Help a fellow boardsie get Engaged!

luckyinlove

I need some help from some boardies, ideally from those of you that have been through the engagement / ring selection process already. In a matter of weeks I plan on asking my lady to marry me, but first I have some questions of my own...

I know she wants us to shop for the ring together, but I'd still like to have something symbolic for the moment I propose. Any suggestions for what I could give her?. Staying within the confines of jewelery would be preferable, but unfortunately she doesn't wear a ring on her ring finger & I don't know her size. She's the sort that would guess straight away if I mentioned anything to do with rings/sizes/etc.

She has never shopped for an engagement ring with anyone else before either, and all I have done is plenty of research in to the 4C's / the diamond trade & looked around at lots of jewellers websites online. I know I don't fully appreciate the pros/cons of buying locally/abroad(Antwerp, etc) to sway my decision. I have seen as many compelling arguments either way. It also seems that the price of rings can vary massively between reality and what many would expect to pay at a glance. So I guess, for a couple that plan on shopping together...

Is there any groundwork that you can recommend I do first before I ask her to marry me? E.g. should I visit a few jewellers on my own first?
if so, how does that work? Do I need an appointment?, or do I just walk in and say "I'm shopping around for an Engagement ring".

How do you approach the matter of budget with the seller? E.g. if I have my lady beside me and we're looking at rings, do I disclose my budget to the seller to focus our review? (if so, when?). On the other-hand I would imagine it puts us in a weaker position to negotiate as the seller would then know what we're willing to spend.

All the other things like, what she likes, where, when, how, I've got covered, but when it comes to the actual process of shopping for & buying an engagement ring I'm at a loss.

Any help you can offer is genuinely appreciated. Thank you

Senna

We went on holidays with the plan of buying a ring together, but the week before we left i went into the local jeweller and bought a cheap ring for about €40.
I then proposed the night before we were due to buy the ring, she was shocked and surprised, but loved it. If we had of bought the ring together without me proposing then i suppose i wouldn't have got down on one nee and proposed or if i did she would have been waiting on it.
With my way i got to surprise her with a proposal in a romantic area and she got the ring she really wanted.

Gatica

Most of the jewellers we went to were able to look after us on the spot, no prior appointment. They usually have a separate little room they use and they bring out their selection of rings.
If you're worried about budget then why not ask them to bring out rings up to whatever value before you get to the shop. That would require fore-planning and a prior appointment buy would make it easier for you budget-wise and she doesn't have to know the cost.
A friend of ours made an appointment with a jeweller designer before proposing and after the proposal that morning they went straight to the designer and started the process of designing their own ring. I think that was a really lovely idea.
I think research into the stones etc will only get you so far. At the end of the day the main thing will be whether she loves the ring or not, in which case the 4C's will go out the window! The upside is of course that you wanna make sure you get a good deal and are not ripped off on a poor quality diamond.

amdublin

You can buy dress rings from marks and spencers or Zaragoza or oasis.
They look like engagement rings and cost approximate €15.


Otherwise get a big tacky fun ring from claires accessories.

Good luck proposing!

Gatica

also, my fiance got me a necklace to propose with. It was something I'd commented I liked before when we were xmas shopping for the family.
it was a lovely idea cos I still get to wear it.

RHN Ireland

My Fiance robbed a ridiculously tacky costume jewellry ring that I had for a fancy dress party and proposed with that and I happily wore it for 6 or 7 hours till we picked and got my actual engagement ring. It's gone from being something I didn't even know was missing to be something that I'll keep forever...

And similar to you I had let it be known that if I was getting an engagement ring I'd prefer to pick it out and I'm so glad that's what happened as it turns out I didn't like typical engagement rings when they were on my finger...

Can't help with negotiation but definitely feel free to use a fun piece of costume jewellery to propose with initially.

The Davestator

amdublin wrote: »

You can buy dress rings from marks and spencers or Zaragoza or oasis.
They look like engagement rings and cost approximate €15.


Otherwise get a big tacky fun ring from claires accessories.

Good luck proposing!

Yep - got one for €3.50 in Clares and it went down a treat until the real (slightly more expensive) replacement was chosen by her!

beltzar

Hey Luckyinlove,

I think if you picked out a nice ring with her birthstone in it....Google the month of her birthday and find out what stone is her birthstone and then go into town and choose a nice one.

