worried about losing friendship

LegacyUser

I've been best friends with this girl for about 6 six years, and as the time went on our relationship grew and we got so close that people would think we were lesbians, even our family. Then last year, she moved in with two other friends and her boyfriend and I was left out of it (because I didnt have the money, which is fair enough).
In around new years, or just before, I began to get self esteem issues and was depressed and started taking antidepressents middle of april. I find they're really helping me focus on things easier and not to over think as much.

Thing is, my best friend and another friend have turned around to me recently and said they feel I'm not myself any more. One girl keeps saying that "when you get back to your happy self" but I thought I was and it threw me a bit to be honest. I thought about it and realised she was wrong, that I am happy. I know I could be happier but that I'm happier I've been in a long time. And she said that I should start showing it more. Again, this threw me because I thought I had been showing it. I thought I'd seemed happy and content when I was around them. Again, I thought about it and again, realised she was somewhat mistaken because it's not like I've been crying, or really quiet around them. Also, I shouldnt have to SHOW my happiness to her, she should just notice it. Plus, that they don't see me enough to really notice it.

MY best friend then says that she feels things are really different between us. I agree with her, but when I ask her how she just said "i don't know, they just are". I really don't want it to be weird between us, and I do know that her and the other girl might be a bit reserved when it comes to talking to me because they don't know how I'll react (based on previous occasions before I started the meds). But she keeps saying it's different, but doesnt do anything about it. I am all for rekindling this relationship, if I know she's going to put as much effort in as I would. I just feel like I can't do anything else. I am trying to get myself better and this has really confused me. I do feel I am happier, and a lot calmer. I am able to talk about things without crying and do find myself smiling and laughing more.

I ws just wondering, do other people think it was a bit unfair of them to say it? I felt it was a bit unkind, but I can still understand where they're coming from. They keep saying about me returning to my old self, but tbh I don't think I'll ever be that girl again. She had so many issues hidden deep, and they were eventually going to pop up, whehter its now or in ten years, but I am completely different now. I realise I have issues, and am dealing with them, albeit slowly. but i'm getting there. I just don't know whether I should be as bothered about this as I am feeling now..

sorry about the long post.

face1990

Beware of over-thinking it too much! It's the kind of thing that can get one all worked up and not thinking clearly!

When they said that, did you tell them that you are feeling happier now? They might be expecting you to change overnight, but obviously it's a slower process than that. It might be worth explaining that too. Not in a confrontational way but in a 'I actually am feeling happier, and thank you for caring' kind of way.
They could also be saying it to sort of encourage you to be happier (I know that's not much help to you, but its coming from a good place on their end).

A very close friend of mind suffered from depression for a while and I used to hate always asking him how he was feeling, but I would worry about him and needed him to keep me updated on how he was doing.
So I'd say communicate with them more about it. That may help to get rid of the weirdness between you and your best friend aswell.

P. Breathnach

Antidepressants affect your mood. That's what they are for. If you are generally feeling better, then they are working for you.

Very often when people are on antidepressants, they seem a bit different from how they were before. I presume that is what your friends are seeing.

Do they know that you are on medication? If they do, I would think they are being a bit insensitive. Don't treat that as meaning that I think they are in some way bad: it can be less than that, simply that they don't understand the effects of the medication.

Do they know that you were experiencing problems, or did you manage to keep things under wraps? You might be hoping for understanding from them while they haven't a clue that there is anything extra to understand.

Dealing with your own issues is more important than dealing with your friends' expectations, but the best situation would be if you could look after yourself and your friends understood your needs and supported you.