am i overreacting??

LegacyUser

Hi all,

Feel I should go unregistered for this one, just need a bit of advice. Had my first consultants appt today (am semi private shared care patient) and went in on a bit of a high after a really lovely scan. The consultant was pretty abrupt but i can get over that, he asked me about nuchal fold testing for down syndrome and really bothered me by asking me straight out if i'd have a termination if I found out I was expecting a ds child. He said as an afterthought that I was low risk due to my age (31) and that the scan looked perfectly normal.

I dont want this test i dont think i could terminate the child anyway so whats the point in knowing...??

He didnt put me at ease in anyway, this is my first pregnancy and i left the room feeling like crying. I dont want to go back to him. I dont know what to do...also isnt abortion illegal in this country?

Does anyone have any idea what I should do? feel like i should take this test now...

Thanks in advance

liliq

A lot of people get tests like that done with absolutely NO INTENTION of having a termination either way.
It's more about preparation for post birth. I know of (not know personally) one mum who breastfeeds her downs baby very successfully, but needed a bit extra support, and she was able to get that in advance which was vital to her and her baby's breastfeeding relationship.

As far as I know, it's generally encouraged to have the nuchal fold scan done if you're over 35?
Personally I don't think I'd get it at 31.
I hope you're not too upset... sometimes they're just busy and come across very cold.

Mink

The Nuchal Screening test is not necessary at all, it's not done as routine in Ireland & most people, if they want it, pay for it privately (I had it done privately, just personally wanted to do it). If your child does have DS or any other genetic issues, it would come up at your usual anomaly scan at 20-22 weeks anyway & then you would have plenty of time to prepare by educating yourself & the maternity staff would be prepared as the info would be on your notes

I'm really surprised the consultant even brought it up with you as you are so young and it's not done as routine anyway. They usually only do it if the mother is over 40 and there is a history of DS in her or her partner's immediate family. But even then, it would still come up later in the anomaly scan.

He probably didn't mean to be cold about it or offend you, as liliq says, sometimes they can come across this way as they are often clinically minded and just don't have great bedside manners.

notsobusy

I'm also suprised your consultant brought it up with you! I opted to go for extra tests but I had to enquire about it myself. When I asked the midwife the response I got was
"Ah sure you're young fit and healthy what would be wrong?"

Not an ideal response but I just brushed it off and went off and organised it myself. I was too late for the Nuchal Fold Scan so got the Triple Blood Test done.

I am going public so I have never seen the same consultant twice. if you go semi private can you see another consultant?

TwoMums2Be

I wouldn't let it worry you like others have said some consultants are odd You should enquire as to whether he is your fixed consultant and whether you can change. You need to like your consultant esp when you are paying for them. Friends of ours opted to lose a grand because they didn't like their consultant on first impression & couldn't change. So started again with a new consultant...not an option for many I know!

With regards to the test it kinda depends on the type of person you are. I am the kind of person who prefers to be able to mentally prepare myself for circumstances so it would be better for me to know in advance. My partner on the other hand likes to deal with things as they happen & so for her it would be better to find out at the birth We didn't get the test done personally but if you feel you would like to know then you should.

Abortions are illegal here yes but Irish women are having abortions in the UK everyday!

chirogirl

Its a personal choice whether to have first trimester screening, I was 37 when pregnant last year. Though, I sought the test myself not for the intention of having a temination, just to know my odds of having a Downs baby. My odds came back high for my age at 1/60 (usually 1/170) for a 37 yr old. From there I went onto have the CVS, which gives a definate answer if you baby has Downs, Woods and Edwards syndromes. For me personally it was the right thing to do. Though I do think its aimed more for women of 35+.

chirogirl

Oh btw, I had a beautiful, healthy Daughter.

emmabrighton

I was also asked about the nuchal fold test when I went for my booking appointment and I said I would. As a previous poster said the anomaly scan will throw up any questions if there is a problem. This is what happened to me. My nuchal screening came back with excellent results and I was delighted with myself... that was one thing that i didn't have to worry about. But, at my anomaly scan it was a whole different kettle of fish. Now the consultant suspects a genetic disorder (trisomy of some sort) so that would cover any of the Downs, Woods and Edwards syndromes. So, I had an amniocenthesis and am awaiting the results. If you know you are not going to terminate then there is really no difference between finding out at 12 weeks or finding out at 24 weeks.

p.s. like other posters have said... consultants are extremely clinical, worst case scaniaro kinda guys. They just don't seem to get that you are a mom and you have loved this baby from the moment you had a positive pregnancy test. :rolleyes: