Cant stand my job

LegacyUser

I feel a little selfish saying this in the current climate but I cannot stand my job. I work with some of the most difficult people I've ever had the misfortune of encountering in my life. I'm frequently stressed to the max and quite often feeling depressed. I actually have started seeing a psychologist as I'm having issues with anxiety and she reckons there's elements of depression too.

I don't know what to do. I'm an emotional person so perhaps I'm making it seem worse than it is but I'm not imagining how unhappy I've been in this job for the past few years. I've had a bit of a look around for other work but not felt too enthusiastic about what's out there. Im currently living on my credit card and have no savings so I can't even pack my job in and take a few weeks or months off to clear my head and look for something else.

I really don't know what to do. I guess I could stay here another 2 or 3 months, clear my bills and move home but I don't know if moving home as a 35 year old single guy would be good for me.

I'm a contractor in this company and working on something else on the team isnt an option and I think transferring to another job in the company will be equally as difficult - they have stupid rules about moving between teams when a contractor.

I don't know what to do. Has anyone else been in this position? I can't really make a complaint about these people as they're not harrasing me but they just cause me so much stress and unhappiness due to how difficult they are and how they try to make me look like an idiot and talk down to me that I'm close to breaking point.

How can I get through this?

Flange/Flanders

OP, its a little unclear, do you hate the work or the company you work for? If its the company, then definitely change. If its the work, considering retraining in something else. You dont sound like you've any committments, so try and save a bit of money and go back to college or whatever. You have one chance in life, as Steve Jobs said, you have to love what you do. If you do have committments that mean you cant leave your job easily, then find a hobby that you enjoy for outside work or something that you can get a passion for.

And please dont come back and say that its not easy, I'm late 20s and planning on going back to college in September and incur very significant debt but thats after working for a few years in an industry I hated and I know Im gonna love my new career!

Janey_Mac

Does the company have a HR department? Does your team have a leader or a manager above that who is not one of the people who make you feel bad? Or a manager of another department who is friendly/sympathetic?

Talk to one of these people and explain why you would like to move teams if possible. Never mind what the rules are for it, the worst they can say is no, and then you'll know for definite. At the moment it sounds like you've given up hope without having tried to find out first.

If there's not a single person in the company who can help, then keep looking for other jobs, any jobs at all. If work is making you severely unhappy for 40 hours a week then ask yourself is your mental health worth the pay?

Work out a strict budget for yourself to get the credit card paid off and get a bit of cash saved up. If you think you can clear your bills in 2-3 months then you can probably save a chunk in 6 months and live on that while looking for other work if you don't want to move home.

Fentdog84

I think sometimes in these kind of situations as Ive myself found, you need to stand up for yourself more to get respect.Now I dont mean punching your bosses' lights out(much as you'd like to Im sure), but standing your ground to the point of stubborness if your being treated unfairly, and looking sharp and assertive. Even going in the morning with a smile, can change people's perception of you, little things like that. If you let people dominate you and make you feel like and idiot, they surely will. If there's people pressurising you and goading you, just rise above it, laugh it off,whatever just dont show that they're getting to you.

But if its gone beyond all that, then you need to make a change whether it be the job or the industry, its never too late to do that. Even if it means moving home for a while, or to do a college course, so be it, as long as you are moving towards something better.

LegacyUser

Op again here. I should have pointed out, it's mostly the work and some of the people on my team that I dislike, my manager is fine. I would stay in the industry in another job. I would also be open to a career change if I found something else I wanted to do, however my current job/career is all I know. I don't really have any idea as to what I'd do if I decided to change career.

The difficult people are ones at the same level as me except they are permanent. There's only one or two but they really get to me. I also know I'm not the only one who finds these people difficult. Due to my job status and the fact that I'm contracting doing this particular work, the team will not let me work on something else. To be honest the best thing for me is to get out of that team and either into another one, or into a different company. It's a dead-end job and the annoying people are unlikely to ever leave and to be honest, I've been unhappy there for a while so the best thing I can do is move to something else.

I'm looking around for something else and hopefully something good will come up soon. In the meantime I'm cutting back on my spending and should have the credit card cleared in 3 months max, all being well.

