How to tell people / family I'm seeing someone

LegacyUser

The title might sound a bit ridiculous but here goes:

I've been seeing a guy for the past couple of months. At first I didn't tell people because, well, you never know how these things are going to and I didn't want people investing too much in it when I was just getting used to the idea myself. [I had been in a relationship last year, introduced him to everyone very quickly, everyone loved him, I didn't... this made it extremely difficult to end it]

So, now I've had time to get to know this guy, enjoy his company and realise it's going somewhere I'd like to start telling people about him. I've told my sister and friends but other family members don't know a thing. The longer it goes on the more awkward it gets to just blurt out "I'm seeing someone". I don't know why it's awkward but it just feels hard to say!

I'm wondering does anyone have any advice on how to come out about this relationship? I could change my status on FB but that's a bit impersonal. I could just text everyone and get it out of the way but that's an easy way out. Any tips / hints would be great... I just want to tell people about him, simple as but saying it plainly seems contrived.

Thanks for any suggestions that may come my way - appreciate it heaps.

GL

Morag

Just mention you have a date, it's not a big deal.

The Lovely Muffin

I agree with Sharrow, it's not a big deal at all.

All you have to say is "I'm seeing someone" or "I have a boyfriend" or something, it really is no big deal.

It seems like a big deal because you are thinking about it too much. In my opinion you are over-thinking it.

When I started going out with my boyfriend, I didn't tell anyone for a while, and then just told them I was seeing someone and that was it.

LittleBook

GraceLandsSafely wrote: »

[I had been in a relationship last year, introduced him to everyone very quickly, everyone loved him, I didn't... this made it extremely difficult to end it]

So, now I've had time to get to know this guy, enjoy his company and realise it's going somewhere I'd like to start telling people about him.

First of all, there's a difference between telling someone you're dating someone and actually introducing them to each other. You could have told every/anyone from the beginning and been under no obligation to introduce them until you were both ready.

GraceLandsSafely wrote: »

I could just text everyone and get it out of the way but that's an easy way out.

I know things have changed since "my day", but do people really do this?

What's wrong with the next time you see someone (who you actually want to know about this) ...

You: Hi, how's it going?
Them: Grand thanks! Any news?
You: Well actually, since you ask, I've met this really nice guy ...

And take it from there, no biggie!

stargazer 68

Op I could have written that post myself! Folks sometimes it is a big deal!!

I have been seeing someone for 4 months - a few people know and some have met him (My sisters and my kids) - however my parents know nothing about him! I'm sure they know Im seeing someone but have never mentioned it and I haven't either. Not really sure how to.

Typing this it does sound daft but I just feel that the less they know the less they can talk about!

OP are you male or female? I don't want to assume you're anything, but if you're male then there is a LGBT forum here, where I'm sure there's loads of people there that would be more than happy to share their experiences with you. If you're female, then it should pretty much be the exact same: the actual announcement of a relationship doesn't matter. Just tell some people, change your Facebook status if you want, or even just tell family members.

Good luck and congratulations on your new relationship

ash23

I have my first "boyfriend" in years.

Initially I told my sisters I was seeing someone. Then as it got more serious I started telling people like my mother, my aunts and my close friends. Just would say things like "Oh by the way, there is someone on the scene" or "I'm dating someone".

After that I just updated my facebook status lol.
Anyone who needed to know already knew there was someone around and the status update just showed it was serious and it let my peripheral friends know (workmates, old school friends etc - people I wouldn't discuss personal stuff with).

It is a bit cringy to start saying it. I felt like a bit of a tool. But it's yesterdays news now. You get a bit of slagging initially but it dies down fairly fast.

ElleEm

I agree with Littlebook... its not that big of a deal. Drop it into conversation with the people you really want to know, and if they are anything like my family/ friends, everybody will know soon!

I think textin people to tell them is so formal and unnecessary . Its turning it into a big deal.

LegacyUser

Hi, @boneyarsebogman I'm actually female & don't require the services of the LGBT society - although thanks for informing me about it! I'm dating a boy.

I don't know why it's awkward but @Dovies kind of touched on it when she mentioned about the less her parents knew the better. I think it's getting awkward because when I'm home with them I find it awkward telling them I have to leave to meet up with my boyfriend... I find I'm making up excuses / things I have to do and the more that continues the weirder the situation!

It is a bit daft, Dovies, but I'm glad you identify with the problem. Obviously, it's not a huge issue or major difficulty and I'll come out with it eventually. I like all the suggestions that have been made so I'll take them on board. I'm meeting my parents later so I might tell them I can't stay long as I'm meeting up with my boyfriend for a drink later.

I'm not sure why I'm having so much difficulty with this... it's hilarious!

Meller

Why do you need to make some big announcement about it to everyone? Can you not just casually bring him in conversation ('oh yeah, this guy I've been seeing is like that, he... yada yada'), or bring him along with you to some event/gathering?

It's a bit weird to text people or announce it as if it's some big news, imo... you're not obliged to give everyone you know constant formal updates about what's going on in your life. They should just find out naturally through conversation.

Herrick

I'm not trying to be smart here but its a bit much having to go out of your way to tell people your seeing someone. I mean why would you need to text family members and say I'm seeing someone.

Why not just leave it until your chatting to people and you can say stuff like "me and my bf were here and..." Then they'll ask and you tell them about him.

woodchuck

I'd just work it into conversation instead of 'announcing' it to people. The next time some asks you if you have any plans for the weekend or if you had a good weekend just mention you went on a date and take it from there...

dellas1979

I dont get the big deal either - is he different in some way that you are scared of their reaction?

Sounds like you are scared of their reaction.

Neyite

I always found it handiest to drop it into conversation with the person who is the biggest gossip in the family...they do all the work in spreading the news

ash23

Neyite wrote: »

I always found it handiest to drop it into conversation with the person who is the biggest gossip in the family...they do all the work in spreading the news

Lol, that's what I did. Mentioned it to one of my sisters and within a day my mother, my other sisters and all our mutual friends knew

Roisy7

Hey OP, I do get that sometimes it can be a big deal!

My mother was so delighted I had found a boyfriend when I dated my ex, she told the entire town! Naturally it didn't last, and I had loads of snoopy neighbours asking me "how's the fella" for ages after it ended. I would never tell her now unless it was getting serious.

Sometimes the less they know the better. Facebook is a bit impersonal, like you said, and there are plenty of snoopers on that too.

You don't have to make a big announcement, just slip it casually into conversation... "I met this guy, it's early days but I like him."