Sentimental value all the way! Personally I very much like any of the rings on etsy.com or the Silver Trout in town beside St Stephens Green shopping Centre. It has a lot of costume rings in silver with CZ diamonds so you can get a really nice ring for under €100 and it will still look the real thing. And lots of rings with birthstones in them.
If you tell the jeweller that you dont know her size and ask will they should be able to resize the ring as they make the rings themselves so it shouldn't be a problem, and I reckon they wont charge for it.

When we went "engagement ring" ring shopping we looked at a few rings he told us the price, I picked the ring I liked (said we'd be back the next day for it) and my OH went back in the next day to negotiate and got a good bit off I believe so i dont know how much he paid in the end.

Good Luck!!

amdublin

I think €100 is an awful lot to spend on a "dress" ring.

Particularly when you could use it to put towards the actual engagement ring.

If it was me I'd either get a tacky fun ring or a v cheap dress ring that looks like an engagement ring. Either way I'd try keep it around a tenner.

Rew

I borrowed sample ring from a jeweler. We ended up buying the actual ring off him as well but there was no obligation to.

luckyinlove

Thank you all so much for the replies & suggestions, I really appreciate it

It's good to know that engagement ring shoppers can walk in off the street without prior appointment.

It has been said already that you can call up in advance, disclose your budget and have the jeweller only bring out rings within your budget when you both go in to view by appointment. This is obviously has its merit, but on the other hand my concern is that it could put you in a weaker position to haggle as the seller now knows how much potentially you're worth to them, which in any negotiation is really not something you want to lay out on the table too early (if at all). It seems to be a real catch22 situation. Typically how does this go....

Buyer: We're shopping for an engagement ring
Seller: Great!, here's a beautiful collection (all 10k+ & knowing fine well all they have to do is judge my reaction over time to determine what I can afford).
Me: Eh, thanks

My question I suppose is that the seller has done this many times before, so what's the sort of etiquette/routine we can expect from them?

Gatica

sure, you'll get a seller in a shop trying to get you to love the big massive expensive diamond. Best approach, be honest, tell them your budget and let them know you're not messing about. your budget's your budget and there's no way around it. if they want your business they'll have to show you something you can actually afford to buy, and they will... don't worry, they're also people, so they'll understand.

December2012

you could have a look around yourself first. That's not weird - people do that.

You would be surprised the difference in what you can get for the same amount of money.

WHen I got engaged 9 years ago, we got a better quality ring in an Off Grafton Street Jewellers that you would think is very expensive. We had also looked at some of the other jewelry shops around and some of the "cheaper" shops. The cheaper shops were actually much more expensive than the place we ended up buying.

PM me if you want names.

luckyinlove

December2012 wrote: »

WHen I got engaged 9 years ago, we got a better quality ring in an Off Grafton Street Jewellers that you would think is very expensive. We had also looked at some of the other jewelry shops around and some of the "cheaper" shops. The cheaper shops were actually much more expensive than the place we ended up buying.

You see that is exactly the reason why I'm on here asking questions. I fully appreciate how easy it could be to limit our options in terms of quality. At the end of the day I want my lady to get the ring she wants, but I don't want to end up paying above & beyond for what we get either.

Any strategies for haggling? (from those of you that tried). I suspect there is more to just buying a ring. E.g. after care, freebies, wedding bands, etc, etc. It would be great if I could get a handle on the full picture when assessing value for money.

December2012

Usually they will offer a discount on wedding rings / watches too.

luckyinlove

Thank you @December2012 for PM'ing your recommendations for relevant jewellers in Dublin.

Can anyone else offer their recommendations, perhaps where you bought yours in Dublin and what sort if experience you had. Even places you think we should stay away from would be useful. I plan on spending at least one full day (if not 2) in Dublin city centre, and want to cover a few select bases.

I'm not sure if posting such information (despite my request) is allowed here. So I'd certainly welcome your suggestions via PM either way.

Thank you all for your help, I really appreciate it

Sleepy

Forget value for money. It doesn't exist in diamonds. No matter what you do, as a retail buyer, you're going to be shafted on them.