LegacyUser

Hey op,

Talk to a career coach! I was in a similar situation a while back and it was the best thing I ever did. You know yourself that changing jobs at the moment is not that easy but if you're working with someone who guides you through it step by step, helps you figure out your aspirations, sets clear goals and markers and you develop an exit startegy- seriously best money i ever spent. The move was so smooth and I'm much happier where I am now! Just make sure that whoever you go to is licenced and qualified, I spoke to a few muppets before I found the right one!

Isis20

Talk to your boss, friends and family about it, otherwise; just quit your job and find something you do like!

LegacyUser

A few years ago I was in your position. I was in a job I did not like and was in debt.
I used the budget plan on the nca.ie website to see where I was spending money and to see where I could save money. I brought my lunch into work each day, did not go out much at weekends, cooked meal rather than takeaways ect.
At the moment you need to get your debts paid off and then start to save money. When you saved enough living expenses for 2 to 3 months I would then start to look for a new job.
The reason I would wait until you have some money saved is that you may have to move to a new area and you could be waiting a few weeks before getting paid.
Don't leave your present job until you have another job to go to because it is easier to get a job when your in a job.
Good luck

Mrs Garth Brooks

I was in a similar situation too a few years ago. I had a job I didn't like and I owed money, so leaving wasn't the best option. I wasn't qualified in anything. So I would have been stacking shelves and probably on minimum wage, so probably difficult to save. I stuck it out and set goals for myself. The only thing that kept me going was I was working towards my goal. It took about a year and a half to clear my debts and save enough to go back to college.

I agree with fab lady, you need to clear debts and save. Another thing I would add is while you're working on this. Do something you enjoy in your spare time until you do leave. For me, I loved going to the gym. I lost five stone so I would even look good by the time I got out. I also felt great and felt more positive when exercising. It helps when you can't stand the place.

P. Breathnach

It looks to me, OP, as the nub of your problem is that you have to deal with a couple of work colleagues who behave like jerks, and that their behaviour at work is known to, perhaps a problem for, other people.

If I am reading this correctly, you are taking a problem that exists in the work environment, and making it into your own problem. It could be that adopting some coping strategies might help you.

LegacyUser

op again, just thought I would give an update.

Things had been going better but I was told today I'm being made redundant so I finish work in 2 weeks. It was out of the blue and I had no warning, they told me it was not related to my job performance. To be honest it hasn't sunk it but I am feeling pretty down about it all.

I'm really struggling to know what to do now. I did some calculations and with the wages I'm left to get paid, I can clear my credit card debt completely but it requires me to pack up and move home and not have to pay any more rent here in the city. I thought I might have been entitled to statutory redundancy but it's not so sure now and I can't afford to wait around for weeks or months to find out. I'd also need to decide all this in the next few days at most as I need to give my landlord a months notice if I'm leaving.

It's possible I might land another job quickly but I'm really not confident of that happening. I would have to be earning again within about 2 weeks otherwise I'm sunk.

My head is all over the place and I really could do with some time off to hopefully get things straight. Unfortunately I will have to discontinue sessions with my psychologist if I move home as I will be about 100 miles away. At the same time I'm concerned moving home will just set me back even more mentally. I already have anxiety and low self-esteem and there's parts of depression creeping into my life too.

I know in a way it's a good thing as it gives me the chance to make a clean break and get a job I like, but I feel so messed up I don't even know where to start

LegacyUser

Your all muddled up, your anxious and its causing your mind to run in 100 directions, all leading to some horrible outcome.

Let me tell you what my psychiatrist told me that helped me out.

You need to first focus your mind. so sit down with a piece of paper and write down "whats the worst that can happen?"

In this situation the worst that happens is you move home. is that so bad? is your family that horrible? I doubt it.

So whats the next worst thing that can happen? You are out of work for a few months. If you use that time constructively to update your CV, concentrate on whats good in your life and apply to other positions you will have a good chance of getting another job. if you dont, you dont. concentrate on upskilling, taking a course and being generally productive with your time.

Dwelling on one thing and thinking its "the worst possible thing" without actually realizing why you think its such a bad outcome will just lead to more anxiety and depression.

Learn that just because our life situation changes doesnt mean the outcome is awful.
And remember that life marches forward, not back, so regardless of what you think, what your doing is not a step backwards. its the next step to the next big thing!

Just work clearing your head and realizing your situation is not so bad and will get better! good luck!