How to get off the drink?

Deus Ex Machina

I've decided to try and get off the drink. I'm never off the drink these days and it's starting to worry me in terms of health and quality of life. I constantly get text messages and emails from people freaking out about my drunken actions and telling me that I'm an alcoholic psychopath. I recently overheard a conversation between two friends of mine and I was terribly embarrassed by what was said: "I'm not even worried about him anymore, we've all tried to get him off the drink but he doesn't do a thing to help himself. He is a drunken sociopath."

I was terribly embarrassed to hear that their opinion of me was that low, and then I also realised that it is true. It is up to me to change this. I need to get off the drink and stop being such an alcoholic psychopath, causing violence and destruction at every turn....

I don't want to go to AA or anything like that, just want to do it myself. How do you go about it?

RNC

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

I've decided to try and get off the drink. I'm never off the drink these days and it's starting to worry me in terms of health and quality of life. I constantly get text messages and emails from people freaking out about my drunken actions and telling me that I'm an alcoholic psychopath. I recently overheard a conversation between two friends of mine and I was terribly embarrassed by what was said: "I'm not even worried about him anymore, we've all tried to get him off the drink but he doesn't do a thing to help himself. He is a drunken sociopath."

I was terribly embarrassed to hear that their opinion of me was that low, and then I also realised that it is true. It is up to me to change this. I need to get off the drink and stop being such an alcoholic psychopath, causing violence and destruction at every turn....

I don't want to go to AA or anything like that, just want to do it myself. How do you go about it?

Read Allen carrs easy way to control alcohol... (it's about giving up completely not controlling tho)

Deus Ex Machina

RNC wrote: »

Read Allen carrs easy way to control alcohol... (it's about giving up completely not controlling tho)

Thanks, I will have a look at it. Really just want to get off the drink at the minute. I'm never off the drink these days and I'm an alcoholic psychopath. Time for a change before it's too late.

mikemac1

Fill your days with activities

If you're going home to stare at the four walls you'll be drinking in no time

Though you seem to be more of a messy drinker then someone who drinks alone

Basketball forum organize games, I think that could be ideal

OMARS_COMING_

Its impossible.

Deus Ex Machina

OMARS_COMING_ wrote: »

Its impossible.

You're saying I'll never be off the drink?

libnation

It's not impossible. People will b*tch about you if you do drink and if you don't. So just do what is right for you, even if that is giving up totally.

The Allen Carr book centres on the fact that alcohol is overrated. It's like when you hate a film everyone likes - then you read a review of it and the review articulates perfectly what you hated about that film! That's what his book is like.

Just give up if you're hating it. The benefits are shocking. When you were a teenager you had a lot of hormones and anxiety. Alcohol and hangovers carry moods and anxiety to adult hood - kicking it for me was a huge deal for making me more relaxed.

Find some hobbies. And do not care what people say about you giving up, just do it.

a fat guy

Ah, the infamous AH'er...

Just go cold turkey and fill your day with whatever makes you happy. Listening to music reeeeeeeeally loudly works for me, along with reading, painting miniatures, sketching, and just improving myself really.

And if you get it into your head that alcohol is poison, then let that mentality take over! Helped me a good bit.

Good luck!

mickrock

Read "Rational Recovery" by Jack Trimpey.

It's based on a technique called AVRT(Addictive Voice Recognition Technique).

Here's a crash course on AVRT:
https://rational.org/index.php?id=36


There's a detailed ongoing discussion on AVRT here:
http://www.soberrecovery.com/forums/secular-connections/233901-addictive-voice-recognition-technique-avrt-discussion.html

Sunnyisland

I have made the suggestion to new posters here to "get a plan" for their recovery from alcohol problems/abuse. The old phrase: "failing to plan is planning to fail" is very true in so many situations... and especially so in the case of those of us who are beginning (and continuing) the path of freedom from the devastation of problem drinking/abuse.


