new friends

LegacyUser

I was just wondering is it possible to make new friends at the age of 22? I know some of you will say of course, you're young, but I've had trouble making friends in the past, I'm afraid to get close to people because of fear of rejection, but I need to take a new step in my life.

I've gone through some issues, and my friends I have now, instead of supporting me and helping me, they made me feel bad about being different, and while I want to still be their friend, I want to meet new people, so I don't have to rely on them to go out or something!

I know there's meet ups and courses etc, but how easy have any of you found it?

Podgers

Hi OP,

you can meet new friends at any age. there are many clubs and organisations available, have you any hobbies or interest were you could meet similar like minded people? One organisation that is good is macra, now the stereotypical view of it is that its all young farmers etc. but being a member its more for the social element and there's so much they do, its great for building up your self-esteem and confidence.

Now getting back to you and how you feel, you say "they made me feel bad about being different" what is so wrong with being different? you cant be anyone else for everyone else is taken, so be yourself. you are a unique person, there will never be anyone like you nor never was, so be proud of who you are.

I spent years thinking there was something wrong with me, trying to fit in, like things because other people liked them, going along with the crowd. agree with people for sake of it. afraid that i wouldn't be accepted if I said something they would disagree with.

if you be yourself and be proud of it you will attract like minded people, and if people don't like who you are well that's there problem not yours, you can only be you at the end of the day. no one has to accept you only you have to if you know what I mean ;-)

Lux23

Oh OP, the exact same thing happened to me when I was your age and at the age of 30 I have several sets of friends I made over the last 8 years. I met people in lots of ways from going to meet ups on websites, through work, when I studied part time and I also made friends living with random people over the years.

ihsb

OP. I am 23. Two years ago I had finished college, fallen out with my best friend and at a loss. I joined meetup.com. It was hard work. I was the youngest at some of the groups, making conversation and building up relationships is all very hard. But it was well worth it. Most people at those things are looking to make friends. They wont think you are weird for asking or giving a phone number or email.

I now have a small but amazing close knit group of friends (aged up to 40 and one of them an African American) that is so diverse it is lovely. I also have connections to groups that I keep in contact with the people from so if I am ever at a loss of something to do for a weekend I can always find something.

I was crippling lonely (and obv still get like that still sometimes) but on the whole. I can safely say, it was the best thing I ever did.

Good luck OP. And stick with it! x

a fat guy

I'm 22 myself and i'd say you just need to reshape your outlook on life.

Once you realise the sheer scope of the amount of things that can happen in a single day, you'll come around I'll bet.

You could die tomorrow, or you could meet the love of your life.

Either way, why not try to be happy regardless of the result? It's the best choice that you can make for yourself.

boomtown123

I'm 22 too, feeling the same way. Lost/ditched a close circle of "friends" because they thought I was using my depression to be "cold" and "b*tchy" to them. I think its a matter of just getting up and getting out there.

Mugatuu

boomtown123 wrote: »

I'm 22 too, feeling the same way. Lost/ditched a close circle of "friends" because they thought I was using my depression to be "cold" and "b*tchy" to them. I think its a matter of just getting up and getting out there.

I also ditched a close circle of "friends" recently, constantly felt like crap when I was with them, but bypassed it for so long as they were my friends :rolleyes:

boomtown123

Mugatuu wrote: »

I also ditched a close circle of "friends" recently, constantly felt like crap when I was with them, but bypassed it for so long as they were my friends :rolleyes:

I know I just kept on worrying that I was going to be on my own - but what's the point being "friends" with these people when you know they aren't really going to be there for you and you feel like crap around them.

Vicxas

OP I was in your sitaution not long ago, Ditched a very close knit circle of friends
because i had outgrown them. Found myself very alone and sad.

But through work ive started to make new friends and it helps to get out and join a club etc, What hobbies do you have?

Neyite

OP you came to the right place - Boards! Friendships have been formed here, and there are several boardsies who have fell in love, some even married Its a great community.

Like you, I found it hard to make friends. And the friends I did have in my twenties all dwindled - either moved away for work or started their families so lost touch with them. I started posting here, and started to get to know others through their posting style, views on issues, and common interests, and over time, have gotten closer, and connected on facebook and I have some wonderful boardsies as friends now.

My next step is meeting some of them in real life - which will happen over the summer I hoppe - there are regular Boards Beers around the country and you can turn up and put faces to the usernames.. And I'm 37, so its not only possible to make new friends, it is necessary - people evolve over time and the ones that you had plenty in common with in your twenties, you may find immature or developing differing views and opinions from you as you get older.

I also made a new friend through an evening course - I got friendly with most of the class, and got to know a few of them as friends. Now some have went back to their busy lives, but one woman is a close friend now.

So, why not create a user name, and get posting on forums that catch your interest?

Big Bag of Chips

I am 34, and only in the last 4 years have I met the people that I now know will be my "old age" friends!

From school to college to work, friends come and go. I was 18 years in school with my "best friends". These people are little more than acquaintances to me now, purely because of our life paths. Geographically we're separated. Jobs & careers have nothing in common. The stages we are at in life are worlds apart. I have never fallen out with these people, we shared almost 20 years of life together! But we all change and we all go about our own business.

Here comes "the line".... You are young!

You have time. Have a look in your local library for groups you might like to join. Keep an eye on local papers. I think the younger you are, the harder it is to just join in, because - and I mean this in the best possible way - you are a bit self conscious and actually care about what others think of you.

The older you get the less you care! You start figuring out who you are, what you like and you build an intolerance for a*holes who think you should be someone else!

You are still in the mind frame of wanting to fit in. And that's absolutely normal and more common than you probably think. (have a look at all your friends, they probably all like the same thing, dress similarly, go to the same places etc.... They just all want to fit in too!) It takes time and maturity to come out of that mind frame.. and it seems you are already well on that road!

Difficult as it may seem, put yourself out there a little... And soon you will be the one on offering advise to a nervous newcomer!

Dravokivich

The hardest part of it is going to be "How do I put myself forward to a complete stranger?" Try to place yourself amongst a group of people that would have a common hobby/interest of yours. Will be easier to get involved in discussing stuff as there could be some common ground and introducing yourself.

meetup.com is often cited throughout boards as a place to lookup social/interest/hobby groups.

Big Bag of Chips

Would you consider a local drama group? It's great fun, and everyone is there for the same reason.

My cousin is the quietest person I know.. he joined our local drama group a few years ago and has transformed! Others in the group have also noticed it (in a good way!)

The age range goes from early 20s to 70s!

Edit: If acting isn't your thing, you can always help out back stage. Drama groups are always crying out for "behind the scenes" people. Because people not interested in being on stage, tend to steer clear!