breast reduction

LegacyUser

I spoke with my GP recently about getting a breast reduction on the VHI. It's something I've thought about on & off for years but I always put it to the back of my mind. I've tried to come to terms with the way my body looks and I have tried to accept it but I feel I really can't accept myself while I have these over large boobs.

My GP said I would have no problem getting the operation. She was so supportive, even a blase about it to be honest. My counsellor, whom I've worked with for the past few months, doesn't think it's a very good idea. I've spoken to both at length about my body dysmorphia so they both know my struggle.

I've always felt this way about my boobs, ever since I developed. It's impacted on my life in a big way. I suffer from poor posture, neck and back pain although it isn't terrible. I'm so embarrassed by the way they look. I only had a breast exam for the first time recently as I was so ashamed about them. I cringe when my friends tell me I've a great rack- they've never seen me naked. My sex life is pretty non existent. I feel so disconnected when I do have sex with anyone- I feel like men must be so disappointed when they see my boobs naked, although no one has ever said it to me. I don't see how I could be sexually attractive to anybody. I feel like there are 'two me's'- one is the loveable, kind, fun, caring, smart, strong personality who is a great friend, sister, daughter, colleague. The other is this hideously ugly, fat, unattractive 'physical' me. I don't know how to fuse the two together. I feel trapped by my body in so many ways.

I felt a huge weight off my shoulders(!) when the doc told me I was a candidate for surgery. I spoke to my therapist about it & she was aghast at the idea. She really feels that it wouldn't solve anything. She thinks I should try to love & accept all of myself as I am now. I can see her point in a way. But I feel like, no matter what I do or try to accept myself, it is completely pointless. No matter what I do, I can't change the look of my boobs. If anything, they will look worse if I lose weight. It's not like I look at any other body part & want to change that with surgery or anything. I can accept the rest of me or just work on the bits i don't like with diet & exercise. But my boobs have always been over large, a bit saggy & lop sided. I also know that no one is perfect or perfectly happy with their bodies. And I know that the surgery is a big risk, that I will be left with scars & with risk of complications.

I just don't know what to do. I'm not looking for an answer from anybody but some words of advice would mean a lot.

Taltos

OP - please note as per the FAQ we cannot give you any medical advice - surgical, psychological or otherwise..

Taltos

P. Breathnach

There may be nothing wrong with your breasts: I don't know, because I have not seen them (and no, I'm going down the road of being prurient). You don't even tell us how big they are. All we know is that they are bigger than you would like them to be. You also acknowledge that you have body dysmorphia; I am sure that you recognise that a dislike of some aspect of your bodily appearance is not always rooted in an objective judgement.

Your posture and pain problems might not be caused by the size of your boobs, but by efforts to conceal their size. Again, I don't know: I am simply mentioning possibilities for you to consider.

My own view is that it is appropriate to have surgical intervention to deal with a deformity. I don't know if your breast size would be considered a deformity by anybody other than yourself. It seems that at least some people think that you have an asset rather than a problem.

I have to admit that I'm struggling a bit here, between dealing with limited information and the expectation here that we should not make ourselves to be experts. I think it is okay to point out that some women have a negative attitude to their own bodies because of inappropriate attention during puberty, especially comments from their peers. If you think possible that your attitude was shaped by things people said when you were pubertal, then I suggest that you persist with the talking therapy option for another while.

edellc

If you want a breast reduction then get it, I know that my boobs have changed size over the years depending on how much weight I am carrying and at the moment after having a baby and still having the weight they are quite large. I was a DD before my son now I'm and F/G and hate it. I never thought they would have such an impact on my life but they do, I have back pain not from trying to hide them because you can but because they are so bloody heavy, you spend a fortune on bras, exercising is hard going with them as no matter how much I try strap them down I cant, trying to buy clothed that they fit into without actually buying a tent to wear is a nightmare, so OP i totally understand how you feel about your breast.

If this is not making you happy and its not made you happy since puberty then go for it, my sister in law had her's reduced a good few years ago now and the difference in her is amazing she doesnt have the back pain, the remarks by ppl and can wear fitted clothes.

I think you counsellor is not being very helpful at all, maybe she is being this way as the longer you have issues the longer you go to her the more money she gets out of you....just a thought

Yes we all need to accept our bodies for what they are, nothing wrong with that but your breast size and the effects it has on your body when they are big is not acceptable and can cause other medical problems and this needs to be addressed.

Next time you visit your GP get more info on it, also do a pros and cons list just for yourself about this surgery and what effect you think it may have on your life, if there is more pros well you know what you need to do.

Best of luck with your decision, and make sure its your not your councillor, nor your GP's but your decision OP

Peace and love x

Ickle Magoo

What about a change in therapist? That way you both move to one that is more supportive and in-tune with what you'd like for your own life and you get to see if a different therapist would make the same recommendations.

Without knowing your full story/medical history (which you shouldn't be telling us anyway) it's very difficult to say whether your counsellor is justified in thinking you should keep on with the therapy before making irreversible surgical decisions - either way tho, I suspect you require a therapist who isn't going to be "aghast" at the choices you have every right to make.

All the best

LegacyUser

thanks for taking the time to reply to my post. I was feeling very low, angry, sad and frustrated when I posted and just needed someone else's perspective on things. Definitely wasn't looking for any medical advice or for anyone to make my decision.

