Boyfriend works too much

lauramc58

I know it's not really a bad complaint to have now a days but my boyfriend works way too much,he doesn't Come over a lot and it's beginning to feel as though he just comes over to go to bed, and not just in the biblical sense, sometimes he comes over just to sleep. I just wanted some help on what todo or say to him. I use to always meet up with friends and now I don't incase he's able to come over so I spend most of my time waiting around for him. Any advice appreciated!

thefa

Don't your plans/socialising on hold on the odd chance that window of time might suit him or you may find yourself becoming more isolated from your friends for little or no benefit.

Is it not possible to meet up earlier in the days, especially on days off work?

stargazer 68

lauramc58 wrote: »

I use to always meet up with friends and now I don't incase he's able to come over so I spend most of my time waiting around for him. Any advice appreciated!

Yeah - don't do that!! Op go out with your friends and make him 'make a date' with you. Dont sit it and wait for 'just in case' because one of these days you will turn around and your friends will not be there!

Beruthiel

lauramc58 wrote: »

I use to always meet up with friends and now I don't incase he's able to come over so I spend most of my time waiting around for him.

Stop doing that.
Do not, under any circumstances, put your life on hold for someone else.
If he cannot organise when he's coming to see you, that's his problem and you should not be sitting around waiting on the never never.

analucija

lauramc58 wrote: »

I know it's not really a bad complaint to have now a days but my boyfriend works way too much,he doesn't Come over a lot and it's beginning to feel as though he just comes over to go to bed, and not just in the biblical sense, sometimes he comes over just to sleep. I just wanted some help on what todo or say to him. I use to always meet up with friends and now I don't incase he's able to come over so I spend most of my time waiting around for him. Any advice appreciated!

I live with someone like that. I know he'll rarely be trough the door before eight in the evening. I love him and I know he loves me but I think he is workaholic and I also the bills have to be paid so you get on with it. We have a child so my free time is limited too but one thing I don't do anymore, is wait for him. I cook dinner and he heats it up whenever and etas it alone. Sometimes I even go to bed before he is home. But we do make sure to do stuff together on Saturday or Sunday. It's where I draw the line. You should try to strike some sort of a compromise for the time spent together and stick to it. Don't let him be the only one who decides when or how you'll see each other. And do not put your life on hold just for him. And don't hope it will change, it almost never does.

lauramc58

Thanks a mill for all your replies! When I read what I wrote first I knew that something needed to be done I just needed someone to say it to me. analucija, thanks for the heads up, I had convinced myself that if we moved in together things would be different but now I see they won't, I may work out something with him because I was starting to get really annoyed at him even thou it wasn't his fault... My first step is to start a hobby or something in the evenings!

stargazer 68

lauramc58 wrote: »

My first step is to start a hobby or something in the evenings!

Laura - first step is to arrange a night out with your friends!

dellas1979

Is he working too much or is he just not making an effort? What kind of job does he do that he is telling you that he is working all the time?

x Purple Pawprints x

Don't put your life on hold for someone else OP. Arrange a night out with your friends and go have a good time! My brother spent an entire summer waiting around for his now ex gf. He would stay in the house waiting for her to text with her plans for the day and then if she wanted to do something, they would. He made no plans with anyone else just in case she was free and wanted to see him.

It also may not be a bad idea to talk to him either. It's all well and good to tell you not to wait around for him but I know you want to spend some time with him as well. Maybe you could arrange to go to the cinema or something on one of his days off.

Best of luck OP.

LegacyUser

Reading your op you could be talking about me
Im completly addicted to work, well not work really but closing sales
im self employed and run 7 businesses at the moment which is very hard as its a struggle to keep some of them going most of the time

Ive never been able to hold on to a girlfriend for too long always hearing the same thing - not contacting them enough, they might have to wait a couple of hours for me to reply to a text or phonecall, complaining that they were not getting enough attention. Usually an argument started before long with all of them to which I would quickly end by asking what did you do before you met me?

Ive now found a girlfriend and we've been together over a year, that completly understands the situation
She does not expect me to be her source of entertainment, she has a very busy lifestyle herself and does not expect me to be available every evening, she will wait for me to call or text and does not get angry if its a day or two before I do as she knows ill often be in meetings late at night until im falling asleep
We usually see each other on a saturday and sometimes on a sunday aswell, but sometimes we might not see each other for a couple of weeks

The moral of my longwinded post here is that my girlfriend keeps herself busy, has hobbies goes out with her friends etc so if we do not see each other alot it doesnt bother her

My advise to you would be plan your week around yourself, make plans to go out with your friends, go to the cinema or whatever will entertain you, do not give up your social life waiting around for your boyfriend if he works alot, if he wants to see you to spend time with you he will find time from somewhere in his busy schedule to do something with you