Unusual situation - please keep an open mind

LegacyUser

Please bare with me while I get this out. Its also going to sound off the wall, but I assure you I am perfectly sane (educated/job). Please keep an open mind. All different walks of life come here to get advice.

I was dating this guy. It ended bout 6 months ago. My behaviour was not what you would attribute to "normal" (there is a reason I will get to). I acted very odd. Very awkward and shy, and of course he then thought I was all the above.

I must digress in telling the story. I have unreal intuition. Things I shouldnt know, I know. "Things" pop into my head (no voices). I find it hard to interact with people because of this. I pick up on vibes straight away. Often I will see things, as if a memory (the only way I can explain it). Most of the time I say nothing, because I dont know if am butting into people's business or not. I kindof try and stay away from people as it all gets confusing and its like overload.

There have been many many things I have been right on or knew (dont think Ive ever been wrong), but I will try and intercept/say something if I feel it is going to help the person. Also, it only seems to be with people I like or connect/have some sort of link with...that come through clearer and quicker.

Anyways, bout 3/4 months before I met this guy, I knew I would meet him. I didnt know what I was seeing/feeling was meant for me. More often than not, I cant tell anything about me or my own life. So 3/4 months later I was surprised when I realised the message was meant for me. And boom for me was like sparks flew. Felt right. Im not sure in what capacity - but it felt like I was supposed to know him. But I didnt show him. I didnt show him because I was scared. Am just human after all. I was so confused. Why was this guy coming into my life? What was the reason? (I strongly believe everything, even **** situations, happen for a reason). I behaved as if I didnt like him. But I did have feelings for him. Strong feelings. A connection. A brilliant connection. Like there was a purpose to meeting him (not just in a bf/gf/partner way). Something more than that. But I got little flashes that this might not be the right time (why did life send him to me if it wasnt the right time?). But in the end, he said he wanted to be friends.

I obviously never told him any of the above. Scared he would think I am mad I guess. He is a science person. Anyways, for the last few months, it has felt like what I can only describe as a shadow behind me. The constant feeling of he will get in contact and everything will work out. But when, I dont know. Even if he did, I dont know how to explain myself or if I should. Its like waiting for something that you know will happen, but the not knowing when is driving me mad.

I dont know how else to explain myself. Anyways, I took matters into my own hands (this didnt feel right but the whole situation driving me mad) and texted him, prob about 10 days ago at this stage, and have heard nothing. I know I cant force anything. And I wouldnt. But its like a "when will he realise" situation. Hurry up world/life/situation!

Do I leave it, or do i try explain myself? I am so conscious. My instinct says that you will explain when the time is right/your paths will cross again, but right now with no reply, its like I will never see him or talk to him again. Only a few people know my "secret". I never got the opportunity for him to see the real me. Im now doubting myself, something I never did, that maybe I am wrong about all this. But again the over whelming feeling of "wait" is literally booming through me.

Thanks for reading. Please dont be too hard on me. You may or not believe me, but please remember I have feelings too.

Taltos

OP - I think you have done all you can do at this stage.
Right now either you wait or you just get on with your life and hopefully he will get back in touch.

For what it is worth I think you should be proud that you took the initiative here and right now draw a line under this and move on. Too many people stay quiet out of fear - you had the guts to speak up (or text )

Will keep my fingers crossed but in my opinion I don't think you should chase after him again - just me though.

analucija

OTbh I think you blew it. Your visions are not relevant because he doesn't know about them. To him your hot -cold behaviour probably came across as a bit weird or maybe as playing games. I'd just advise you to act yourself next time. If you like someone go for it and if you don't don't. Forget the visions and follow your feelings, it is easier and maybe even the visions will change with time.

Edit: I don't think explaining will help. Your feelings and visions are hard to understand or believe and you might just come across as desperate. So if chance brings you two back together then be yourself and if not, forget about him.

LegacyUser

Honest, thanks for the replies. I was scared Id be literally ostracised.

This is something I cannot control. I do not want to be like this. I do not do it harmfully or with bad intention-I do not look for it. I am who I am, and I am not mental because my intuition surpasses the "norm". I assure you I lead a very uneventful life.

Bar some connections with people in general, I have only felt this strong, unbelieveably stong link/connection with 2 other people in my life-it is not a feeling of love - it surpasses that (I dont know how to explain to you all in words) - my younger sister and my grandmother (now passed). This is a small example 9of many), but when my grandmother died, I knew instinctively straight away she had passed. I even went and said goodbye to her the evening before. Probably one of the hardest things Ive ever done.

I was not prepared to have this sort of connection with a guy (whom Ive now blown it with). Confused the hell out of me. How could I have told all that to him? I still have the usual human emotions on top of all the ones described above. How can you move on, when you feel something is coming (could be 20 years for all i know)?

