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Just a story...

Caros · 2012-07-01 10:17:52

I was speaking to someone yesterday, she's actually going to be the mother of my step grandchild later this year. She also has a little boy who will be 3 today. I knew she had been adopted but doesn't have a relationship with her adopted mother for the last few years so I just asked her had her adopted Mother ever met her…

01-07-2012 10:17am

#1

Caros

Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 578 ✭✭✭

Join Date: September 2008

Posts: 558

I was speaking to someone yesterday, she's actually going to be the mother of my step grandchild later this year. She also has a little boy who will be 3 today. I knew she had been adopted but doesn't have a relationship with her adopted mother for the last few years so I just asked her had her adopted Mother ever met her little fellow, (just at birth). Then I asked if she'd ever looked into meeting her birth Mom and then the whole story came out. I'm aghast to be honest and just need to share the story.

21 years ago her mother found herself pregnant and had the baby adopted. Forgive my prejudices and ignorance but I presumed this was a young girl and I felt I knew where she was coming from - could have been myself if my ovaries had ever worked!

Bio Mom was either separated/widowed, had 5 children, and didn't want a child out of wedlock. This is not in the 50's or 60's or 70's, 'twas in 1991!! The lady's 16 year old daughter wanted to keep the baby and rear it as her own, now there's a turn around of events!

So there was an open adoption for the first 4 years and the Bio Mom would visit with her child and bring along some of her siblings, but the child was very confused with it all and had some behavoural problems so the Social workers insisted the adoption be closed.

Then at 14 the child's bio grandparent died and her adopted mother brought her to the funeral and she met her bio Mom and other family members again. 14 yr old couldn't cope with all this and the relationship with her adopted Mom took a nose dive and she ended up going to live with her Dad in another country and has had little or no contact with adopted Mom since.

I don't know why I'm putting the story here, I just feel so sad about it all - sad for the child most of all, sad for her mother who gave her up ( but also mad at her), sad for her siblings, sad for her adopted mother, the whole 9 yards!

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