invite etiquette. plus one?

bluesteel1234

Hi, I am just wondering what the norm is for wedding invites. I got an invite to a friends wedding last week and was surprised to see there was no plus guest or plus friend on it. I have never heard of this before and thought it was a bit strange. I have known the bride for the last 10years and am a bit insulted she expects me to go on my own tbh. what are other peoples views?

Bobsammy

I think it depends! Will you know other people at the wedding or will you be on your own? I think if someone won't know anyone else, it's nice to give them a plus one if your numbers allow. But if you know others who'll be there what's wrong with going on your own and enjoying the day with them?

ArtyC

i dont think id ever invite somone without a plus one, maybe money is a bit tight though? will you know people well enough at this wedding that you can have a buzz with them?

Jogathon

I have always been invited as a single guest. I prefer it cos then I don't have to look after anyone! I'm shocked that you found it insulting as it's definately the norm in my experience.

I think that if you're going out with someone then you should get a +1 and if you're single then go on your own. I would say though, that if you know no-one else at the wedding then maybe you should have been given a +1. I'd still go on my own cos you just don't know who you could meet....

bluesteel1234

I'll know one other person there who isn't in the bridal party. I've gone to weddings on my own in the past but always had the option of bringing a plus 1 which was nice I thought and then I could choose whether to bring someone or go on my own. The reason I feel insulted is cause I was talking to them before about the wedding and numbers etc and they were talkin bout how many people they were bringing from work, college etc and they said..well it'll be double that with plus 1s so wondering why other people would get a plus one but not me. If it was me i would do something straight across the board for everyone as i couldnt pick and choose who gets to bring someone and who doesnt

Dostoevsky

bluesteel1234 wrote: »

Hi, I am just wondering what the norm is for wedding invites. I got an invite to a friends wedding last week and was surprised to see there was no plus guest or plus friend on it. I have never heard of this before and thought it was a bit strange. I have known the bride for the last 10years and am a bit insulted she expects me to go on my own tbh. what are other peoples views?

Hi,

We sent our invites out some time ago and there was a number of people whom we invited on their own. This was primarily done for financial reasons but also to not be perceived as favouring somebody. However, within a week we personally contacted the widowed and elderly on the list and told each of them that we'd love to have them and that they were more than welcome to bring somebody with them. It has cost us around €500 more, but it was very much based on advice from other relatives who said facilitating them by issuing another invite would make their day so much easier.

I really think if people asked you on your own, it was entirely to save money. I remember not being invited to a wedding because I wasn't married to my now fiancée, even though I had been doing a line with her for around 6 years at the time - and the people inviting us her, who were only walking out with each other for a wet week, had the nerve to decide that only married couples were being invited to their bainis.

To be perfectly honest, I was delighted as I don't like weddings - but I certainly was bemused by the line they chose to delineate. Needless to say, I lobbied to draw a line on our invite where only couples who were walking out with each other for 10 years could be invited - married or not! (i.e. they came off worst for drawing the invitation line where they drew it)

Don't take any of this personally. If you really will not go without somebody else let them know and they should facilitate you. We just didn't want to offer an extra, to be crude about it, €100 unless it was necessary. Just be sure to cover the cost of the two of you when you attend. When it comes to wedding invites, it's always a good idea to put yourself in the shoes of those inviting.

Moonbeam

We will not invite +1's for single people living in the country that will know other people at the wedding.

kittex

There are a few people that we didn't give plus 1s to because
a) it's a small wedding - only 60 allowed in our venue.
b) they are single and I didn't want to make them feel bad (I used to hate plus ones when I was single!) and
c) Well, why should half our wedding be people we haven't met? We want to celebrate with our friends and family. We assume they want to celebrate with us too.

We do have a couple of friends who have since entered serious relationships and have put them on with their new "others".

moco

kittex wrote: »

There are a few people that we didn't give plus 1s to because
a) it's a small wedding - only 60 allowed in our venue.
b) they are single and I didn't want to make them feel bad (I used to hate plus ones when I was single!) and
c) Well, why should half our wedding be people we haven't met? We want to celebrate with our friends and family. We assume they want to celebrate with us too.

We do have a couple of friends who have since entered serious relationships and have put them on with their new "others".

That's the way I look at it too. Most people have limited numbers so I don't want a load of those numbers being taken up with people I don't know, at the expense of other people I do know that I'd like to be there.

I will do plus 1s for people I know have an established partner.