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safe place for access pickups

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  • 23-06-2012 1:47pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    My ex is becoming increasingly verbally and emotionally abusive. We have a court order from years ago, but this entails us meeting face to face. Does anyone know whether centres exist for dropping and picking up kids on access - I'm really intimidated by him and pickups are causing me massive stress which is affecting my parenting. Is there such a place in Galway?


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    #2
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    intimidated wrote: »
    My ex is becoming increasingly verbally and emotionally abusive. We have a court order from years ago, but this entails us meeting face to face. Does anyone know whether centres exist for dropping and picking up kids on access - I'm really intimidated by him and pickups are causing me massive stress which is affecting my parenting. Is there such a place in Galway?


    Have you got a safety order in place? Every parent has a right to see their children, but if there is intimidation you have every right to go to your local district court offices and request a safety order.

    This protects you and your children from intimidation / violence. You will have your day in court, and you have the backing of the gardai if anything happens.


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    #3
    rebecca 30
    Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭rebecca 30


    intimidated wrote: »
    My ex is becoming increasingly verbally and emotionally abusive. We have a court order from years ago, but this entails us meeting face to face. Does anyone know whether centres exist for dropping and picking up kids on access - I'm really intimidated by him and pickups are causing me massive stress which is affecting my parenting. Is there such a place in Galway?

    Bring your ex back to court , there is a place called time4us behind st Mary boy school in Galway , Get your lawyer to send his lawyer a letter stating that this is the only place that you will leave your child to be pick up, Courts are not sitting again till Sep , so I see this as your only way forward for the summer, but bring your ex back to court, asap, in my experience this only gets worst and your child is seeing this and its not good for them.


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    #4
    rebecca 30
    Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭rebecca 30


    Abi wrote: »
    Have you got a safety order in place? Every parent has a right to see their children, but if there is intimidation you have every right to go to your local district court offices and request a safety order.

    This protects you and your children from intimidation / violence. You will have your day in court, and you have the backing of the gardai if anything happens.


    If you have been thro anything like this, you will know that the guards do not want to know, Safety order not worth the paper its written on , and if / when something does happen its her word against his, Day in court , it depends on what Judge you get , what mood they may be in ,
    How I know this ,
    7 years been going thro the courts ,


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    #5
    Abi
    Closed Accounts Posts: 22,058 ✭✭✭✭Abi


    rebecca 30 wrote: »
    If you have been thro anything like this, you will know that the guards do not want to know, Safety order not worth the paper its written on , and if / when something does happen its her word against his, Day in court , it depends on what Judge you get , what mood they may be in ,
    How I know this ,
    7 years been going thro the courts ,

    I have actually, and he's due in court in the next month or so for breaking his safety order. I'm sorry yours didn't stand to you, but mine has been an utter god send.

    I would love to give you more details on it here, but it's a public forum and I don't want to give out specifics. You've nothing to lose by having one in the first place. I agree with you on the judges front, but I will say that if you have your facts straight and a continuous record of events then it will stand to you when going to court.


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    #6
    rebecca 30
    Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭rebecca 30


    Abi wrote: »
    I have actually, and he's due in court in the next month or so for breaking his safety order. I'm sorry yours didn't stand to you, but mine has been an utter god send.

    I would love to give you more details on it here, but it's a public forum and I don't want to give out specifics. You've nothing to lose by having one in the first place. I agree with you on the judges front, but I will say that if you have your facts straight and a continuous record of events then it will stand to you when going to court.

    Hope it goes the way you want,


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    #7
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭LegacyUser


    Thanks guys, I'll check out time4us. I'm not going back to court, he's very clever about when and how he says things. Plus it was a nightmare for me last time, had a rude and uninterested judge - not going down that road again.


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    #8
    rebecca 30
    Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭rebecca 30


    I know how you feel, but do not be scared to go back to court , ( said me , 7 years later ) Darren is great , ring up and make an appointment to go there and explain your worry's to Daren, He can act as the go between at the door , so you will not have to interact with your ex,


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    #9
    Gillo
    Registered Users Posts: 5,566 ✭✭✭Gillo


    Could you invest in a small dictaphone and leave it in your pocket recording just before you meet him? Over time you'll build up a collection of what he is saying despite him being careful which would be very useful if you returned to court. You may want to check out the legality of recording him against his knowledge but it could be worth doing.

    Speaking as a guy, I honestly can't understand parents who act the dick like this, a break up happens its crap but at least for the child's sake, people need to learn to grow up, shut up and be civil.


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    #10
    rebecca 30
    Closed Accounts Posts: 133 ✭✭rebecca 30


    Gillo wrote: »
    Could you invest in a small dictaphone and leave it in your pocket recording just before you meet him? Over time you'll build up a collection of what he is saying despite him being careful which would be very useful if you returned to court. You may want to check out the legality of recording him against his knowledge but it could be worth doing.

    Speaking as a guy, I honestly can't understand parents who act the dick like this, a break up happens its crap but at least for the child's sake, people need to learn to grow up, shut up and be civil.

    She could, but it cannot be used in court as he does not know he is been recorded , best thing is to go to the guards and start a record with them, I had to do this for a year & half before any thing could be done about it , law in not on the women side , no matter what all the dads say ,


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    #11
    Taltos
    Registered Users Posts: 20,830 ✭✭✭✭Taltos


    rebecca - please don't turn this thread into a mother's vs dad's debate. Such a statement is considered flaming and we can't allow such posts here.

    Any similar posts like this may result in mod action having to be taken.

    Thanks
    Taltos


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    #12
    Miaireland
    Registered Users Posts: 4,063 ✭✭✭Miaireland


    Have you considered contacting your local Family Resource Center. Some of these offer a service like the one you are looking for.


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