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Need help cutting those apron strings

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  • 25-06-2012 7:08pm
    #1
    jos28
    Registered Users Posts: 7,189 ✭✭✭


    I have just come back from the airport having dropped the youngest off so he can go back to work in the UK and have to admit that I still find the goodbyes upsetting. While other people might see a young man heading off, all I can is my ‘12’ year old son going off on his own. I know it’s only across the water, it’s not Australia and I am grateful for that. He is so good as keeping in touch and gets home every 5 or 6 weeks but I still miss him. The house is so lively when he is home and I hate seeing the empty bedroom when he leaves. I am immensely proud of him, he landed the dream job, sorted out a place to live and is very happy. He is ‘sorted’ so WHY do I still worry?
    I worry constantly about his older sibling who is not yet ‘sorted’. His dream job has been on hold since the public service embargo and he is stuck doing crappy jobs just to earn money. He gets very down and I worry about his mental health. I would give anything to see him settled with a job with prospects that he enjoys. Do we ever get to tick them off the list and stop worrying? I thought the worrying would stop once they got the Leaving cert under their belts.
    It sounds like a bad attack of 'empty nest syndrome' but it’s not like I haven’t got a full life myself. I work, I have just completed a degree and will graduate this year, I have lots of good friends, a busy social life. Myself and the hubby enjoy heading off at every available opportunity so I am not ‘a redundant Mammy’. I just need help cutting those apron strings !


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    #2
    Spread
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,876 ✭✭✭Spread


    Just being a typical Mom I guess. But boy, I'd worry if I was his girlfriend :D


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    #3
    looksee
    Registered Users Posts: 28,059 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    You are a mother. You will be a mother till they take over and you are the child again :D. And even then you will be a mother.

    Worrying is what mothers do. Well most mothers. Some mothers. Mothers other than me :eek: Out of sight, out of mind. No that's not really true, but it does get easier. Mine are 41, 40 and 25 (yes, I know...). And I am still concerned about them, especially the youngest who is, like yours, packed to the gills with qualifications and is working in a deli. In England.

    Love 'em, have a little worry, then get on with what you are doing, because long term, long distance worrying is really a waste of energy! (And for heavens sake don't start feeling guilty when you find you have stopped worrying ;))


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    #4
    jos28
    Registered Users Posts: 7,189 ✭✭✭jos28


    Spread wrote: »
    Just being a typical Mom I guess. But boy, I'd worry if I was his girlfriend :D

    Jeez, I sound like one of those crazy Jewish mothers and I'm not even Jewish !! Now you have me wondering what the girlfriends say about me :D
    looksee wrote: »
    You are a mother. You will be a mother till they take over and you are the child again :D. And even then you will be a mother.

    Worrying is what mothers do. Well most mothers. Some mothers. Mothers other than me :eek: Out of sight, out of mind. No that's not really true, but it does get easier. Mine are 41, 40 and 25 (yes, I know...). And I am still concerned about them, especially the youngest who is, like yours, packed to the gills with qualifications and is working in a deli. In England.

    Love 'em, have a little worry, then get on with what you are doing, because long term, long distance worrying is really a waste of energy! (And for heavens sake don't start feeling guilty when you find you have stopped worrying ;))

    Glad to see I am not the only one, maybe I should try and downgrade from 'worry' to 'concern'. It sounds less neurotic. I suppose in this economic mess that lots of young people are doing jobs far beneath their our expectations, hopefully things will improve. LOVE the notion of feeling guilty about not worrying, you hit the nail on the head there :D


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    #5
    Cicero
    Closed Accounts Posts: 14,144 ✭✭✭✭Cicero


    jos28 wrote: »
    Jeez, I sound like one of those crazy Jewish mothers and I'm not even Jewish !! Now you have me wondering what the girlfriends say about me D

    You don't have to be Jewish...;)


    https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=8S6eGYnG8nM


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    #6
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    No, you don't have to be Jewish. It's a mother's job to worry and don't we just! We are all the same I think. However, the reasons why we worry can vary. Just try to count the blessings you have. That's probably not what you wanted to hear but there are always others in a worse situation, I might even be one of them.


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    #7
    Hippo
    Registered Users Posts: 1,877 ✭✭✭Hippo


    You don't even have to be a mother, speaking as a constantly-concerned father.


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    #8
    OldGoat
    Registered Users Posts: 12,633 ✭✭✭✭OldGoat


    Spread wrote: »
    Just being a typical Mom I guess.
    looksee wrote: »
    You are a mother....And even then you will be a mother. Worrying is what mothers do.
    Jellybaby1 wrote: »
    It's a mother's job to worry

    Speaking as a father I'm feeling a tad left out here. :o

    EDIT: Beaten to the punch by Hippo. :)

    I'm older than Minecraft goats.



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    #9
    looksee
    Registered Users Posts: 28,059 ✭✭✭✭looksee


    Now OG, don't be neurotic. She is a mother. We are mothers. You want to have a little worry as a father, go for it :D


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    #10
    Spread
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,876 ✭✭✭Spread


    Flinging back the Antipsychotics like there was no tomorrow!

    Wehey!


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    #11
    jos28
    Registered Users Posts: 7,189 ✭✭✭jos28


    Cicero, that clip is absolutely hilarious, I'm putting that one on my phone to keep me in line !
    I am pleased to see that Dads worry too, if my OH worries he sure won't admit it to me:D. I do enough for the pair of us !


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    #12
    Jellybaby1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,108 ✭✭✭Jellybaby1


    Himself says there is no point in worrying. If you can do something about the problem then do it, if not then what do you profit from worrying? The thing is, I do more than enough worrying for both of us so he's covered in the worry stakes, if you get my drift. I could worry for Ireland! When it comes to mothers it is an inherent part of our biology - we are created with more worry beads in our top drawer than fathers. We girls are stuck with it unfortunately, but it does beg the question, why? Himself would say (as he is wont to do), 'you are better at it'. :mad:


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    #13
    jos28
    Registered Users Posts: 7,189 ✭✭✭jos28


    Jellybaby1 wrote: »
    When it comes to mothers it is an inherent part of our biology - we are created with more worry beads in our top drawer than fathers. We girls are stuck with it unfortunately, but it does beg the question, why? Himself would say (as he is wont to do), 'you are better at it'. :mad:
    Worrying about our children is definitely linked to the mothering gene. I don't worry about other members of my family the same way, just my offsprings. It is as you say Jellybaby, an inherent part of our biology. Now if I could find the dial to turn it down a bit......


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