Straight dating trans

innominat

Id like to know peoples views on this. Some background first.
I'm seeing a ladyboy(shes Thai and uses the word herself). She is dancer from a cabaret and has moved to Europe where she still performs.
I am not interested in her "man bits" and she is a total bottom. She views herself as a woman.
I'm wondering am I straight or am I bi? Does a label like this even matter?
I'm not interested in more manly ladyboys(no offense to them) but I find myself attracted to some of the more feminine ones.
The sky programme about ladyboys has helped me bring the subject up with family.
They think we are just friends. And im wondering will I say a bit more?
I think this is might be a short term relationship(by that I mean not lifelong) we have been together in some form since 2010. I might not end up with another ladyboy.
Is it worth saying to family, which might damage their view of me, if I more than likely will end up with someone else in the the more long term.

wonderfulname

When you see her do you see a woman? Are you attracted to her as a woman?

I can see how it could be a bit of a head spinner but if you answered yes I'd still call you straight, and I'd call it a heterosexual relationship anyway.

As for telling your family, that's not up to you alone. If she's comfortable with it then you can weigh it up.

innominat

thanks for the response wonder.
Yes I see a woman and I am attracted to her as such.
My family are aware that the two of us are friends. And she herself has dropped hints about telling them.
She is planning on coming to Ireland soon so we might say something then.
My family have been very understanding with her being a ladyboy and seem kind of ok with it.

baby and crumble

@Deus Ex Machina. If you have nothing constructive to add, please don't break the forum charter. This isn't AH.

wonderfulname

I'm going to bow out because I simply don't have advice to give there, I don't know your situation enough to, good luck though.

Shakti

innominat wrote: »

Is it worth saying to family, which might damage their view of me, if I more than likely will end up with someone else in the the more long term.

The hard questions then..

How would it damage their view of you?

What do you mean by "someone else" ?

Are you suggesting that trans people are not suitable for a ltr?

filmbuffboy

if it is only going to be a short term relationship, then why do you feel the need to tell them?

personally, from my point of view, i would only ever tell family about a relationship if it was serious and going somewhere and thats only ever happened once.

Chuchoter

2 years is not a short term thing. If she's coming to Ireland to visit you and talking about telling the family, you need to set her straight if you don't see this going anywhere because otherwise I feel like you're leading her on a little bit.

downwithpeace

Truth be told family isn't for ever, families can fracture at the smallest thing, you telling yours that you like a woman that use to be a man will probably become the excuse for something unnecessary, at the end of the day if people dislike you for something like attraction do you really want to think of them as family.

Be yourself.

innominat

Shakti wrote: »

The hard questions then..

How would it damage their view of you?

What do you mean by "someone else" ?

Are you suggesting that trans people are not suitable for a ltr?

Some people have a negative view I know this as it has already damaged my relationship with people I no longer consider friends.
I mean someone else in that I feel this relationship might run its course. Our life goals are very different, something I feel needs to be in sync for a really long term relationship

I'm not suggesting trans people are not suitable for long term relationships

innominat

Chuchoter wrote: »

2 years is not a short term thing. If she's coming to Ireland to visit you and talking about telling the family, you need to set her straight if you don't see this going anywhere because otherwise I feel like you're leading her on a little bit.

Thats what I have been thinking of. I am worried that I am leading her on a bit. But I could still see us together in another year or two. 2 or 3 years yes 20 maybe not

filmbuffboy

if you only see yourself with her for another couple of years tops, then you seriously need to ask yourself if its worth the risk of telling your family. they might take it badly, they might not. but once youve told them, you cant undo it! and all for someone youre not going to be with for life?

Shakti

innominat wrote: »

Some people have a negative view I know this as it has already damaged my relationship with people I no longer consider friends.

Do you not think that in reality what has really happened is they have damaged their relationship with you, I don't see how them being prejudiced is you or your partners fault.

innominat

Shakti wrote: »

Do you not think that in reality what has really happened is they have damaged their relationship with you, I don't see how them being prejudiced is you or your partners fault.

Yes you are very right I just worded it awkwardly.

Hamhide

I'm transgendered and i'm a full time female for about a year now.I met my boyfriend about 2 years ago when i was just thinking of transitationing.We were in a gay relationship at the time and now its a hetro one.I know where your comming from and its a total mindf*ck but in the end,if you love her and she loves you then its doesnt really matter what kind of relationship you're in,just be happy with what u got.My boyfriend was in a closet when we first dated.first he had to tell his family he's gay and now he just told them that I'm trans.It's a crazy gay world we live in i'm just happy our lives arnt boring.

Azure_sky

Firstly, I personally believe no one is literally 100% anything, but you seem to be leaning towards the straight end of the spectrum.
Does she know that you view this as, most likely, a short-term thing?

innominat

Azure_sky wrote: »

Does she know that you view this as, most likely, a short-term thing?