SO: What is a plan, and how do I get one ? Well I have used and tried all of these in my own battle

• Exercise (doesn't have to be a whole lot; some brisk walking, 3 or 4 days a week, is helpful)
• Meditation (many of us practice meditation)
• Dietary supplements
• A healthy diet, and regular meals
• Medication (preferably with help, advice, and a prescription from your physician)
• Spending a significant amount of time here or other online forums that help with problem drinking/abuse, reading the posts of others, getting to know people, asking questions, and talking about your progress and your struggles
• Going to AA meetings
• Changing our environment: Getting alcohol out of the house; not going to bars; not hanging around with "drinking buddies"

Most people do not use ALL elements in this list; but those who are successful tend to use a LOT of them. And we tend to adjust and tweak the elements, as we see what works for us (and for others).

Equally important is something we call the "mental game." This is short-hand for the process of changing our thinking and attitudes toward: alcohol, drinking, our emotions, and our behavior. We must learn a whole new approach to problems in life (we don't try to drink them away, any more), and we don't see alcohol as a "reward" for having accomplished something. We learn to tolerate distress, including the urges and impulses and cravings for drink, and we allow them to naturally pass away, without giving in to them. We learn not to engage in battles within our minds about drinking; we step away from that whole process, and choose to think about, and do, something else.

Perhaps most important: we recognize that the work of recovery truly is "work," and it takes time, effort, and sometimes it costs money. Sometimes it is costly in other ways, as well; friendships and other close relationships will be changed, when we change. And that can be painful. Making this kind of change will have an impact on all areas of our lives; that is a very, very good thing; it can also be accompanied by some pain. Again... we must learn to tolerate the discomforts involved in life changes. There will be some emotional upheaval along the way. We might want to seek counseling or psychotherapy; You certainly will benefit from going to like minded forums even here and talking about it.

Making a plan & following it through is an act of mature recognition of the fact that, for nearly all of us, just wishing and hoping that we will stop drinking (or begin drinking "normally") "on our own" is not going to work. Remember: nobody ever "wished and hoped" their way through any important project. But with persistence, and support from others, following a plan can take us to the places in our lives where we really want to go.

hubba

Excellent post, Realies. I used all of those except AA and I'm alcohol free for just over a year.

Whilst I congratulate AA for helping and continuing to help so many people all over the world, I personally don't find their philosophy helpful. I prefer to think that we just don't need drink in the first place (a la Allen Carr). I found this way of thinking much more movitating but I know each person draws their motivation where they can.

Thanks for posting this.

Sunnyisland

hubba wrote: »

Excellent post, Realies. I used all of those except AA and I'm alcohol free for just over a year.

Whilst I congratulate AA for helping and continuing to help so many people all over the world, I personally don't find their philosophy helpful. I prefer to think that we just don't need drink in the first place (a la Allen Carr). I found this way of thinking much more movitating but I know each person draws their motivation where they can.

Thanks for posting this.

Hubba I dident use AA much myself,I took what I wanted and left the rest there,but everyone to there own and well done on 1 year plus alchol free life

Crystalset

Today, 00:31 #60 Deus Ex Machina
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You can beat your wife but you can't beat.....8 Tesco naggins.

good vibes

Idiot!

Sunnyisland

Lads & ladies it does take time to stop and many people try & try before it actually clicks in,Having said that It only took me 27 years to stop :-)

insanity50

he's not an alcoholic psychopath, he's an alcoholic troll psychopath.

hate when these tossers from AH come along here and take the piss out of our clean living.

Prick.

a fat guy

I only drank for three years myself, and then only on Saturdays and holidays, and never in consecutive days.

That's probably why it was so much easier for me to give it up...

I really, REALLY wanted to stop, since it was beginning to turn me into an asshole. Thankfully I never hurt or harmed my friends in those few months, but I had to give it up at that stage. In this sense, I think you're in the same boat I was OP.

Just imagine the lack of control while drunk, the fact that you are literally poisoning your body and the lack of willpower that you're showing by drinking again.

I cannot stress that while the drink changes you, it is not an excuse. It's just you with a different mask on. If you want people to see you as an asshole, then keep drinking! And let's not forget that some little scumbag can come along at any moment when you're pissed off your head and beat the bejesus out of you. Don't think it can't happen to you, because it can and if you keep drinking so much, it will.

And what has been there with you throughout your entire life? Besides family, your own body has always been there for you. It struggles on, while you pump toxic substances and poisons through it just for a cheap thrill. It doesn't deserve this crap. Something that has served you faithfully throughout the years does not deserve to be punished.

