HIV worry

K1109

Hi all,

Ok basically here is my situation. About a year ago I had my 1st "gay experience". I had always been curious but never acted on it. Long story short I was out, few drinks, met a nice girl, went back to her's, wasn't a girl(very convincing however), i found her(him) attractive, we had sex. It is my only "gay" experience and to be honest it wasn't really my thing. Curiosity satisfied and all that.
Now I dont know his/her HIV status and I left that night. It didn't really occur to be until the last few days that I had taken a risk.
We both performed unprotected oral and then I received protected(condom) anal. I ejaculated during the oral but she did not cum at all and I don't think there was too much pre-cum.
I went to be tested today and now I'm awaiting the results. What sort of risk do people think I am at?

Put bluntly I'm bricking it.....

Thanks,

K

Aurongroove

I don't know if it was just the way you wrote it, but your post looks like you're worried you might have caught HIV because you had gay sex. You don't just 'magically produce HIV' from gay sex experiences. You get HIV and other STIs from unprotected sex with a carrier of the STI.

Now, while it obviously would've been more prudent of you to have an STI test long before now, on the topic of HIV I can safely estimate that you'd definitely know it after a year if there was something on the scale of HIV wrong with you. That said, it is also worth pointing out that HIV isn't the only STD there is.

I'd guess your odds of having HIV and not suffering any unusual health issues a year after oral sex with a stranger is infinitesimal.
But the important thing to take away from this is, A, gay sex doesn't produce HIV; unprotected sex with a HIV carrier does. And B, HIV isint the only STI there is and there are any number of STI's which can stay invisible for a long time.

K1109

Aurongroove wrote: »

I don't know if it was just the way you wrote it, but your post looks like you're worried you might have caught HIV because you had gay sex. You don't just 'magically produce HIV' from gay sex experiences. You get HIV and other STIs from unprotected sex with a carrier of the STI.

Now, while it obviously would've been more prudent of you to have an STI test long before now, on the topic of HIV I can safely estimate that you'd definitely know it after a year if there was something on the scale of HIV wrong with you. That said, it is also worth pointing out that HIV isn't the only STD there is.

I'd guess your odds of having HIV and not suffering any unusual health issues a year after oral sex with a stranger is infinitesimal.
But the important thing to take away from this is, A, gay sex doesn't produce HIV; unprotected sex with a HIV carrier does. And B, HIV isint the only STI there is and there are any number of STI's which can stay invisible for a long time.

Perhaps my panicked nature is affecting how I phrase what I write.

I know gay sex is not the soul way to get HIV and I am in no way saying that HIV is any more common in gay v heterosexual relations. However this "partner" only wore a condom at my insistence, and so as you might imagine I am dubious about his/her sexual practices.

I'm not a "go out and ride everyone type". In fact I have had very few sexual partners in my life and this one was my 1st one nighter. The risk of HIV never occurred to me and perhaps that is my own naivety. However the worry I'm experiencing has taught me to be more careful in future.

ShanePouch

K1109 wrote: »

Hi all,

Ok basically here is my situation. About a year ago I had my 1st "gay experience". I had always been curious but never acted on it. Long story short I was out, few drinks, met a nice girl, went back to her's, wasn't a girl(very convincing however), i found her(him) attractive, we had sex. It is my only "gay" experience and to be honest it wasn't really my thing. Curiosity satisfied and all that.
Now I dont know his/her HIV status and I left that night. It didn't really occur to be until the last few days that I had taken a risk.
We both performed unprotected oral and then I received protected(condom) anal. I ejaculated during the oral but she did not cum at all and I don't think there was too much pre-cum.
I went to be tested today and now I'm awaiting the results. What sort of risk do people think I am at?

Put bluntly I'm bricking it.....

Thanks,

K

Do you really think there is much value in strangers on the internet speculating about whether or not you might have contracted HIV from this one encounter?

Might it not be better to discuss with a known and qualified quantity, perhaps as your GP, rather than unnecessarily getting the opinions of strangers which must be pretty worthless.Presumably you have already discussed this with someone qualified already when you went to arrange the test(s), and my understanding is that most GP's would run tests not for just HIV for for many other STI's also. In any case, you'll presumably have the results soon, but I just can't see what comfort it can be to have the opinions of strangers on the internet rather than the opinion of someone like your GP or another suitably qualified person.

lorrieq

<Snip> He HAS been to the GP and is awaiting results. He's talking about it here because when you're stressed over something you want to talk about it, to try and find some comforting information, ensure yourself it's alright. Nobody wants to wait cluelessly and just ponder. It's psychological.

If you don't have thoughts on his question then you're not going to help him so leave it out.

ShanePouch

lorrieq wrote: »

<Snip> He HAS been to the GP and is awaiting results. He's talking about it here because when you're stressed over something you want to talk about it, to try and find some comforting information, ensure yourself it's alright. Nobody wants to wait cluelessly and just ponder. It's psychological.

If you don't have thoughts on his question then you're not going to help him so leave it out.

My point was about seeking, or receiving, medical information from strangers on the internet being of little or no value, and it would be of some value to seek the information from someone qualified to give it rather than from anonymous strangers of the internet. Its fine to disagree with my view, but do you have to call me names?