Best advice if you want value for money is to look second-hand (some nice stuff pops up on adverts from time to time) or look at antique jewellery on eBay.

luckyinlove

Thank you @pooch90 for your PM & suggestion.

So far I have 2 concrete places to visit in Dublin. Anybody else with suggestions?

pooch90

U going to try out my recommendation?

Storm_rages

Op you could try auction houses, there are two in Dublin that do jewellery. Its a good way to get diamonds for less and if you don't like the way the ring is set you could always just get the diamond taken out and made into the ring of her dreams. Also they are great for getting an inexpensive first ring. Good luck by the way

luckyinlove

Thank you all so far. I suppose I should clarify a little. Truthfully we are unlikely to attend an auction or purchase a second hand ring. Not that there is anything wrong or inferior in terms of the ring but I think in our case it is not the experience I know she'll want. The main reason I am not buying the ring before the proposal is purely because I know how much shopping for a diamond engagement ring would mean to her. I want to make an experience out of it, hotels, dinner, fancy shops & as much fuss over her as she gets to choose a ring.

It's obviously not the sort of thing we get to do that often so the experience is important to us both.

I know I said before that I don't want to get screwed on value & it's true, but if the pursuit of value negatively infinged upon her experience overall, I would consider that more of a waste.

Also antique rings aren't really her style. So what we're ideally looking for are reputable jewellers in Dublin City centre that we can visit & where we could pick from a wide selection of rings. I would expect at least dozens if not hundreds of rings to choose from overall for someone with a reasonable budget in the current climate.

Anywhere special spring to mind? - also by that I don't necessarily mean, some hidden away gem of a shop that few people would know about. That's cool, but if the Weirs on Grafton St was a good choice for someone, I'm open to high street jewellers like that too.

ronn

ive been watching your posts luckyinlove, im the same boat as yourself, would you or anyone else please forward me the pms you got in relation to which shops to go to in the city center,

07734

you could try weldons, behind Brown Thomas. they have a line of new jewellery as well as antique rings.

also breretons new shop on grafton street.

luckyinlove

07734 wrote: »

you could try weldons, behind Brown Thomas. they have a line of new jewellery as well as antique rings.

also breretons new shop on grafton street.

Thank you very much I really appreciate any suggestions I can get at this stage

jjdo

Hey

I would suggest looking for an engagement ring in Antwerp. We are just back and found it fantastic. We had looked around all the shops in Grafton Street and although we wanted to support Irish businesses we couldn't justify paying €4,000 more (at least) for a similar diamond. We had looked at all the posts on boards.ie about Antwerp which were really helpful. The flights (ryanair to Charleroi) and accommodation (3 nights) worked out at €350 in total for both of us. We contacted the five jewellers listed as members of the Antwerp diamond association in advance to ensure they would have diamonds sourced when we arrived and to schedule an appointment. Make sure to do your research in advance in the shops around Dublin so you have narrowed down what you are looking for.

We had a great experience - learned so much about diamonds when we were there, each jeweller teaches you loads and shows how to look at the diamonds through a microscope and what to look for. A further huge difference is that the variety of diamonds on offer is very large in comparison to Dublin, so not only was the diamond cheaper but we could also source a bigger diamond with a great cut and flaws not visible to the naked eye which would not have been available in Dublin.

Good Luck!

Jems

jjdo wrote: »

Hey

I would suggest looking for an engagement ring in Antwerp. We are just back and found it fantastic. We had looked around all the shops in Grafton Street and although we wanted to support Irish businesses we couldn't justify paying €4,000 more (at least) for a similar diamond. We had looked at all the posts on boards.ie about Antwerp which were really helpful. The flights (ryanair to Charleroi) and accommodation (3 nights) worked out at €350 in total for both of us. We contacted the five jewellers listed as members of the Antwerp diamond association in advance to ensure they would have diamonds sourced when we arrived and to schedule an appointment. Make sure to do your research in advance in the shops around Dublin so you have narrowed down what you are looking for.