The lack of willpower is the one thing that will truly make or break you. The idea that you can't even give up drinking some stupifying liquid will kill you if you go back on it. It's just a liquid, you don't need it and you never have needed it. Our ancestor's never needed it and it's completely unnatural anyway. Our bodies were not designed to digest crap like alcohol, therefore we should not go near the stuff. On the flipside, giving up alcohol where so many have failed will give you no small sense of pride. It's easy for those who were never too dependent on it, but hardcore drinkers will find it to be the hardest thing they ever give up. So if you do give it up, take pride in your accomplishment.

I realise that these three points may seem harsh, but they're what kept me going on the nights out without beer... So I figure that a little tough love might actually help OP, since he's kinda in the same position I was in.

anto77

insanity50 wrote: »

It's a litre of The Captain and six cans of Karpackie for me tonight , a friend is home from the states for the weekend.

all going to plan we'll take in the soccer, the clubs, and then the boxing tonight.

What about you?

insanity50 wrote: »

Absolutely in ribbons now.

In work sick as a dog.
Great night though from what I can remember, it was a bit of a blur after we left the house.

The captain went down a treat especially since I hadn't had a taste of him in nearly four weeks.

Had a couple of captains in the club as well and they really sent me over the edge.
Mix it with club orange for anyone who has never tried it, tastes delicious, like a super split.

I will probably have to try and give up the sauce again though, kinda disappointed I fell off the wagon yesterday but just had a hunger for it that wouldn't go away.

Feel like absolute sh*te now today. Thankfully the office has been quiet so far, hasn't been too many patients in so far. If I haven't perked up by lunchtime i'll go for a bulmers to cure me. There's a taco chip just sitting in my stomach and I'd be willing to lay a few quid on which end of me it's going to come out of!!!!

insanity50 wrote: »

Had two pints with my lunch at work.

Have a taste for it now.

Have sent out the group texts and the lads will be around at 6ish with the slabs and the spirits.

Gonna go for six cans myself and half a litre of the beloved captain.

Was sober for the past three and a half weeks so making it a good one tonight.

Will bust into some games of COD, then watch the liverpool match. then finish off out drinks and head to the pub and then club!!
Gonna be a great one!

Anyone else on the lash?

insanity50 wrote: »

he's not an alcoholic psychopath, he's an alcoholic troll psychopath.

hate when these tossers from AH come along here and take the piss out of our clean living.

Prick.

Troll reported :pac:

christmas2012

keep a drinks diary to see how much youre taking in - just to create an awareness of what youre taking in by matter of routine,just to raise your awareness of it in general,also record how you are feeling before and after the drinking session/daily drinking..

insanity50

Congrats anto you have highlighted that I have a drink problem. My struggle is well documented in the non-drinkers forum and my own threads here in AH.

I struggle everyday with demons trying to get through and survive and not turn to the bottle.

I'm glad you take such joy in seeing me fall off and on the wagon; I take comfort knowing that you are ready and waiting every time I fall off to throw it all in my face and drag it up every time I post - such comfort comes from knowing my own pitiful existence is only marginally as miserable as yours must surely be.

You don't seem to have a drink problem yourself, for that I'm glad for you. However spiteful vengeful people like yourself genuinely aren't worth the steam off my piss. Everyone deserves a second chance, and if they're an alcoholic they deserve a third chance and a fourth chance until they can get clean. I know the struggle I have had with the sauce and I don't need some internet lackie to give credence to that, or to be waiting there at every corner ready to throw stones at me if I happen to fall off the wagon. Clear off and take your grudges elsewhere.

Dave!

insanity50, cool the jets please

anto77

insanity50 wrote: »

Congrats anto you have highlighted that I have a drink problem. My struggle is well documented in the non-drinkers forum and my own threads here in AH.

I struggle everyday with demons trying to get through and survive and not turn to the bottle.

I'm glad you take such joy in seeing me fall off and on the wagon; I take comfort knowing that you are ready and waiting every time I fall off to throw it all in my face and drag it up every time I post - such comfort comes from knowing my own pitiful existence is only marginally as miserable as yours must surely be.

