Just one of those things

LegacyUser

Going unreg for this.

So I need help with the age old question...how do you get someone off your mind.

27 yr old female knew this guy for years, we went to school together both went to different colleges. He recently (8/9 weeks ago) split from his girlfriend who had moved from a different country to be with him.

We met randomly and got back in contact. Went on a few dates, really connected, things probably went a bit too fast too soon especially after his relationship ending is still fairly recent. Sad that I didn't do things differently but c'est la vie.

Ive never been in a longterm relationship but thought this might go somewhere. Turns out it's not to be. When I suggested another date after the last one he ignored my suggestion so he's just not that into me, which is fine, ive been dumped/dumped someone before so I know the story but this time it feels different.

I just cant get him out of my head. The whole thing is driving me a bit insane. (its nearly 5 and I cant sleep) I know time is a great healer but finding it hard to start the process. I know some might say after a few dates I should get over it but the mind doesnt work that way although writing it down is helping somewhat.

Looking forward to hearing your views/advice

SunnyDub1

By the sounds of it the guys previous relationship was serious and It sounds to me like you where just a rebound for him TBH.

Most people after coming out of a long term relationship their head is all over the place and are unsure of what they want.
Some miss the whole "relationship buzz" like someone to call, cuddles, dates etc and I think thats why this guy came on to to you pretty serious and gave you false hopes.

It's not you personally that's the problem - The guy more than likely realized that he needs his own space after coming out of the relationship, and that's why he doesn't want to see you again. He probably doesn't want to be dating anyone at the moment.

I would try your hardest just to move on and forget about him. Go out with Friends, watch some TV, go for a walk - it will soon ease out of your mind

P. Breathnach

It's clear enough that you know it was a rebound, even though you probably blinded yourself to it at the time. And I'm sure you know that when a rebound relationship ends, it's really over.

Something to consider: the man you fell for is, in a sense, not the man he really is. He probably brought a lot of recent emotional baggage with him, which could have given a character to your encounter which would not otherwise be there. You may be crying over a person who doesn't really exist.

It doesn't soften the immediate pain, but perhaps it will help you get through it in time.

iona_buss

Bizarre, kind of going through something somewhat similar with an old friend from school too, only difference I wake up at 5/5.30 every morning! but sleep till then at least and the rebound thing appeared to be from my side, but was 6 months previously. Actually woke up the other morning with a nightmare about him, despite it now 2 months later I think, since trying to move on from him which really isn't good sign at all so decided to cut all contact as friends for a good bit and see will that work, well it has to, have tried all the other usual tricks.

Really feel though I messed it up and it's killing me too because I didn't answer a question honestly with a reason for that at the time but then maybe things would've been different if I had. I don't know, maybe not, everything usually works out in the end anyway. I'm finding it really hard to let go too, just due to the length of time he has been in my head and thought there may be more there.

Remaining friends is going to be hard and not wanting more for a long time. Still waiting it out and waiting for 'time' to be the great healer and hoping that a substantial amount of distance as friends for a while will do the trick so. I think you just really have to want to let that person go. Sorry I'm not much help and hope I haven't made the situation seem worse.

Take it easy on yourself when you can. We'll both be okay I'm sure and get there in the end.

I am a friend

are you still in touch with him?

LegacyUser

How long have you been trying to get over him, these things do take time.

LegacyUser

Hey all,

Thanks for your replies

im sure i'll get over it, I have no choice really. I'll have to continue on the dating scene

Iona, sorry to hear youre in the same position, it kinda sucks, especially when they're occupying your dreams that cant be good for the sanity!! Remaining friends is a nice idea in theory but it's almost impossible when one still likes the other...out of sight out of mind is probably true, achieving that is a different story though!! Hope you feel better soon...

I am a friend- not sure if you're asking me but we're not in contact, if I txt him im sure he'd reply but i'm gonna refrain from txting..until it's 3am again (I jest ;-)