I suppose my issue is that I don't trust myself or my capacity to make this decision at the moment, mainly due to the body dysmorphia. It's frightening not to trust what you see in the mirror or in pics or to trust what anyone else says to you.

I just switched therapists recently, on recommendation from my old therapist, as to this new woman she deals specifically with eating distress and body dysmorphia. I know she is challenging me in new ways & trying to challenge my thought patterns and perceptions so I suppose that's why I'm wary of making any decisions yet. I understand where she is coming from & I am resisting as I don't like change or being challenged to see that I might be wrong in my thinking. I'm used to making a decision to change something and then carrying it out. I like tangible results & I'm frustrated at my lack of progress.

I felt elated coming out of the docs surgery & felt light at the end of the tunnel. I felt so low and frustrated and hopeless after the therapy session. My mind is just all over the place so I won't be making a decision for a few weeks anyway. I feel I want to go ahead with it but I don't trust this decision.

I don't know how to love & accept myself as I am now without making that physical change to be honest.

Thank you.

P. Breathnach

Franknboobs wrote: »

... My mind is just all over the place so I won't be making a decision for a few weeks anyway...

Good. Hasty decisions are often bad ones.

Try, if you can, to keep your mind open to the possibility that you might come to accept, even like, your body as it is.

Roobaroo

Hello OP. From what I read in your posts, it seems that you want to do the operation, but not getting enough support emotionally?

In your latest post you mentioned that you felt happy after seeing the surgery doctor (you started to see the light at the end of the tunnel), but after meeting with your therapist/s, you were dissapointed. Your therapist speciallizes in body dysmorphia, she is helping you to accept and challenge your body the way that you have not thought about before, but it seems that it is not what you actually need at the moment?

Since you feel strongly towards the operation, I would suggest talking to people who have experienced it. Sometimes we want to do something, but needs a bit of a 'push' to do it. Ask your GP or the surgery doctor if they can recommed a group that you could talk to. Hopefully you can see how the operation affects their life (an example was mentioned by edellc) and you would get some support along the way.

All the best OP.

Esoteric_

Hi OP, I really feel for you.

I know you say that your body dysmorphia may be playing a part in how you're thinking about your breasts, so ask yourself this - are they bigger than average? Much? If they're a cup size bigger than average, I wouldn't personally do it, but speaking as someone who has a 36G bust, as a size 14, I can totally see why you'd want to do it. My counsellor also tried to turn me off the idea (although I don't have body dysmorphia), and nothing is deterring me, I will be getting it done once I've saved enough for it.

If you have body image issues, I'm sure there is more than just one thing (your breasts) that you don't like. Yet your breasts are the one thing that you are determined to change. I don't know about anyone else, but that indicates to me that you're being realistic, and not letting your body dysmorphia affect your decision too much. If you truly feel that this one surgery will make your life happier, go for it. Just bear in mind that the scarring can be very bad, so you have to decide which is worse; scarring or the size your breasts are at the moment? I know I'd choose to have scarring if I could have the operation today.

Good luck, OP. Do what you want, and don't worry about what your counsellor is saying in opposition to it. You sound like you have your head screwed on with regards to this issue.

tbh

sunflower27 wrote: »

OP, what do you want to do? Your counsellor is not the one to make the decision and frankly, I am quite surprised by her attitude.

You are a candidate for surgery so this is not some 'body issue'.

the op has said that she's suffering from body dysmorphia, so it could well be a 'body issue'. The therapist is worried that the OP is associating more general problems with specific body issues - the danger is that she may undergo surgery and still be left with the underlying issues. The fact that the GP accepts she is a candidate for surgery suggests there maybe something in her opinion, but she should proceed with caution.

Glinda

Had a reduction almost eleven years ago. I went from a 36H to a 36C. I have never regretted it for a minute, I only regret that I spent so long with a body I hated when there was a relatively straightforward answer.

There were a lot of people at the time that said I was being ridiculously vain, that I was taking an unnecessary risk with an anaesthetic for the sake of my looks, and that were generally horrified by the idea.

My view would be that it is completely pointless and a waste of time living with something that's making you unhappy and self-conscious if there's no need to. Having said that, I was completely sure that the issue making me unhappy was the appearance of my bust, plain and simple. I looked like a middle-aged dairy cow with great, pendulous melons hanging down to my waist (in my twenties, not a good look!). I had a bit of backache, but to be honest my real motivation was that I hated how I looked and it was really, really bothering me. Every day.

After the op, I spend a short while smiling every time I caught a glimpse of myself in the mirror looking 'normal'. After another while I just forgot completely about my bust - never think about it at all now (except maybe to be secretly pleased for a second or two whenever I put on a swimsuit or get fitted for a bra).

Don't let other people's opinions push you into something that will make you unhappy, or mean you stay that way longer than you need to. They don't have to live with your decision - you do!

In the end of the day, if you are sure that you would like a smaller bust, then breast reduction is a safe and generally successful way to achieve this.

neuro-praxis

I say focus on your recovery and put this to one side for now.

Once recovered, return to the issue and make the decision then.

Try praising your breasts to yourself every day in the shower. Your subconscious needs some nice, kind words to your body to regain the body-mind connection. You can't be friends with something you hate.