be blunt about it. Just be like 'I don't like kissing strangers, I want to get to know people and to be honest, it's not like I'm gonna go home with a stranger, which is all guys expect if I'm all over them in a bar.'

If she can't or won't accept that, then it might be time to find new friends to go out with. Your friend should respect your decision, because it's a thing that everyone grows out of.