Interweb stalker

toexpress

Right I have a stalker following me around the net, he has somehow gotten my name, lord knows where he got it from but none the less he has it. I have been to the Gardai, they have called on him, they are going again and they truly are doing their best (but there are bigger and far more important issues as he isn't hiding in the bushes outside of my house and I do understand that) but I am uncomfortable with the fact that he could be found there next. I am aware that I am not the first victim

Anyone any suggestions on how to put a stop to it?

StillIncognito

stop being so dam irresistable

toexpress

StillIncognito wrote: »

stop being so dam irresistable

Yeah well there's the part that would make you wonder am boringly average at best ... am 31 in gay terms that's dead.

But this is a more serious thing I am uncomfortable that he got my name and I am wondering where this will lead.

When I spoke with the Gardai they said the pattern of this is that they tell the offender to back off, which they do, then they come back, then told to back off again and do for a bit longer and this process is repeated over and over till they stop ... this seems to be getting worse rather than better

Dwn Wth Vwls

What sort of contact have you had with them? Were you chatting at some point, or friendly?

1ZRed

Was this off a dating site? You'd wonder how he got your name unless he can hack your profile. I doubt he could do much with your name (even a full name)
and if the guards are involved that should keep him scared off in real life at least.
He could just be an Internet stalker and nothing more and then backs off when he gets bored and finds someone new.

I wouldn't worry about it too much because you've gone to the Gardai and did all you could to protect yourself.

toexpress

Dwn Wth Vwls wrote: »

What sort of contact have you had with them? Were you chatting at some point, or friendly?

There hasn't been contact as such I suspect him to be a friend of an ex (but I could be wrong about this, he didn't seem to know my name before today which would imply that this is wrong but he does seem to know things about my ex, like his name etc) and his contacts are solely through the net at the moment

Shakti

From your OP I don't understand how exactly this person is stalking you?

baby and crumble

OP, I've moved this to PI, you'll get better advice here.

Am Chile

toexpress wrote: »

Right I have a stalker following me around the net, he has somehow gotten my name, lord knows where he got it from but none the less he has it. I have been to the Gardai, they have called on him, they are going again and they truly are doing their best (but there are bigger and far more important issues as he isn't hiding in the bushes outside of my house and I do understand that) but I am uncomfortable with the fact that he could be found there next. I am aware that I am not the first victim

Anyone any suggestions on how to put a stop to it?

Some info missing from your post, you say hes following you around the Internet, assuming hes contacted you, how exactly did he contact you by email,dating site, facebook? and what type of messages did he send you?

RDM_83 again

Ok not really answering your question about how to deal with the problem.
But you should certainly check all your facebook/linkedin/bebo privacy settings and also google yourself to check if these settings have been applied and what information is publicly available about you on the web.
If you think he knows where you live you should probably get a shredder etc.

toexpress

He contacts me primarily on gaydar occasionally on other similar sites

I don't use facebook/linkedin etc

Yesterday he was using my full name on gay-ireland.com to post messages and generally be nasty to other people

Taltos

As well as changing your profile settings and your passwords on any site you use I would suggest the following.

1. Contact the site(s) directly and report abuse - most will have procedures to deal with this type of behaviour.
2. Seek legal advice - while the gardai have been great you might have options open to you that they just cannot advise on. e.g. defamation, personal injury claims, etc
3. Keep a log and a record of everything - screenshots the whole kit and kaboodle - just in case they go back and edit/remove their posts.
4. Don't respond in kind - actually don't respond at all - we have a saying here "don't feed the trolls".
5. See #2 again - get legal advice.
6. Make sure you screen your calls, keep any voicemails etc...

Hope you get this resolved quickly and easily - but sometimes they can drag on for quite a while and it could just be boredom in the end that sees them stop.

Shakti

toexpress wrote: »

He contacts me primarily on gaydar occasionally on other similar sites

I don't use facebook/linkedin etc

Yesterday he was using my full name on gay-ireland.com to post messages and generally be nasty to other people

okay so they've got your full name somehow* and there hassling you on your favourite sites, I'd follow the advice laid out above and don't let it freak you out to much people like that draw their energy from your responses so don't.

*mobile phone numbers+personal ads, classifieds etc. maybe? or as you stated a shared acquaintance.

Herrick

One that might not be too obvious is if you have a unique username for these sites all he has to do is Google the username and it will show up various sites your on.

I'd be changing your usernames if I were you.

toexpress

I've changed my user-name many times he just keeps coming back he watches me very closely sadly and I wont be bullied. I suspect ultimately what this guy wants is to isolate me from the gay community, though I don't know why but either way I wont be beat!