I honestly dont know what I want from her. We will likely remain together for sometime.
Been together 2 years already and time has flown. I think its best not to plan it and leave it progress naturally.

Azure_sky

innominat wrote: »

I honestly dont know what I want from her. We will likely remain together for sometime.
Been together 2 years already and time has flown. I think its best not to plan it and leave it progress naturally.

Sounds like you're more or less in the same boat as any other couple.

Finally a woman

Hamhide wrote: »

I'm transgendered and i'm a full time female for about a year now.I met my boyfriend about 2 years ago when i was just thinking of transitationing.We were in a gay relationship at the time and now its a hetro one.I know where your comming from and its a total mindf*ck but in the end,if you love her and she loves you then its doesnt really matter what kind of relationship you're in,just be happy with what u got.My boyfriend was in a closet when we first dated.first he had to tell his family he's gay and now he just told them that I'm trans.It's a crazy gay world we live in i'm just happy our lives arnt boring.

Don't mind me ask Hamhide, are you pre op or post op, sometimes that can make a difference, Im post op a number of years now, my Fiancé is completely straight and didn't know I was trans, I only tolded him when we got engaged, was a bit of a shock, but he now fully excepts me as a woman, he has ever only known me as a woman, he says he could never see me as a guy, he has never tolded his family and thats ok, its our business, I don't think he could ever handle his family knowing that his wife use to be a ''man'' its just so complicated, why even go there, Im now enjoying my life now as a very fullfilled woman, just another ordinary housewife.

Hamhide

wow im dead jelious lol, i'm pre-op for now,still kinda thinking about the big op,i dont really hate my bits unlike some trans girls.

Finally a woman

Hamhide wrote: »

i dont really hate my bits unlike some trans girls.

It was never a question of hating my bits, transition is a long process, it took me too long, nearly 12years, starting on hormones, then FFS, I had a fear of the final surgery, I had my Mother to thank who encourage me to take the final step and complete my transition, I never hated my male bits, but after having FFS, then a breast augmentation, breast implants, it just completed my transition when I had srs, as my user name says, Im now Finally a woman.

Hamhide

thats great for u,i'm just about to start hormones next month,i'm on blockers at the moment,i'm so excited about it! its a big step like u said but one i'll probably deffo take

atkin

innominat wrote: »

Id like to know peoples views on this. Some background first.
I'm seeing a ladyboy(shes Thai and uses the word herself). She is dancer from a cabaret and has moved to Europe where she still performs.
I am not interested in her "man bits" and she is a total bottom. She views herself as a woman.
I'm wondering am I straight or am I bi? Does a label like this even matter?
I'm not interested in more manly ladyboys(no offense to them) but I find myself attracted to some of the more feminine ones.
The sky programme about ladyboys has helped me bring the subject up with family.
They think we are just friends. And im wondering will I say a bit more?
I think this is might be a short term relationship(by that I mean not lifelong) we have been together in some form since 2010. I might not end up with another ladyboy.
Is it worth saying to family, which might damage their view of me, if I more than likely will end up with someone else in the the more long term.

In my case keep it secret My family did not like it even when I had a foreign women. I keep my Ladyboy friend secret.

atkin

Finally a woman wrote: »

It was never a question of hating my bits, transition is a long process, it took me too long, nearly 12years, starting on hormones, then FFS, I had a fear of the final surgery, I had my Mother to thank who encourage me to take the final step and complete my transition, I never hated my male bits, but after having FFS, then a breast augmentation, breast implants, it just completed my transition when I had srs, as my user name says, Im now Finally a woman.

I do not want to worry you .I had a Thai Ladyboy friend who had the complete gender op very realistic !! The only problem 5 years after she still gets sick and has lost her strength.

Annasopra

atkin wrote: »

I do not want to worry you .I had a Thai Ladyboy friend who had the complete gender op very realistic !! The only problem 5 years after she still gets sick and has lost her strength.

You're giving stories about your wife and views about immigration on different forums around boards.ie so I don't think we can take you too seriously. Any problems PM me

Finally a woman

atkin wrote: »

I do not want to worry you .I had a Thai Ladyboy friend who had the complete gender op very realistic !! The only problem 5 years after she still gets sick and has lost her strength.

I don't get your point quoting my post, or the individual situation of your Thai Ladyboy friend who Im begining to wonder does or doesn't exist. Your post has the look of a trolling post
''You don't want to worry me'' you certainly don't worry me, thank you for your concern lol, Im post op over 20years and Im a very healthy fulltime housewife, enjoying my life as a woman, doing the things that girls and women do.

Sin City

op don't worry about being labled or.put into any box. if you like this person don't be afraid what anyone thinks.