Embarrased by my manager in front of staff..very upset

LegacyUser

Hi all,
I'm writing this because I am really upset about something that happened last week. I work in retail and have been with a company for 5 years now.

I have been a model employee. I am the best seller in the store by a mile and I always told by the manager that I am doing a great job. I never take sick days unless I absolutely have to and I always bring in a cert.

About 3 weeks ago I hurt my ankle badly. I kept going to work on it for a week until I decided I needed it examined in hospital. I was given a cert for 3 days but told I will be in pain for about 6 weeks. The doctor recommended I take alot more time off to rest the injury but I wanted to miss the minimum number of days. I dropped the cert into the manager on the same day and explained the situation. The swelling and brusing is gone now but I still have a small scab from the point of impact.

Then on Tuesday I was sitting in the canteen with the manager and 3 other staff members. One of the other girls asked how my ankle was. I told her it was going ok so far and hopefully it will be ok for the day. My manager then said "sure whats wrong with it" and to show her the ankle. I also wear compression stockings for a varicose vein issue so i told her I would have to take them off. She said "show me, just show me". I told her the bruising and swelling is gone so she wouldn't see anything anyways. Again, she said "show me!".

I feel so embarrassed and betrayed in front of the other staff members. I have never given anyone a reason to doubt my word there, especialy not her.

I really don't know what to do. I feel so angry and want to tell her how upset I am but I don't want to lose my job.

Would love some advice on this as I don't want to face work tomorrow.

Wanderer2010

Your manager has some nerve to ask you that. Im assuming you only took a few days off against the advice of your doctor and went back to work as soon as possible. As you say, you are a great worker who doesnt take the mickey with sick days and your manager has no doubt relied on you to always be a great seller/perfect attender etc so when you were absent, you may have showed up her laziness or annoyed her as she had to deal with her least favorite employee. Either way, its no excuse for showing you up like that.

If i were you, I would very diplomatically ask her for a quiet word in the morning and say to her you were embarrassed to be publicy asked to show your injury and that if your boss has a problem with your sick days, she can take it to HR and then see her reaction, she will either back down or if her anger persists, tell her you would like to work under a different manager as you dont appreciate being humiliated like that. Good luck OP!

biko

Does your manager have a manager you can speak to?

LegacyUser

Thanks for the advice wanderer2010

biko wrote: »

Does your manager have a manager you can speak to?

Yes she does - the owners, but she is their golden child so there would be only one winner if I was to raise the issue My manager has been known to get into moods and everyone suffers.

I spoke to one of the girls that was present and she told me she was absolutely mortified by what happened. She was so embarrassed and felt so sorry for me.

I have busted my ass for the company for 5 years and there are a few employees that completely take the p!ss with sick days and not working. I've never seen the same happen to them.

I make more money in one day than everyone else combined on some days. I'm actively looking for jobs now because I deserve much better than this sh!t. I do need to make sure I get a good reference from them so it has to be an amiacable departure.

Thanks for the advice all, more is welcome!

tatli_lokma

idontdeservethis wrote: »

Yes she does - the owners, but she is their golden child so there would be only one winner if I was to raise the issue My manager has been known to get into moods and everyone suffers.

Quite possibly the only reason she is the 'golden girl' is because they are not aware of her behaviour. Unless they are there everyday to see how she interacts with staff, chances are they don't realise what she is like. I am sure she has the sense to be nice as pie and professional in her dealings with them. Do the owners know of your sales achievements? perhaps she takes the credit for it, or even indirectly by suggesting it is her management of the staff that has sales strong.

And after 5 years there, surely the owners have some idea of the type of worker you are and are aware of your benefit to the place. You must be a valuable employee surely? you have to know your own worth, or others never will.

If it were me I would mention it to the owners. There are times and ways to do such things...softly softly catchy monkey as they say! The right moment, and the right words could make a huge difference. You might be surprised with the reaction. I have always found, that if you need to 'rat' someone out, the best way to approach it is to avoid looking confrontational or bitchy. In fact even start with complimenting the manager - ease your way in. This is what I would say

"I have always worked well with <whatever her name is>, I think we all make a good team and I really enjoy working here. However there is something I want to mention to you and I hope you will appreciate that I am not one to talk out of turn or mention something if I didn't feel it important. last week <whateverhernameis> questioned my time off for illness in front of other staff. Now I know she probably didn't realise it at the time, and it probably wasn't intentional, but it made me feel really embarrassed in fron of the other staff and I was concerned that she was disbelieving the extent of my illness/injury. The reason I am bringing it to your attention is that it did make me embarrassed, but more so I have been worried that perhaps you and <whateverhernameis> question my committment to the job. I want to assure you that I really enjoy working here and would only call in sick in a genuine circumstance. If there is anything I have done that would make anyone think I wasn't genuinely sick I would hope you would tell me so that I could respond to your concerns"

By saying this, you are getting your point accross, but spinning it in such a way as you are only mentioning it because you wouldn't like them to be thinking badly of you. You are also letting them know what is going on without it looking like you are being overly critical. People always respond better to perceived criticism if it is wrapped up in a compliment!

InReality

Hi Op

It sounds like a very odd thing for anyone to ask
Could it be that your manager was just being extremely thoughtless
and nosy ?
and not that she was questioning if you were sick or not ?

anyhow I'd go along with the other posters advice , + you don't have to fix this straight away , talk to your manager or the owners when you feel up to it

richiek67

I agree with whats being said, you certainly deserve better, infact, no one should be treated like that in a job. These days I'm actually quite surprised it would happen. I work in a large company and this kind of thing would certainly NOT be tolerated whatsoever. The managers etc would have more cop anyway.
Well, you probably feel quite bitter about the whole thing and I guess this is natural but if you generally enjoy what you do and given you've been there 5 years it looks like you do , the best thing to do would be as one of the other replies suggested, go in softly to the owners and don't make out its a complaint exactly, usually best to treat softly but still give them the details of what happend and that you were quite 'taken aback' . Then listen to see what they have to say, that's always the key thing ....
If they react in a way that makes you believe you don't have a chance then its best to keep quiet and make out that you wanted them 'aware of the situation' at least then you know where you stand.
If they look shocked then give them a little more detail, state that you don't want to leave the company given your making x number of sales ( make them aware that YOU are the one selling the stuff)
but that you were quite upset with the whole thing.
I guess if you feel the former then its time to look for another job but by the looks of things I'm sure you'd get one no problem.
Let us know the outcome... Good luck.;)