We had a great experience - learned so much about diamonds when we were there, each jeweller teaches you loads and shows how to look at the diamonds through a microscope and what to look for. A further huge difference is that the variety of diamonds on offer is very large in comparison to Dublin, so not only was the diamond cheaper but we could also source a bigger diamond with a great cut and flaws not visible to the naked eye which would not have been available in Dublin.

Good Luck!

+1

we did this and loved the whole experience and being away for a weekend. you will need to make appointments for antwerp. the ADJA members are here and they only work monday - friday so keep that in mind.
we got a fairly significant discount, cash speaks louder on this front so be prepared if you want a ring that needs to be made it can take 2-3 weeks and some people go back for the day to collect or you can have it shipped. my e ring was a simple solitaire so was made the same day.
we got at 20% discount on our wedding bands and these were shipped to us at no cost.
if you want any more info pm me.

good luck!

Va Va Voom

Hi I'm planning on going to Antwerp to buy a ring, any recommendations on where I should go in Antwerp? I looked up diamondland have you ever heard of this place?

jjdo

Va Va Voom wrote: »

Hi I'm planning on going to Antwerp to buy a ring, any recommendations on where I should go in Antwerp? I looked up diamondland have you ever heard of this place?

We went to diamondland-it is fine but it's more like a supermarket of diamonds, I got the impression they aren't as flexible on discounts etc as its a bigger operation. You'll see loads on boards about Phillips Harold and joe Katz- they were both fine however they were expensive in the sense they were trying to sell us more perfect diamonds which were smaller. I found geretti and joallerie du centre more practical and personal- I wanted a big diamond with loads of sparkle they sourced the type of diamond I wanted in advance (make sure to email what you are looking for in advance-do your research in Dublin) and were more prepared. I would say all of these 5 jewellers are excellent but it comes down to personal
Preferences-good luck!

sandraryan100

Folks, my husband picked out my ring- which i loved, but the jeweller, a very well known reputable place in Dublin, was more than happy for me to come in and exchange it if I wanted to! It was the best gift ever, I'd have spent YEARS looking and comparing:D So it was fab to be presented with it!
Lots of friends did antwerp too and raved about it so it cant be bad!

mrsnewbie

hi, if you have an idea what you want.. style of ring.. suggest it to her.. she won't mind how much you are spending I wouldn't imagine so be honest with her about the budget so you won't be embarrassed in the jewellers. Not every style of ring suits the persons fingers so you are right to make it special choosing it together.. it was my favourite part. Fields have an online gallery but I would suggest Lunn's in Victoria Square Belfast.. you could make a weekend of it.. you get treated really well (champagne while you browse) and they have an online gallery and you can reserve the ring.. we got exactly what we wanted and my man chose the ring... he didn't propose with one but it was around Hallowe'en and we had a laugh with a Brack ring.

If you want an idea for something to propose with, a Thomas Sabor Charm bracet with a ring charm?? You can get a nice pearl elegant looking one.. really pretty and she will always have it. Best of luck you you and congrats!!

Va Va Voom

Thanks for all the help, maybe I don't need to go to Antwerp at all were on holiday the weekend I'm planning so was thinking I would surprise her with a little detour to Antwerp on the way to our holiday destination & thought I might get better value. Does anyone now if you have to go Monday to Friday or do the main Jewelers work the weekends aswell, also does anyone have a rough Idea what kind of savings can be made in comparison to Irish prices, thanks again

ShaShaBear

My fiance proposed to me initially with the ring my dad gave to my mother to propose. My mother knew my size, so it was redone to fit me without my knowing. It was meant to be a provisional ring with the intent of me picking out my own and such, but I was so overwhelmed by the thought that I've decided to wear it (my dad passed last year and my fiance never got to meet him). I've always loved the ring, and Pierce loves the history behind it

luckyinlove

I would just like to take this opportunity to thank you all for your fantastic help - Last night shortly before 10pm I got down on one knee, popped the question & she said "Yes!"

So we'll be arriving in to Dublin tomorrow around noon for 2 days of browsing/shopping. It took her a few hours to get over the initial shock. She couldnt believe it & I couldn't have asked for a better reaction. She didn't leave me hangin or anything

In the end i had to sit her down with a strong cup of tea in our hotel room, while she got her head around what just happened. There was tears, hugs, kisses & lots of laughing .

Thanks again one & all