L.Jenkins

Mod Note: No abusive language to be directed at other members regardless.

Aurongroove

However this "partner" only wore a condom at my insistence

that is by far the more important point. if they're the kind of person to quibble over using a johnny, then it's likely they regularly have unprotected sex.


again, though. it is practically impossible for you to be HIV for a year and not notice any health problems. the only thing you should be "bricking" over is if you've caught anything less severe.

digzy

If it's any help, i work in healthcare.
In order for you to contract hiv or hep c there has to be a direct contact. that means if your partners fluid-semen, blood or saliva comes into your mouth you've zero wories. however if you had an oral lesion (wound) there's a 300/1 chance of contracting hiv and a 30/1 chance of hep c.
Likewise if you'd unprotected anal, semen is harmless provided there's no break in the 'skin'. however if you'd an open sore then you're at risk. tbf you dont know this.
as per previous advice you need a gp to do a blood test. but the odds are on your side

best of luck!

ShanePouch

digzy wrote: »

If it's any help, i work in healthcare.
In order for you to contract hiv or hep c there has to be a direct contact. that means if your partners fluid-semen, blood or saliva comes into your mouth you've zero wories. however if you had an oral lesion (wound) there's a 300/1 chance of contracting hiv and a 30/1 chance of hep c.

What about if you have a condition which is very common, such as bleeding gums?

My GP told me that oral sex with a stranger is usually fine so long as you dont take semen into your mouth - either ejaculate outside the mouth, or else at the back of the throat, bearing in mind nothing is 100% safe.

The problem with giving advice over the net is that someone with bleeding gums might read your advice here, and conclude from it they are fine to perform oral sex. They might not even be aware they have bleeding gums, and many GP's advise not to brush your teeth for a period before performing oral sex, as brushing teeth often causes bleeding. However, many guys brush their teeth just before meeting a partner wanting to have their breath smelling "clean".

I am always wary of medical advice given by strangers, especially anonymous strangers over the internet, as even when correct it can mislead.

LeftBase

you should be ok. as long as he didnt come in your mouth and there were no cuts

K1109

I got no come in my mouth and there was little or no pre-cum. He/she didn't ejaculate. My gums are in decent enough shape and there were no major cuts etc that I'm aware of at the time.

I suppose sitting around and waiting is hard.....just sorta looking for some reassurance.

I think I'll be ok.

Annasopra

Aurongroove wrote: »

it is practically impossible for you to be HIV for a year and not notice any health problems.

I don't really agree with this and I think that actually this is going a bit to far. It's easy enough to mistake some symptoms for general health problems.

keepkeyyellow

Leave the poor guy alone. I had my first STD last year and they freaked me out so much I convinced myself I had everything under the sun. Even the wording he's using is straight out of a doctors mouth.

digzy

ShanePouch wrote: »

What about if you have a condition which is very common, such as bleeding gums?

My GP told me that oral sex with a stranger is usually fine so long as you dont take semen into your mouth - either ejaculate outside the mouth, or else at the back of the throat, bearing in mind nothing is 100% safe.

The problem with giving advice over the net is that someone with bleeding gums might read your advice here, and conclude from it they are fine to perform oral sex. They might not even be aware they have bleeding gums, and many GP's advise not to brush your teeth for a period before performing oral sex, as brushing teeth often causes bleeding. However, many guys brush their teeth just before meeting a partner wanting to have their breath smelling "clean".

I am always wary of medical advice given by strangers, especially anonymous strangers over the internet, as even when correct it can mislead.

whats your point? I'm a little confused.Are you suggesting the giver is gonna contaminate the receiver due to bleeding gums? what about the saliva which is a greater problem? i'm gonna take your conversation with your doctor and his subsequent advice re bj's and bleeding gums with a pinch of salt.
Unless your gp is doctor nick, he should know the pathology of gingival disease. I'm a dentist and I do! Trust me, If you're giving a bj, gum disease is not a factor in passing/receiving an infection. maybe ask your 'gp' next time how they suggest saliva is removed too;) it's why i've no issue treating an hiv/hep c patient. If they bit me it'd be a different matter altogether:(

i'm not trying to patronise anyone, simply to put op's mind at ease a little and to suggest getting a professional to test you out. hopefully i've given a little info too.

ShanePouch

digzy wrote: »

i'm gonna take your conversation with your doctor and his subsequent advice re bj's and bleeding gums with a pinch of salt.

That's exactly the point I was making, you are right to take any medical advice on the internet with a large pinch of salt, and we should all be very wary of taking any medical advice from strangers on the internet, and seek it out only from those qualified people we trust.

Annasopra

ShanePouch wrote: »

That's exactly the point I was making, you are right to take any medical advice on the internet with a large pinch of salt, and we should all be very wary of taking any medical advice from strangers on the internet, and seek it out only from those qualified people we trust.

If people want to ask for advice they can. I don't see why you see the need to lecture us all about how to use the internet.

ShanePouch

mango salsa wrote: »

If people want to ask for advice they can. I don't see why you see the need to lecture us all about how to use the internet.

My view is that medical advice given by strangers on the internet should be treated with caution. That doesn't stop anyone asking for it, or anyone else giving it.