bdd and suicidal

madbev90210

Hi Everyone, I havet posted here in a while as Iv become quite a recluse in real life and virtual life, but I need to talk to someone about this, Basically, I suffer from a mental disorder (body dysmorphic disorder) that leads me to believe I am so hideous looking that I dont deserve to live. I realise it is a mental disorder but I cant shake the thoughts or anxieties or obsessions regarding this and basically either want extensive aesthetic procedures or to not exist ie be dead. This all wouldnt be too bad if I didnt have 2 young sons who despite my deep depression I know still love and need me.
Anyway, I have obviously annoyed my gp over last few years as she got annoyed at me and called me selfish after most recent suicide attempt 2 wks ago and wouldnt put me on pill for my spotty skin as I requested. I know this seems superficial etc but its destroying me and Ill be surprised if Im alive at end of year with this. I have an aunt dying of cancer and Im aware how ridiculous my "problem" seems but its my cancer.. Its killing me and no one can even begin to understand how hopeless and ugly and worthless I feel..
Does anyone know of this disorder and can anyone advise me on what action I could take? I think I owe my sons one last chance at somehow trying to survive for them.. Thank you x

Unfortunately there isn't much advice we can give, as none of us are professionals, however I would look into possibly reporting your GP to whatever body you can. It seems utterly strange and hideous that somebody in their position/profession would call someone selfish.

LegacyUser

op, i really feel for you. BDD is no laughing matter and it sounds as if your GP just isn't as clued up on as they should be, and as other GPs are. i understand how you feel and even though i've never met you i know you're not ugly, and you're asking for help which is such a positive step to take, so i also know you're not helpless. there is help out there.

my advice to you would be go to a different GP and explain exactly what you're going through, see if they can refer to for CBT councelling, or a councellor trained specifically in eating disorders. CBT can be very helpful as it basically retrains the negative thought behaviours and the self criticism you're probably going through. BDD is related to eating disorders, even though people with BDD may or may not necessarily be bulimic/anorexic, etc.. i know i'm not. also, contact bodywhys.ie, they will also have resourses for you, and even reading their website might help, there's a lot to take in there but it's damn good stuff!

you should be very proud of yourself for taking the first step in getting yourself better, both for yourself and your boys. best of luck op. x

Ickle Magoo

If you are feeling suicidal then you need get a referral for professional help. If your own GP is not taking you seriously or acting inappropriately then you need to change GP and find one who can help you.

BDD is a very serious condition and unfortunately we are just not qualified to advise you further. Please change doctors and ask for a referral ASAP - or look into getting a psychologist to help with CBT.

All the very best.