Struggling with London

zodiak

hey guys, just wondering what your thoughts are on this. I have travelled alot but came to London a while ago.. have an ok job but miss home alot. Thing I have found with London is i have met people to have a pint with but not made any real mates just starting to get fed up by now did anyone experience London like this when u first got off the boat or does it take time? I have already been home a few times and every time is just gets harder and harder to leave home and come back over

thanks

audi a4 2008

hi there,im in guildford myself and youre right its hard to find real good freinds
to be around weekend or just to call and have a chat to.

try and hang in there its hard missing home and that but theres nothing at home at least here were makeing a few pound,i see myself ive noone either but im well used to it to be fair.it takes time my freind it takes time:)

zodiak

cheers bro... i left ireland in such a hurry after a sticky relationship ended i didnt have time to think properly but not sure if i have made the right decision.. gonna give it 6 months minimum thats what i promised myself when i was moving over

audi a4 2008

london is crazy all rush bit easyier here i guess where i am,ya give ureself six months at least you will have a lot more insight after that time,
theres a lot more people here they will have a lot more info and advice for you but at the end of the day only you know best.

zodiak

cheers bro appreciate the advice

LadyMayBelle

It takes time zodiak, and it's different for everyone but always takes a while to settle. Come along to our next boards drinks meet up and you'll meet some folk there too. Hang in there; I struggled and still struggle at times!

caesar

Been here since January. Have been home a few times and haven't taken much notice coming back. However, I went home for the long weekend and was home for 9 days. On the way back yesterday, I had that feeling of ugh, just a tad, not pushed now at all really.

I always said I'd give London a chance, meaning a year at least. People at home have been asking me how its going and I've been pretty open about the fact that I don't really have a group of friends. There's no one I can really call and say do you wanna go grab a pint or do something for the day. I'll talk to anyone really and am very sociable. It's not like college though.... where you have all week to get to know people, it's somewhat limited to weekends.

I guess living in a short term let hasn't exactly helped but I'm moving in the next few weeks so I hope to move in with people that I can actually become good mates with. My housemates are grand and I've been out with them a bit but they have their own mates are beyond the young professional stage. The people I work with are great too and really sociable and I've been out with them a quite bit but it would be nice to hang out with some people outside of work.

I guess once I move I'll see what happens and I'm also thinking of joining some clubs or something. As LadyMayBelle mentioned come to boards drinks. I really enjoyed the last one...okay so everyone might be dotted around different parts of the city but you meet some great people.

As others have said to me, home really isn't all that great at the moment in reality. I know for a fact that when I go home, I come back with this rose tinted view which is very much nostalgic.

rgmmg

It's not easy.

I moved over in 2001 and it took me at least a year to finally get settled. Similar to yourself, I knew very few people and spent most weekends on my own wishing I could go out for a pint. Some very low points on the homesick front at first. I used to pretend to walk into the terminal at Dublin but I would always watch them drive off into the distance wishing i was in the car with them!

The easiest place to get mates is through people you might work and live with. Unfortunately, for me at first, I didn't seem to get on with the people in work (think I just felt ostracised even though I wasn't in hindsight) and the landlord I lived with was a d1ck so didn't want to socialise with him. I only knew one other Irish person in London at that time so after 6 months I moved in with him and it was a lot easier. I was lucky in that respect, but even moving to an area you like (once you get your bearings right) might help. If you meet a chick then it becomes quite a bit easier on the friends front. I'm glad to see there are "meet-ups" organised via this site - you will definitely meet people in the same situation at those.

All you can do is hang in there - it will get easier. Best of luck.

silvervixen84

London is very fast-paced and can be overwhelming for some people, but give it a chance and get yourself out there to meet people. There's so much to do here.

I was very lucky coming over to London. I thought I'd be terribly homesick but took to it like a duck to water! I moved over with my best friend so we had each other to lean on. The only bad thing about that was that I didn't branch out enough to meet people. She ended up moving back home after a year (homesick and stressful work environment) so I had to make the effort to put myself out there and mix with people.

It can be difficult to establish friendships here though but I've reconnected with a couple of old friends who live here and I've also met some great boardsies that I'm now friends with. I've also tried the 'meetup' sites but they can be hit and miss as you might get friendly with someone, then never see them again! Where I work, everyone just seems to disperse at the end of the work day/week. I found that strange as back home in Cork some of my closest friends were a few girls I worked with. Maybe that's just a big company v small company issue.

I've used this forum to organise an impromtu pint on a Sunday evening when I was bored and didn't want to sit around the flat by myself. It turned out to be a lovely evening!

tl/dr - Get yourself out there, give the place a chance to charm you and book your next flight home so you've something to look forward to. Good luck!

LadyMayBelle

I don't work with anyone my age/ available for a drink or coffee which really threw me initially as that was my plan; to make friends at work. My partner has a few contacts but that's mainly after work on a Friday drink. He'd love someone to meet for a pint or watch a match that's not me( which is fair enough: we are together all the time bar work, and he's currently planning to watch all or at least part of every euro 2012 match.... Groan!).

I still have a lot (a hell of a lot!) of weekends where I'm bored out of my mind and cant bear the thought of going somewhere like a market or exhibition on my own again. I do feel sorry for myself for a but on those weekends but just get out of the house even for an hour, or email or ring someone from home. I miss home and my friends.

Honestly, boards has been a lifesaver, which sounds extreme but honestly, meeting up with lovely, lovely people (sane ones too!!) has been so good. Do it; I think there should be more random meet ups and for everyone to know they don't have to be alone

zodiak

thanks for the replys wow glad other people understand where im coming from. Strange being all alone as before there was always someone around family/mates and now I wish thinking to myself back then jesus just wish ppl would leave me alone. Il head to the boards meet up but also thinking about joining some clubs and stuff get me out of the house before I start waking up and saying good morning Mr Wall cheers everyone

fluke

Come to the next social Zodiak! It'll be a good stepping stone to meeting new people and it might just be the shot in the arm you need.


actually I may get to the next one myself!!

bazpaul1

I would say to attend the meet-ups here - them seem pretty good!!!