Accepting who I am

LegacyUser

Okay, following on from some themes in threads here I've got some relationship issues.

I try many times to sort myself out. My GP thinks that it is good that I want to change (despite me not changin in over 10+ years).

I'm unable to make friends and have any type of relationship. In my mid thirties now and still a virgin. My only experience with a female was with a hooker in Eastern Europe on holiday. Even then I was too shy to do the deed and it ended up a waste of time and money.

Fast forward to today. A relation told me in passing (I think anyway) about someone who sounded to be in a similar position to myself (no friends, single) and how that person is having severe mental problems and is beyond help.

It got me thinking. Am I now beyond help? I've been like this for so long now, I feel that I'm conditioned to this. I have my life, my routine and despite wanting things I can never reach out and take them. It gets harder as you get older to meet people so adding this to my problem it would seem that I'm fighting a losing battle.

Am I now beyond help too? It sometimes feels like that.

I just can't see how people make friends today. Girls don't notice me. When I did have mates they all got girls every once in a while. Whereas I got nothing. They usually didn't bother with me. However, when they got to know me they all seemed to like me (but were obviously datin gmy mates at the time).

I don't think anyone knows what I've been going through in all these years. I think people know that I've not had 'much' success with girls but probably not the true extent. I've got a good job, car, house - but the material things are not what I want or need.

Yes, there are two problems - lack of friends and lack of female intimacy.

However, I can't see how either of them can be solved. Nothing in 10 years has helped either.

Is it now time to throw in the towel? As for females - I don't want to be the old perv in the pub/club - not my scene anyway. I was thinking of getting an escort to at least get some physical contact. I'd rather not be bald and still a virgin.

When do you admit defeat and say this is me and deal with it as best you can insterad of trying to change to meet the norm?

gypsy_rose

You never admit defeat. I don't know exactly how to solve your problems, but the main thing is that you never give up. Believe in yourself, you're not some loser, you have a job, a place to live, a car, it's not hopeless. Sometimes it's better just to try and focus on what you do have rather than what you don't. Though this is a facebook quote I think in this context it has some meaning: The problem with this world is that the stupid are cocksure and the intelligent are full of doubt. Sometimes we just have to borrow from the cocksure and pretend everything is OK when it's not, coast through things now and again and say, screw it, I don't care!

You only get one life, live it as you see fit, but don't ever give up on things until your body gives out. You're stronger than you think.

edellc

OP dont give up hope all is not lost even when you think it is

Do you have any interests or have you ever had something that you would like to try but didnt, well do it join a club, go salsa dancing, do an evening course, take yourself out of your comfort zone and see how it goes

and why not try an escort if your awkward around woman then yes you can practice your conversation with them through an escort or you may practice something else with them

life is too short to be looking at ideal situations and what others have and what you dont, so grab it by the balls and be brave, you are the only one that can say yes i may not feel confident but i am going to fake it till i make it, hell its what everyone else is doing that why they have the lives they have

so take a risk op and take control your destiny

peace and love op x

RealistSpy

Hi OP,

Life is hard, it will beat you you up and slap you about if you let it. Life doesn't care, you have to take control and turn all these negative energy into positive. You won't change if you just seat down and expect things to just come to you.

You are worth more...we all are, so go out there, even if it's for a regular work. Join a social group by be a club or an evening course and don't be afraid to talk.

So the question is: will you let life beat you or will you get back on the horse and take control?

GL..you will be grand..positive thinking