I have no interests

LegacyUser

I read somewhere recently, maybe on boards, that someone had asked them what they did for fun, and that they realised that didn't really do anything for fun at all. Struck a chord with me too, although I've been aware of my situation for years.
Basically I work, go to the gym, cook, and go to bed. That's my daily life. I go out at the weekends drinking etc and enjoy myself. I have lots of friends but apart from going to restaurants and drinking I don't really see them outside of that, apart from the odd game of tennis or squash.
I learn 2 languages at the moment and have a good job. I live in a very expensive place so I don't have that much expendible income so I have to flatshare. I spent years travelling, backpacking, living abroad all that stuff but I'm settle now in a huge city (not in Ireland).
The only things I've ever really enjoyed have been surfing and exploring the countryside and enjoying the sun. It's impossible to do any of that stuff where I live now, which makes me want to move back to Ireland as I would be out surfing a lot and hiking etc.
I am stuck here for at least another year or two though.
So what can I do? I really have no interests that are social activities so the only outlet I have is drinking and talking nonsense in the pub.
I am single now, the last girlfriend I had became the centre of my existence I think and this probably pushed away. At the time I felt like I had nothing else to live for except her. Sad I know. But I'm happy now. I don't want another girlfriend until I am leading an interesting life, but right now I'm just bored.
Are there any other people out there with no interests or passions or any particular talents? It's a bit depressing, even though I'm happy enough with my lot, it could be far worse.

P.S. I'm not into salsa dancing, tag rugby, already take spanish and french lessons, and don't have too much money to spend.

ongarboy

OP - perhaps you are being a little hard on yourself. Interests or fun do not have to be just something that can take place in organised groups or clubs. You say you are taking French and Spanish classes. Unless you are doing this as ordered by your boss or as an essential criteria to progress/qualify for something, I'm guessing you took them up voluntarily as an extra curricular activity are are gaining some satisfaction from it? That would be a form of interest in my book.

I wouldn't knock meeting friends at the pub and talking nonsense as not being fun either. Surely you go to the pub and meet friends/shoot the breeze because you like doing it (hence doing it for fun) rather than the fact you are obliged or forced to. Do you watch TV/dvds/go to the cinema - all pastimes or fun. You said you go to the gym, yet again a past-time - it may not always be fun working up a sweat but it's an active past time too.

Is there a Boards type website in your country where you can check for forums that deal with various hobbies or events going on in your neighbourhood that you could ask about and get involved that way? Good luck!

LegacyUser

OP, you can look on this feeling in a positive light. You have a lot of experience behind you, some good, some bad, and now you have arrived here. You have just reached a point in your life where you crave change and all you need to do is embrace that in a positive way.

From reading your post your life does sound quite full, what with your job, friends and social life (many people have none of these!). You are learning two languages and that takes a lot of motivation and enthusiasm, you should be proud of yourself. Give yourself a break! However, I can relate that despite all the things one might have or what one does, there is still a palpable feeling of dissatisfaction.

You could plan to move back to Ireland, but I would not recommend that, being stuck here myself!! I am quite bored with my own friends and surroundings and planning a move to a totally new city in a different culture/language next year. That is how I am dealing with this feeling, but if you are truly stuck in your city, the best thing would be to try some new things that lie outside your normal comfort zone. I'm sure there are things related to hiking and outdoors activities that you could look into, groups travelling outside the city for activities for example.

The important part is to be proactive about actually doing something new. You might encounter a few let-downs in your experimentation but it's just as likely that you will get something positive out of taking a risk too! You just never know.

The world's your oyster!

LegacyUser

You have interests, you're just generally outdoorsy but stuck living in the middle of a city. Same thing happened to me when I went abroad to teach English, and ended up in the middle of giant city (and I'm a not a city person). Here's what worked for me:

With a little time and effort, I found friends that liked hiking as well, and we'd go on weekend trips once or twice a month, which helped a lot. Granted, it's a pain to sit on a train for three hours just to go hiking, but its worth it, especially with good company.

Second, find a cheap second-hand bike and start cycling. For me it gives a lot of similar buzz as hiking, but more suitable for more urbanized areas. I.e. if you don't have a mountain nearby to hike, taking a train out a bit and then cycling along some country roads is lovely.

Finally, given that you're in a (presumably) foreign city, I'd suggest trying being a tourist a few evenings a month. Try different cultural activities (museums, theatre, opera, local rock concerts, etc. - some can be expensive, but you can often find free days/discount days). You probably won't like all of them (I literally slept through half of my first and last ballet, despite being a world-renown Russian production), but some stuff might surprise you. On a similar note, I found reading about this history of the place I was in quite fascinating (but then, I like history).

LegacyUser

thanks all. Yes I have a bike and cycle 20k a day and visit various places at the weekends by bicycle. I guess I'm a bit lonely and I wouldn't mind some female company, it's been over a year since I ever had a kiss. Was burned pretty bad by my last gf and I don't have any confidence around women anymore. I always thought the solution to this was to keep busy and sooner or later you meet someone. But that's not the case, some of my relatives died alone etc, having never been married. I'm just tired of it, sigh

LegacyUser

I find Okcupid great for meeting new people, not even romantically necessarily but friends too. It's a very safe bet to say that there are other people in your very large city who feel the same way you do.

Moving elsewhere in Europe next year and have already connected with people like me on Okcupid who would like to meet up (platonically, I have a partner) once I get there. So many friendly souls in the world