New Girlfriends Issues

LegacyUser

My wife and I split up after 15 years of marriage, we both married young and both of us did not have many relationships prior to getting married.
I've started seeing a woman and we moved in together, she's great we get along very well, I found photos on her camera of her and another guy taken not too long before we met, and to be honest it left me wondering if I was the best of a bad lot in terms of men, a friend of hers said something to me when she was drunk.

I'm beginning to think maybe she's a slapper and I can do better than her, on the other hand she introduced me to her family and brought me to her house and I was told I was the 1st man she did those things with.

I'm very confused,  we all have history, me included, maybe I'm an idiot for thinking this, maybe jealously as I did not have many partners,  maybe still raw from the marriage and i jumped for the 1st woman who looked twice at me, I don't know, 

Anny Hall

Hi Op,

To be blunt you sound like you are the one with issues here not your girlfriend.

Am presuming she was single when she was dating and perhaps made some bad choices. Referring to her as a slapper is incredibly rude and disrespectful and sounds like you have a bit of a warped perception of women.

Perhaps you are bitter as you never got to play the field. Would that have made you a slapper? Don't take your stuff out on this girl.

nowyouresix

What was the rush to move in with her??? Surely you could have made up your mind of whether you thought she was a slapper or not before you made such a BIG gesture... Now you realise she's introduced you to everyone important in her life, and are getting cold feet?????
Do her a favour, move back out and get over your marriage a while....play the field if you wish, but don't be so unfair as to give the impression that you are going to settle with her, when your opinion of her is obviously low, and you don't seem to trust her....

batsherlashes

I think its a bit of jealousy to be honest. Surely you don't really believe she's a slapper because there's pictures of her with a man from before she met you?

She seems to be making an effort by introducing you to her family and must have strong feelings for you. Maybe you're not ready for another serious relationship yet and you should take things slow and keep your options open if you're not sure about this girl? If you already think you can do better, that's not really the best sign for the start of the relationship.

But I do think its more of a personal issue or not fully feeling interested in the girl rather than her having done anything to suggest she's playing you.

Herrick

Advise2012 wrote: »

My wife and I split up after 15 years of marriage, we both married young and both of us did not have many relationships prior to getting married.
I've started seeing a woman and we moved in together, she's great we get along very well, I found photos on her camera of her and another guy taken not too long before we met, and to be honest it left me wondering if I was the best of a bad lot in terms of men, a friend of hers said something to me when she was drunk.

I'm beginning to think maybe she's a slapper and I can do better than her, on the other hand she introduced me to her family and brought me to her house and I was told I was the 1st man she did those things with.

I'm very confused,  we all have history, me included, maybe I'm an idiot for thinking this, maybe jealously as I did not have many partners,  maybe still raw from the marriage and i jumped for the 1st woman who looked twice at me, I don't know, 

What exactly was her friends comment? Forget the slapper comment. Are you worried that you are only some sort of runner up prize or something for her because it didn't work out with the other guy?

Ellsbells

You use words like slapper to describe the person you are living with and you think you can do better???

daisybelle2008

Advise2012 wrote: »

I'm beginning to think maybe she's a slapper and I can do better than her,

maybe I'm an idiot

I don't know what cave you crawled out of, but times have moved on. Referring to any woman, never mind one you are in a relationship with, as a slapper, is severely backward.

I don't think you can do better, in fact I am surprised you have done this well considering your attitude.

Trying not to be too hard on you here, but you are making it difficult :cool:. You did rush into the relationship, so maybe take some time out to find a civil attitude to women and life in general. Get some self respect and treat people equitably. Sort out your issues and attitude.

Maybe be single and try to get to know yourself a bit better. You are all over the shop with your backward opinions and negative suppositions and seem to be a bit unstable emotionally to be honest.

One minute you girlfriend is 'great', next you are putting her down, all in a few sentences. ....Seriously you are a bit scary with your camera checking and crazy notions.

Beruthiel

Advise2012 wrote: »

I'm beginning to think maybe she's a slapper and I can do better than her

Break it off with her.
She deserves to find someone less judgmental.
She deserves to be with someone who cares enough for her not to call her a slapper.
She deserves to be with someone who thinks that she is the best thing since slices bread.
She deserves to be with someone who KNOWS they couldn't do better.

You don't deserve her and with the attitude you have towards her, you shouldn't be with her.
You have no respect for her.
That is not the basis of a good relationship.

Lorna123

Advise2012 wrote: »

My wife and I split up after 15 years of marriage, we both married young and both of us did not have many relationships prior to getting married.
I've started seeing a woman and we moved in together, she's great we get along very well, I found photos on her camera of her and another guy taken not too long before we met, and to be honest it left me wondering if I was the best of a bad lot in terms of men, a friend of hers said something to me when she was drunk.

I'm beginning to think maybe she's a slapper and I can do better than her, on the other hand she introduced me to her family and brought me to her house and I was told I was the 1st man she did those things with.

I'm very confused, we all have history, me included, maybe I'm an idiot for thinking this, maybe jealously as I did not have many partners, maybe still raw from the marriage and i jumped for the 1st woman who looked twice at me, I don't know,

How long have you been with the new woman? Did you get to know her first before you moved in with her? So you found photos of her and another man on her phone, what sort of photos and more importantly were they doing something that made you think she is a slapper. Also, her friend must have said something very derogatory about your gf to have provoked all this anxiety. What do you think of her yourself? Has she done anything on you to make you think she is a slapper?

SheFiend

OP that sounds like you're better off leaving her. I can't see you being happy with her if you're so offended that she was seing someone before you. I can't imagine she would find such an old fashioned view attractive.

XarcherX

you saw one picture and a few words from a drunk friend and she's now labelled a slapper and not good enough for you?!
no offence but it seems you have been out of the dating scene a long time. Maybe you are better off leaving her OP and be single for a while, you can't think that highly of her if such little things are putting you off.
You're going to find it extremely difficult to find someone without a past and/or baggage nowadays so maybe you should try being more open-minded

a fat guy

I'm not going to berate you like everyone else, since that's already been done...

But I will mention that you seem to have very old-fashioned notions about women.

Just because she's got a picture of herself with a man doesn't even mean she was having sex with him, let alone that she's a slapper.

Hell, how do you know he wasn't gay? Lot's of girls pretend to be "getting it on" with gay friends as a joke for photo's. You really have to keep an open mind about these things.

mood

Did you honestly expect to meet a woman your own age with no dating/sexual history??? Not everyone meets a long term partner when they are young. This doesn't mean that they will have some history. It's a normal part of life.