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About to be single after 12 years - Where to now??

  • 02-07-2012 12:32am
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    Hi all,

    Going unreg for this. I'm 29 and about to finish with my partner of 12 years and I'm all over the place. The relationship ran it's course long ago but I've only just found the courage to get out for the sake of my sanity and well being. He's not a bad guy, just not the guy for me.

    The thing is, we're living abroad and I have very few friends here, just 1 in fact. I am hoping to move into a house with a few people so I'm sure I'll make friends with them but I really need to make more friends. I work with people who are all 10+ years older than me so making friends through work is pretty impossible. I have joined meetup.com and am hoping to go to some of the outings but as yet haven't been brave enough to attend one.

    I've been part of a couple for so long the thought of being alone is both overwhelming & terrifying. I like to think I'm quite an independent person and I do enjoy my own company (to a point) but the whole thing is just so daunting.

    I am about to get residency in the country I'm in (on the head of my soon to be ex partner having a skill that is needed here) but it was always my plan to go home when things picked up back there but at the moment it looks like that's a long way off and to be completely honest, I've been away from home for so long now I don't know if I'd ever settle back home again but I do miss my family & friends terribly. It's pretty bad timing with the residency visa too, I'm sure people will think I only stayed with him to get it but that's not the case at all.

    I am coming home at Christmas for 5 weeks and I don't know whether to just stay at home and try and make a go of things at home or come back out here. I reckon if I had a nice circle of friends, I wouldn't mind being here 'alone' so much. I would also obviously like to meet somebody special but after 12 years in a relationship I think some fun and 'me' time is on the cards for awhile.

    I'm just so confused about it all. I really need to concentrate on getting out of the relationship and the apartment we share and having some time to myself to be able to think straight but at the moment my head is just so messed up, I can't see the woods for the trees. I haven't spoken to anybody about this yet (until now) so this probably isn't helping the situation!!

    Any advise or words of wisdom would be greatly appreciated.

    Sorry for the long post and thanks in advance...


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