prevention is better

crazygeryy

Theres been a load of burglaries in the area lately( and in the whole country by all accounts.)eg my 76 year old neighbour woke at 6 am they other morning to a noise.she went down stairs to find a scum bag standing in her living room.luckily for her he ran.
Has anyone got any tips on how to burgle proof your home , besides the obvious locks and alarms.booby traps etc even made up ones.

allibastor

put the last one , dead, over the front door. it works on crows who like to take shiny things so why not scum bags. you have to assume they have the same mental capacity.

FatherLen

claymore mines

JohnMarston

A dog that barks at intruders. A big one.

Bad Panda

Grab yo' glock! Burglars be trippin'.

General Zod

knock down all your interior walls, brick up your windows and turn your house into a two story panic room.

Then never leave your house and sell all posessions so there's nothing to steal.

Guill

Buy a shotgun.

Put a "I will not hesitate to blow your ****ing head off" sign on each window with a picture of you blowing the head off a nun.

Should do it.

El Weirdo

Just watch a documentary called "Home Alone". It has all the information that you need.

validusername1

You can get fake CCTV cameras for your house. They're cheap. People are a lot less likely to try to rob a house if they see or think there is camera on the front of it or inside it! See here http://www.henrys.co.uk/cctv/dummy.htm

DrumSteve

Become homeless.

mongoman

Bad Panda wrote: »

Grab yo' glock! Burglars be trippin'.

Masturbating at a burglar will achieve nothing.

HigginsJ

Buy a rocking chair and sit outside your front door all day every day gently carressing your shotgun while saying "soon my pretty, soon".

Yes it will be time consuming and you will probably go quite mad but at least you wont be burgled.

Shane732

prevention is better - always practice safe sex and wear sunscreen.

Dravokivich

A sign stating the following:

"These premises are under the protection of Liam Neeson."

1ZRed

FatherLen wrote: »

claymore mines

He could be using the "lightweight" perk and just run passed them unharmed.

Best bet is to use C4s and hope you get a kill streak for a predator missile

DonkeyStyle \o/

crazygeryy wrote: »

booby traps etc even made up ones.

Man-traps are illegal as far as I know.
Which is a pity because I have some million-dollar ideas.

Make your staircase into an escalator, it looks just like normal stairs and doesn't move until it detects someone climbing up, when they're half way up it starts moving... but it moves so fast that the person falls backwards (there are no moving handrails). The escalator would have sensors that allow it to alter its speed to keep the burglar rolling down the stairs indefinitely.
CCTV automatically captures the action and uploads it to youtube.

Gummy Panda

Get some bears

Wompa1

Similar to abortion. Prevention would be better but if somebody I don't want in my house forces his way in, I want to be able to scramble his brains and dump him in a skip out back. Is that so wrong?

southcentralts

pet cobra.

1ZRed

southcentralts wrote: »

pet cobra.

Pet honey badger :pac:

af_thefragile

Well, it seems like house alarms are completely pointless as no one gives a crap if the alarm on someone's house goes off...

So them high powered lasers that can slice a burglars legs clean off will have to be it then...

Jester252

catch one and perform weird sexual acts to him. Release him and nobody will go near you again

Cover your floor with bubblewrap(the large 3cm bubbles type)!
creep, creep,POP!, POP!, POP! BRRRP (brown trousers)

shuridunno

A sign saying...These premises are protected my sniper rifle 6 days a week, you guess which six.

We stopped getting a yard thieved and diesel stolen when we got dogs.
A JRT to wake the GSD, who turned out to be useless, but shur he looks the part.

Is it easy to break through pvc door and windows, or do people just sometimes forget to close them.

For the gun owners out there, hunters and the like, would you think you're capable of shooting an intruder. As in morally, I;m sure you could actually shoot them. I think if i had a gun, i'd probably drop it and accidently shoot myself.

crazygeryy

shuridunno wrote: »

A sign saying...These premises are protected my sniper rifle 6 days a week, you guess which six.

We stopped getting a yard thieved and diesel stolen when we got dogs.
A JRT to wake the GSD, who turned out to be useless, but shur he looks the part.

Is it easy to break through pvc door and windows, or do people just sometimes forget to close them.

For the gun owners out there, hunters and the like, would you think you're capable of shooting an intruder. As in morally, I;m sure you could actually shoot them. I think if i had a gun, i'd probably drop it and accidently shoot myself.

Jesus the dog in the pic on the right looks rather menacing.and yea thats the million dollar question if someone breaks in and you have a gun could you, would you shoot them?
Youd love to catch the ****er though.

shuridunno

crazygeryy wrote: »

Jesus the dog in the pic on the right looks rather menacing.and yea thats the million dollar question if someone breaks in and you have a gun could you, would you shoot them?
Youd love to catch the ****er though.

The dog on the right is an idiot, but maybe with time he'll improve, the dog on the left sleeps most of the time as she's old, but the tinctures are afraid of her and stopped calling to the house.

The_Thing

Buy yourself a machete. The next time someone tries to rob your house hack the ****er's head off and mount it on an spike in your front garden for all to see. After the hair, flesh, and what passes for brains in these sub-human scum has rotted away you can use the skull as a flower pot in your garden, the eye sockets will act as drainage holes when watering.

Fromthetrees

A heavy baseball bat is probably the best way to protect yourself in your home, obviously as a last resort but if you feel really threatened it's going to be your best friend.

Pottler

Join the French foreign legion, come back 3 years later, hard as fookin nails, hang from the attic using invisible wires and when the creamers come calling, drop noiselessly down and mash them with your bare hands. That'll learn em.