LegacyUser

You should send him an email or something, and basically explain like you did in this post. He's probably vaguely aware of it ('it' being your intuition) already, and in fact he probably deserves an explanation if there is a risk he was feeling he was getting hot/cold vibes. Im sure he will appreciate the explanation. If your worried he may judge you tone it down and if he still does then he's prob not worth the fuss.

Mc Kenzie

hey op!

i believe in intuitions strongly as a spiritual person and have often experienced dreams that in a unusual way portray somthing that may happen. but i try not to think to deeply into things as sometimes we may get the wrong end of the stick even if we have an instinct or intuition.

My advised is that no matter how strongly you feel, you need to carry on with your life, dont dwell on something you feel will happen.Life has diferent paths that we can choose to take its its any probability that we choose another.

im a great believer also in what is meant to be,.......will be

analucija

But you said yourself it's not the same as love. Maybe you will have strong connection with him one day but it could be completely platonic like your connection to your sister and granny. I'm not spiritual person so it is hard for me understand your feelings but trying to understand your position, I don't think you stated anywhere what role he is supposed have in your life. He could end up being one of your really good friends. I just hope you will leave your options open.

Lisha

Hi OP,

Im just wondering would it be possible that this man might be an important figure in your life but just not as your romantic life partner? It is just a thought. By trying to preempt what is going to happen in any way you could be limiting a possibility that life has in store for you. I know it is easier said than done but you need to allow life to happen.

I agree with the other posters who say that what is meant for you wont pass you. I really wish you all the best OP

LegacyUser

Mc Kenzie wrote: »

sometimes we may get the wrong end of the stick

I swear on my life to you, I know what you are saying, but I dont ever remember not being wrong. Alot of the time I choose not to say anything, unless I feel someone needs help (like I do now). Doesnt happen to me in dreams. I rarely dream. I just get an over-whelming sensation/knowing feeling, maybe an image and usually it passes (Ill either say something if I feel its appropriate or not say anything). But this is hanging around me now for months and it is not getting any easier, its actually getting stonger. I dont want this!! That is the bottom line.

Ive has long term relationships-I know what it feels to be heart broken/break up with someone. This is different. All Im getting-very stongly right now even as I type is "he isnt ready", and its driving me mad. I dont know how to contol it to move on. How to move on with this, what is now proving to be a curse of a sensation/feeling and live my own life?

LegacyUser

Lisha wrote: »

By trying to preempt what is going to happen in any way you could be limiting a possibility that life has in store for you

You are 100% correct and that is what I am terrified of. I cannot waste years waiting for something to happen! It is clouding me. But this darn thing wont go away. I dont want this. I've never had it last this long. Am so unhappy. Cant get rid of it, and cant find out anything about it. And nothing from him to make it go away. Its like being stuck/caught in limbo. I so want it to go away.

LegacyUser

Hi OP,
I was very interested reading your post as I think I am somewhat similar to you in that I also seem to have a very overdeveloped sense of intuition and I also get those feelings about people (often stuff like knowing that someone new is going to become a very close friend...but then I have to remind myself that they don't know that and that I am not there yet and have to go through the whole process at a normal speed instead of jumping straight to best mates ). I have had a very similar situation to you too with the 'waiting' thing and second-guessing myself and my motives - which I find just leads to me being a) confused and b) wrong.

But anyways, this isn't about me! I think trust your instinct and wait. Don't get in touch again. You've made your gesture and if it is a case that he has a greater purpose in your life then you'll just have to wait until that becomes apparent. I know that's awful and head-wrecking but try to get on with life in the meantime. I don't' think trying to force things with him will help. I also wouldn't advise explaining to him how you feel, as unless the person has had some experience of those type of feelings themselves it will most likely just serve to weird them out.

_dublinlad_

I dont think any of your "intuition" has anything got anything to do with this / nor should it. Without trying to sound mean these "things" are just subconscious phyco-bable on your part.

It is as simple as this - you met this guy randomly, you thought there was something there between the two of you and he didnt. Its that simple. It sounds like he has given you your answer but you are trying to convince yourself with your "intuition" that you should try contact him again and give it another bash.

I would tend to say just move on from him and get on with your life.

Lolajay

Your post was really interesting....I think it's kinda sad how worried you are about being judged for your advanced intuition! It sounds like a gift...maybe not always a positive addition to your world but well done for acknowledging it and trying to come to terms with it.

In terms of the situation you are in. If you texted him 10 days ago and have still had no response I would let the situation lie.

Removing your own gut feelings on the matter............you have put the ball in his court. Now it's up to him.

As previous posters have said - what's meant for you won't pass you by. If you do any more or contact him again I think you will just wind up feeling crapy about yourself - from reading your post - you seem sad and upset that you get these vibes and feelings. It would be nice for you to meet someone and be able to tell them right away about things like that (maybe don't tell them you have a premonition of carrying their child haha) but we should be able to share ourselves entirely with the people closest to us.

