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bf on holidays feel paranoid

  • 11-06-2012 4:49pm
    #1
    LegacyUser
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 166,026 ✭✭✭✭


    hi guys , my boyfriend of 2.5 years went to america for two weeks on holiday with his mother and brother , hes home in one week but I cant help but feel paranoid ,he cheated on me 2 years ago and i only found out a few months ago but i decided to give him a second chance , because I love him , but recently I ve been feeling very weary about him being on holidays.

    I feel so vunerable and , when we were going out he used to disappear on nights out by himself even though we were living together, I love him but I feel so unstable lately thinking about everything. Im 21,hes 20 he said he would never cheat again but I mean if he cheated on me two years ago whats to stop him now while on holiday . please dont call me mean or bad for thinking this


Comments

  • #2
    tinkerbell
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 6,423 ✭✭✭tinkerbell


    OP, he's going on hols with his mother and brother, not some gang of lads going on a pulling holiday. You either trust him or you don't, if you can't trust him, the relationship will never work.

    Tbh from the way your post is, you're prob better off not being with him. Constantly worrying if your OH is cheating is not good for your own mental well-being etc.


  • #3
    helimachoptor
    Moderators, Science, Health & Environment Moderators Posts: 21,692 Mod ✭✭✭✭helimachoptor


    Yeah I'd go with tinkerbell above, he's on holidays with his mother he isn't going to be going out pulling


  • #4
    orchidsrpretty
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,148 ✭✭✭orchidsrpretty


    Also to add if he is twenty he won't be getting in to any pubs club.

    If he cheated at the beginning of the relationship, I wouldn't dwell on it.


  • #5
    I am a friend
    Closed Accounts Posts: 2,479 ✭✭✭I am a friend


    OP are you still living with him? I think you are experiencing the after wffects of his cheating. Some people cant get over it no matter how much they love someone. I would play devils advocate and say, especially given your age, that you shouldnt have to put up with this. You have your whole life ahead of you and there are plenty of guys out there who wont cheat on you.


  • #6
    Peanut2011
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,001 ✭✭✭Peanut2011


    OP, the only way your relationship will last is if you can move on from the cheating. No relationship will have 100% guarantees that other person won't cheat, however if you trust them and they trust you that guarantee is not an issue.

    I know myself personally would never trust my OH if I ever found out she cheated on me and that would be it for the relationship. I would not be able to forgive and forget.

    You need to ask yourself if you can. If you can than him being away even on the lads weekend should not cause you problems, however if you can't you are better of admitting up to that and finishing the relationship now as sooner or later your worry will get the better of you.


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