(Yet another) Girl problem

LegacyUser

Hey all,
So I've got this girl confusing me. Not a big issue or anything but some outside advice would be nice
We've known each other for a couple of years, things have happened between us a couple of times. She's hinted at/told friends she'd like to take it further but any time I bring the subject up she shys away from the idea.
When we're in each other's company, it's amazing. We both have a fantastic time, things go well.
When we aren't she can often seem a bit....distant. When texting and all that. So I sent her a text a week or so ago asking what's going on, got no reply. A couple of days ago I decided to ask her if she wants to hang out soon, and shes really enthusiastic about the idea, asks for time off work and everything just so we can do it.

So basically I'm not sure what's going on. I've essentially decided to ask her in a more up front fashion about everything when I see her. I suppose I just either need encouragement, or need to be talked out of it if it's a terrible, terrible idea.

Thanks guys

Pa Dee

justme87 wrote: »

Hey all,
So I've got this girl confusing me. Not a big issue or anything but some outside advice would be nice
We've known each other for a couple of years, things have happened between us a couple of times. She's hinted at/told friends she'd like to take it further but any time I bring the subject up she shys away from the idea.
When we're in each other's company, it's amazing. We both have a fantastic time, things go well.
When we aren't she can often seem a bit....distant. When texting and all that. So I sent her a text a week or so ago asking what's going on, got no reply. A couple of days ago I decided to ask her if she wants to hang out soon, and shes really enthusiastic about the idea, asks for time off work and everything just so we can do it.

So basically I'm not sure what's going on. I've essentially decided to ask her in a more up front fashion about everything when I see her. I suppose I just either need encouragement, or need to be talked out of it if it's a terrible, terrible idea.

Thanks guys

I am not sure what your issues are ?

LegacyUser

Pa Dee wrote: »

I am not sure what your issues are ?

You know looking over my post, I really don't make it clear. Sorry about that :P
I had a longer post written out but in editing it apparantly managed to leave out the actual point.
Basically, Issue is: Girl acts very interested in person, not so much when not in person, hints at relationship but backs off when asked.
She's very, very shy at times though so I think that might be all it is?

Lorna123

justme87 wrote: »

Hey all,

So basically I'm not sure what's going on. I've essentially decided to ask her in a more up front fashion about everything when I see her. I suppose I just either need encouragement, or need to be talked out of it if it's a terrible, terrible idea.

Thanks guys

Yes, OP I would encourage you to ask her in a more up front fashion and don't be fobbed off when you see her. She has encouraged you so why wouldn't you want to know where you stand. I say go for it and best of luck.

LegacyUser

Lorna123 wrote: »

Yes, OP I would encourage you to ask her in a more up front fashion and don't be fobbed off when you see her. She has encouraged you so why wouldn't you want to know where you stand. I say go for it and best of luck.

Thanks for the reply Well, like I said thats essentially what I planned to do anyway. It's just good to hear someone say it isn't totally nuts :P

P. Breathnach

I am combining two things you have told us: she blows hot and cold, and she can be shy. That suggests to me that she might be a little nervous about making a commitment. Make allowances for that possibility when you are having "the talk".

LegacyUser

P. Breathnach wrote: »

I am combining two things you have told us: she blows hot and cold, and she can be shy. That suggests to me that she might be a little nervous about making a commitment. Make allowances for that possibility when you are having "the talk".

A fair point, and I've seen you give a lot of advice on here I agree with. I'll keep it in mind.

LegacyUser

sunflower27 wrote: »

I agree with this, OP.

Whether she means to or not, she is obviously messing you around. You took the time to construct a text to find out where you stand and she just ignored it. :eek:

She is lucky you gave her any more of your time, to be honest.

You should not be begging her to tell you where you stand. You have put your cards on the table already and she is old enough to say how she feels. If she doesn't, maybe she is not ready for a relationship at all.

Going against the grain here, but if I were you I would be moving on. Once she knows you aren't waiting in the wings for her to decide on whether to progress a relationship or not, she may actually tell you where she stands.

Good luck

Thanks for the reply.

I realise she's messing me around. Personally I don't think it's intentional but hey I suppose I'll find out haha.
She's very lucky I'm still giving her any time, but she's generally been very good to me in the past, so I'm willing to let it slide this once.

I haven't exactly put my cards on the table though. In hindsight I've been hot and cold myself, albiet unintentionally.

I'll go see her anyway, and just enjoy myself. If she acts interested again, well I'll make a move and see how it goes.
If not, move on, and deal with it.

Thanks for the advice