I don't know what age you are but I hope that you feel more comfortable in your own skin soon

PS- If anyone did give you a hard time here...screw them. You are you x

newuser30

I would advise you OP to not contact him again. I understand some people are very intuitive but honestly if I broke up with someone, wanted to be friends, then 6 months later heard that from them that they were having these visions, etc, I would be a bit scared. And it would annoy me because they were not respecting my decision to end the relationship. You are not being relaistic. If a bloke wanted to be with you and felt this 'connection' he would not of broke up with you and want to be friends.
Keep these thoughts and visions to yourself. If I have predicted something, or saw something happening in a dream and it happens, the only people who will hear about it are those who I known all my life and will be like 'oh right yea thats great'. Anyone else, as in someone I'd known a short period of time would not be hearing about it because they will think I'm a loon.
When I have felt a strong 'connection' with a man, i think it was just me fancying the **se of them:rolleyes:. As well as this bond you feel you had, you were simply falling in love with him.
If its meant to be it will be. You've reached out already, so leave it be, time to move on with your life I think.

LegacyUser

OP, and other posters:

I don't think it's really right to be condoning all of this or advising her to contact the guy.

OP, I think the chance was missed, need to just move on.

As far as all the dreams and visions stuff goes, I think you'd have most guys running a mile if they heard this. It's very very scary to hear all this from a girl because it comes across as overly obsessive. I've had a girl act that way before and it's intense. You realise it's not REAL right? All this mystic, seeing the future stuff?
I think you may need to talk to someone about it.

Honestly, if you could predict the future and are never wrong, why have you not won the lotto? nd why have you not seen this isn't working out?

I think you might need to let this one go, maybe talk to someone about these visions and then you'll move on quite happily I think.

LegacyUser

_dublinlad_ wrote: »

I dont think any of your "intuition" has anything got anything to do with this / nor should it. Without trying to sound mean these "things" are just subconscious phyco-bable on your part.

It is as simple as this - you met this guy randomly, you thought there was something there between the two of you and he didnt. Its that simple. It sounds like he has given you your answer but you are trying to convince yourself with your "intuition" that you should try contact him again and give it another bash.

I would tend to say just move on from him and get on with your life.

With no disrespect to you, most adults hear other people, but rarely do they listen. There is a big difference.

You cant understand my situation because you are not in it, maybe from a man point of view and that is appreciated, but please dont judge what you dont know about by calling it "psycho-bable". That is too narrow minded, and too easy to form judgement. When we are children, we have an unreal ability to listen. As adults, we loose this. We dont listen, we just form judgements.

Sub conscious mind indeed. That holds information that we have yet to process in our conscious minds. The things I know I cannot possibly have previously known sub conscious or otherwise.

Something happened a few months ago with one of my workmates (I inadvertently/accidentally told her she was pregnant-she didnt know herself), and to this day she still asks me how did I know. She always brings it up and looks at me oddly. This isnt the first time Ive known about pregnancy in others (again my sister included-knew that about a month before she knew-didnt want to ruin the surprise for her!). Thats just an example.

I wish I could explain it better. From my own "human" feelings, yes I cannot do anymore. I have reached out as one poster said. I have tried. But this still isnt going away. I dont think sending him an email with an explanation would do any good (although thank you for your post). If he got in contact, I might try over time to explain. It just makes me very sad now. I just want this thing to go. It is also nice to hear that some of you also have some experiences with intuition. Any help on how to handle things, please share with me.

Lisha

Thisisanunusualone wrote: »

You are 100% correct and that is what I am terrified of. I cannot waste years waiting for something to happen! It is clouding me. But this darn thing wont go away. I dont want this. I've never had it last this long. Am so unhappy. Cant get rid of it, and cant find out anything about it. And nothing from him to make it go away. Its like being stuck/caught in limbo. I so want it to go away.

fair point but maybe you need to look at this another way..... It cannot be considered a waste if it is not meant to happen until a time in the future.

I think you need to break the cycle of thinking about this in the same way anyone would try to break the cycle of negative thinking... for example when you think about this either try and change subject matter or else concentrate on this happening when and only when it is meant to..

I wish you peace OP

Taltos

OP - at this time I am going to go ahead and close this thread.

RI is for relationship advice issues and this thread is becoming a lot further reachng than just your issue on the relationship question, dealing with topics and beliefs that we are not qualified to talk to here.
Please review the advice above and take some time to figure out what the right action for you both is at the moment.

Can I take this opportunity though for to thank everyone here for respecting the OP's beliefs and focusing on the open question. While we have had to manage some unreg'd responses we do appreciate the sensitivity shown both here on this thread and on a number of PM's others have sent onto the team.

OP - wishing you all the best and while this relationship might not work out I hope the next will.

Thanks
Taltos