Feel stupid

LegacyUser

Im in my late 30s. Im a teacher . Married. One kid . Im haunted my feelings of inadequacy. I struggled to read as a child eventually did and got a degree but I still feel special needs. My leaving was poor and only got into College on a Third round offer. I have though done a few post grads. I cant retain directions. Im bad at paperwork-make mistakes. My working memory is poor. Today when handing out exams I could not find the honours papers-they were under my arm.I took four goes to get my driving license. I could go on..

I know teaching is not a bad job but I feel like I should have done more with my life. I dont even feel that great a teacher compared to colleagues, I come from a family of high achievers. I feel status anxiety constantly.

I was on medication in my 20s . I lost a job then in teaching-fired. I have not been on medication for a decade but these feelings wont go away. The times we are in dont help and my child is very young.

Milk & Honey

You should do what other teachers do and pretend you are doing it because its a vocation. You can then ignore high achievers as not being fulfilled.

username123

I think you should speak to your GP.

You are listing what I consider wonderful achievements, combined with ordinary forgetful mistakes. I often forget where something is or what I walked into a room to do - it depends whats on my mind at the time, if my mind is elsewhere I forget silly stuff.

But you do not need to feel inadequate - speak to your GP, it might be times to review your situation given that you are feeling anxious.

Ickle Magoo

Milk & Honey, this is an advice forum - if you have no constructive advice to offer the OP then kindly refrain from posting.

Be aware that off-topic and unhelpful posting can earn you a ban from this forum.

If you haven’t done so already, please take the time to read the [URL=" http://www.boards.ie/vbulletin/showthread.php?t=2056181484"]forum rules[/URL] in the charter.

Many thanks.



As per site policy, if you have an issue with any moderator instruction or request please contact a relevant moderator via PM - DO NOT drag the thread further off-topic by responding on-thread

wylo

Have you considered CBT?

It seems all your problems are evolving around very low self esteem and as you say, status anxiety.
You seem to have created a bunch of beliefs about what you think you should be and how the world works, and not living up to that causes all that anxiety.

Basically, its ALL in your head, the other problems arent actually problems , they are just silly things you are taking seriously (with the exception of your childs future of course)

Im not saying that me saying that will help, what Im saying is that you should take your situation a little more seriously than a mild personal issue.

No-one should have to live like that. Its not worth wasting the one life you have on anxieties and worrying about other silly things.

I could say the obvious, "you've done postgrads, you're a teacher, you went to college", but me giving you some mild pick me ups isnt going to solve the fundamental issue.

Babooshka

Feelstupid wrote: »

I know teaching is not a bad job but I feel like I should have done more with my life. I dont even feel that great a teacher compared to colleagues, I come from a family of high achievers. I feel status anxiety constantly.

.

I work in a boring 9 to 5 office job and I have very similar hang ups to yours. The ironic thing is, in my fantasy of having an adequate career, being a teacher would be something I would be immensely proud to be.

Just goes to show you that we're all different and have different expecatations for ourselves. I know that I am incredibly hard on myself and tend to compare myself to others too much. Sometimes we should give ourselves a break. My partner and friends can point out my strong traits, to me shaking my head thinking I am the world's biggest under achiever. I would love to be more devil may care, the country's in a bad way, but I have a roof over my head, people who love me, and a steady income. But I didn't go to college and I don't have an amazing exciting life, so I constantly berate myself for not pushing myself harder. I'd like to change my attitude toward myself and either work harder at changing or accept what I am now. If I ever find the secret I'll tell you, but just know that you're not alone.