You don't seem to have a drink problem yourself, for that I'm glad for you. However spiteful vengeful people like yourself genuinely aren't worth the steam off my piss. Everyone deserves a second chance, and if they're an alcoholic they deserve a third chance and a fourth chance until they can get clean. I know the struggle I have had with the sauce and I don't need some internet lackie to give credence to that, or to be waiting there at every corner ready to throw stones at me if I happen to fall off the wagon. Clear off and take your grudges elsewhere.

Attack the post, not the poster. Post reported.

The only thing I highlighted is the fact you're a troll. If any of the above was true then why why attack Deus Ex and people who drink on other forums with such such vengence and in such a spiteful tone?

Surely if you share the same issues you wouldn't belittle them in such a manner.

Don't expect to come on forums attacking people and have it all your own way. When people come in here looking for help they don't appreciate being abused by posters on a moral high trip - especially relevant considering your posting history horsemeat.

Deus Ex Machina

I am actually trying to change my ways believe it or not. I know I post a lot on AH about alcohol and the "joys" of a lock, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to try something different. I think all alcoholics will tell you that there are many good aspects to the drink, it's their inability to control their consumption of this substance that renders it dangerous and deleterious to them, rather than the inherent nature of alcohol.

mickrock

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

I think all alcoholics will tell you that there are many good aspects to the drink, it's their inability to control their consumption of this substance that renders it dangerous and deleterious to them, rather than the inherent nature of alcohol.

It's the deep pleasure that alcohol provides that makes addicts carry on drinking despite the terrible consequences.

The more animalistic part of the brain perceives drink as necessary for survival and so it gets mixed in with the legitimate survival drives.

However, it's fairly easy to end an addiction by learning to mentally separate the "I" that wants to quit from the "It"(addictive desire that is expressed through the Addictive Voice) that wants to carry on at any cost. Once you learn to recognise the "It" as not-me, you disassociate and disidentify from "It" and it becomes easy to not drink.

As I mentioned in an earlier post, this is all explained in Rational Recovery by Jack Trimpey, which uses the AVRT technique.

a fat guy

Deus Ex Machina wrote: »

I am actually trying to change my ways believe it or not. I know I post a lot on AH about alcohol and the "joys" of a lock, but that doesn't mean that I don't want to try something different. I think all alcoholics will tell you that there are many good aspects to the drink, it's their inability to control their consumption of this substance that renders it dangerous and deleterious to them, rather than the inherent nature of alcohol.

Remember when you were a kid and you didn't give a **** about anything? If you sort your life out (And I'm not just talking about the drink here), you'll be able to feel like that again. Truly, it is a golden age. Think of what you have to gain and lose, and I'm sure you'll kick the habit.

TeddyTedson

a fat guy wrote: »

Remember when you were a kid and you didn't give a **** about anything? If you sort your life out (And I'm not just talking about the drink here), you'll be able to feel like that again. Truly, it is a golden age. Think of what you have to gain and lose, and I'm sure you'll kick the habit.

Can you tell me more.

OMARS_COMING_

TeddyTedson wrote: »

a fat guy wrote: »

Remember when you were a kid and you didn't give a **** about anything? If you sort your life out (And I'm not just talking about the drink here), you'll be able to feel like that again. Truly, it is a golden age. Think of what you have to gain and lose, and I'm sure you'll kick the habit.

Can you tell me more.

Me to.

a fat guy

OMARS_COMING_ wrote: »

Me to.

When you were about 5.

Y'know, when all you cared about were cartoons and sweets.

finnigan

OMARS_COMING_ wrote: »

Its impossible.

what a stupid stupid statement to make!

petercena

OMARS_COMING_ wrote: »

Its impossible.

Yes it is possible what if you have strong will power and moral support by family + friends.:)

Xim1

after loosing my job and alienating myself from friends and family , I realized alcohol was not giving me anything but problems, yes is fun to go out and have some drinks , but if you are like me that doesnt know how to stop then is better to quit any alcohol contact.
Is tricky in Ireland ... but if you don't go out u actually are more tempted to drink ... so the best solution is to keep yourself busy and meet people that can support you ... here is a group of people who doesn't drink and organize events that maybe can help you

http://www.meetup.com/A-sober-slice-of-Dublin/